DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went through a divorce, and I’m struggling to figure out who I am now. There were no kids involved, so the breakup was really just between my ex and me. I thought I had my life figured out, but now that I’m on my own, I’m feeling lost. I’ve been so focused on being a partner for so long that I don’t even know what I want for myself anymore.

I’ve started doing things for myself -- like picking up new hobbies, traveling more and spending more time with friends -- but I still feel like there’s something missing. I’m not sure whether it’s the routine I had when I was married or whether I’m just afraid of being alone in this new phase of life. I keep wondering whether I’ll ever feel truly comfortable on my own, or whether I’ll always feel like something is incomplete. How do I rediscover who I am and what I want out of life after a marriage? Is it normal to feel this way, or should I be worried that I’m not moving forward as I should? -- Newly Divorced

DEAR NEWLY DIVORCED: It takes time to redefine your life after divorce. It’s natural for things to feel odd or out of place given the life you previously lived. Be patient with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. Who knows whether you will partner with someone again, so don’t make that your objective. Instead, seek peace and joy. Figure out little things that make you happy, and cherish them. Give yourself time to see how your life will settle. Accept that life may feel incomplete now, but trust that you will become more comfortable over time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What should I do to learn patience if I’m constantly reminding myself, but it still doesn’t click? I find that I have a short fuse for many things: loud environments, people asking for favors, people not following through on promises, last-minute changes (even if they’re not an inconvenience), people telling me no, figuring out what to eat, completing work projects, people who make me wait -- the list goes on. Sometimes I surprise myself with how I react to things, and I usually can’t answer myself when I ask, “Why did you have to yell?” I’m high-strung, and I don’t know what to do about it. -- Impatient

DEAR IMPATIENT: In a word: Breathe. Literally. You need to learn to calm yourself by engaging your breath. When you feel anxious, pause for a moment and take three deep, cleansing breaths. As you inhale, invite patience to fill your being. As you exhale, you invite discomfort to dissipate. Before you do or say anything, allow your breath to support you.

Consider taking a yoga class. Learn to meditate. Practices like that can help calm you. You may also want to take up a sport or some kind of physical activity that engages your body and requires you to concentrate. Finally, get a therapist. It would be beneficial to find a professional who can help you look at your life and examine what is going on and how you can deal with what comes your way more effectively.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kid twisted his ankle at school today, and the teacher didn’t do anything about it. My son told me that he was in pain and was struggling to walk, but instead of sending him to the nurse or calling me, the teacher told him to “walk it off.” By the time he got home, his ankle was swollen, and I had to take him to the doctor. Thankfully, it wasn’t broken, but the doctor said he should have iced it and stayed off of it much sooner to prevent further injury.

I’m furious that the school didn’t take his injury seriously, but I don’t want to overreact. At the same time, I worry about what could happen if another child gets hurt and is ignored in the same way. I want to bring this up with the teacher and the school, but I’m not sure how to approach the conversation in a way that will lead to change. How should I handle this to make sure my concerns are heard and that something like this doesn’t happen again? -- Negligent Teacher

DEAR NEGLIGENT TEACHER: Request a meeting with the teacher immediately. It is not OK that your child wasn’t taken seriously. The teacher should have trusted that he was telling the truth and sent him to the nurse to be evaluated. The teacher needs to know what the doctor had to say and be warned that this shouldn’t happen again. Depending on the teacher’s reaction, you may also want to tell the principal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After more than a year of unemployment, I finally got a new job. It pays less than my previous role, and it is almost entry level. I’m really not happy at my new company, but I have bills to pay, so I deal with it. I feel like I’ve let myself down, though. I’ve never been much of a saver, and after being unemployed for a while I’m just getting back on my feet. With the pay cut, I’m now living paycheck to paycheck. How do I get myself out of this nightmare? At least if I’m going to hate my job, I want it to pay well. -- Check to Check

DEAR CHECK TO CHECK: I believe that whatever you do, you should do it like you are making a million dollars -- even if you are volunteering. That attitude welcomes abundance. Be grateful that you have a job. Look around for opportunities where you are working to highlight your skills, thereby creating the possibility for you to do more than this entry-level job requires. Make yourself invaluable. Think of ways to make things more efficient where you are working, and present those ideas to your supervisor. This could lead to a promotion or may help you to become poised for a better position somewhere else.

Do your best to show up with a positive attitude every day. Don’t think of this job as beneath you. It is a step along the way. Be sure to keep your eyes open for what’s next.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 7-year-old daughter's hamster died last night, and my husband wanted to go buy a new one that looked exactly like her old one so she wouldn’t notice that he had died. I said that this is a ridiculous idea; our daughter needs to learn how to deal with situations in life that make her sad. We ended up arguing about it because he thinks she’s too young to handle grief, while I believe shielding her from it will make things harder in the long run.

I want to help my daughter process the loss in a healthy way by talking about it and allowing her to grieve, but my husband insists that sparing her the sadness is the kinder approach. I know this is just a small pet, but I feel like how we handle this moment could shape how she learns to cope with loss in the future. How do we navigate this as parents? Should we have replaced the hamster, or should we guide her through this difficult moment? -- Dealing With Death

DEAR DEALING WITH DEATH: So many people are so far removed from the cycle of life and death as part of our existence that parents often encounter situations like this. I see both of your points on this, but I agree with you: Children do need to learn about these blunt facts of life. Yes, your child will be sad to learn that the pet died, but then you can talk about life and death and how long animals usually live. You can discuss feelings and loss in simple ways that your child will understand.

The bigger issue here, though, is getting on the same page as your husband. Keep talking to him until you can reach a consensus.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my girlfriend six months ago because we would get into small arguments about every little thing. It caused a lot of tension, and eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I had moved on from her, but recently, I saw her holding hands with another man, and I lost it. I couldn’t tell if I was angry that she had moved on from me or if I wasn’t over her. Since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. Part of me wonders if I made a mistake by ending things, but another part of me remembers how exhausting our constant arguments were. I don’t know if I’m feeling jealous, if my ego is bruised or if this means I still have real feelings for her. Should I try to reach out to her, or is this just my heart playing tricks on me? How do I know if I truly miss her or just the idea of being with her? -- Spotted My Ex

DEAR SPOTTED MY EX: Chalk it up to an ego bruise, and keep moving. Your ex seems to be happy with someone else. Let her be. Focus on the future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)