Dear Helaine: What sort of financial papers and documents do I need to save? I grew up with a parent who saves everything. I mean that literally. She has calendars and old Macy's bills going back 20-plus years saved in boxes. So I never learned what kind of paperwork I actually need to hold on to and what I can shred.

Do I need to hold on to every pay stub for the last 10 years? What about invoices for stuff I bought online five years ago? How long should I hold on to this paperwork? I really want to declutter my life and pare down my filing system, but I don't know what I need to keep. -- Drowning in Paperwork

Dear Drowning in Paperwork: That's a lot of paperwork -- and not, I am guessing, the full extent of what your mother, er, saves. But that's her decision, not yours. The practical result of this is that you never learned what should be kept or what could be discarded, and in adulthood you find yourself at a loss. So let's begin at the beginning.

Your birth certificate? Keep that forever. The same for your Social Security card, marriage and divorce papers (if this describes you), and the like. If you own a home, you should keep your mortgage paperwork, deed and other documents related to your ownership of the property. Also keep receipts for any home improvements and repairs; there is a chance you will need them when the day comes to sell the home.

Then there is the paperwork related to your taxes -- everything from your tax return to the pay stubs and other documentation that go along with it. As it turns out, there are different rules for what you need to keep depending on why the IRS is asking for it. For the most part, you can shred relevant documents three years after you file your annual return, but there are cases where the tax authorities can go back six or seven years. And before you trash old files, you need to know the laws where you live, too. There are states where the tax authorities can ask for documentation going back a decade.

As for online shopping receipts, there's no reason to keep them at all, never mind five years. The site you shopped at should keep copies on file. As for stuff bought day-to-day, you can unload the receipt as soon as you can no longer return it (unless it's a business expense you plan to write off on your taxes).

One last thought: If you truly want to reduce clutter, consider online storage. There are apps that can help with this, but most charge a monthly service fee.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: I am married with two young kids. Our only debts are our mortgage and $45,000 in student loans at 5.5 percent interest.

For the first time, I'm making enough money to have the First World problem of trying to figure out how to prioritize where it goes. I max out my 401(k) every year, and my wife and I have about six months in emergency cash available if things went really south. So, do I pay off the student loans? Do I invest it? Put it in a 529? Something else?

I also have a small investment in a small business, and there is the potential to increase that as well. All in all, I'm just trying to make sure I am doing what's best for the long term with this money and future funds that come in. -- First World Problem

Dear First World Problem: I notice one thing you don't mention here. Is your wife also contributing to or maxing out her retirement accounts? If she isn't, I'd make that the first priority. Otherwise, I don't see your dilemma as an either/or issue. Instead, I would think of these different goals as buckets and divide your funds accordingly.

I suspect it will give you peace of mind to begin more aggressively paying down your student loan debt. Do so. That's one bucket. It would also, I am guessing, give you peace of mind to open and begin funding 529 plans for your children's education. So put some money in that bucket, too.

As for the small business, I can't make that call for you. If you believe it has real potential for future growth, and its current revenues justify an additional investment, that can serve as yet another bucket.

But there's one other thing, and it's the most important: I notice you say nothing about fun here. As the cliche goes, man does not live by bread alone. While I would never encourage anyone to indulge in lifestyle creep, I think, based on your description, you could afford to take vacations, dine out or otherwise indulge in a few expenditures that would make the entire family happy. Make sure you do so.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Dear Helaine: My mother-in-law struggled with addiction most of her adult life. She is sober now, but looks for instant gratification through non-chemical means.

She retired early with a modest disability pension and receives Social Security. She owns a home that is paid for in full, and she now uses it as a rental.

After her retirement, she came into significant money when her husband died, from his life insurance policy. She then went on a years-long spending spree, including a new home she was unable to maintain and ultimately sold at a huge loss, world travel and an obsession with mail-order shopping. Now the money is all spent, she's in over her head, and refusing to change her lifestyle.

She feels we owe it to her to give her the money to continue to live as she enjoys. She demands that we buy a handicapped-friendly duplex where we would live in one unit, while she lives in the other rent-free and help her with her monthly expenses. We are far from wealthy, and we have a child in college. In short, there is no way we can give her what she thinks she is owed.

She won't stop spending, and I'm afraid that when she ends up homeless, we'll be forced to take her in. It's a terrible situation, to be able to see the train wreck coming and not be able to control the situation or make it stop. How would you recommend we proceed to protect ourselves while ensuring she doesn't end up living under a bridge? My husband is an only child, and there is no one else to help carry this burden. -- Desperate Daughter-in-Law

Dear Desperate: Your mother-in-law sounds like she could benefit from attending Debtors Anonymous, or working with a good financial coach (or both), but there's a catch: She needs to want to do that. And she clearly does not.

I think you and your husband are going to need to make your peace with the fact that this situation is all but out of your control. Hopefully she'll soon realize she can't keep up and either find a rental that costs less than the income she receives from renting out her home, or decide to move back there entirely.

But if she doesn't confront her spending addiction -- and make no mistake, that's what this is -- don't help her out. If you do, you will, with the best of intentions, not only be enabling her financially and emotionally abusive behavior, but also simply delaying the day of reckoning since you don't have unlimited resources either.

As you've no doubt learned by now, it isn't possible to save someone from themselves. If you feel guilty, know this: It's unlikely your mother-in-law will end up truly destitute and homeless. She's receiving a pension and a Social Security check, so in a worst-case scenario, she'll always have some income coming in.

One other thought: It sounds like your husband could benefit from attending the occasional Al-Anon meeting, where he'll met other people who also deal with a parent like his mother. They can give both advice and emotional support.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)