DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in the hospital in February, pre-pandemic. My neighbors sent me flowers. I wrote a thank-you note, but because I had a high fever, my brain was still fuzzy and I forgot to mail it.

Realizing my mistake, I rewrote the note, adding a thank-you for some masks they kindly gave us. It arrived the night that several neighbors were meeting for a socially distanced party on a large lawn.

Before the party, I had a conversation with one of the note recipients. He implied I was trying to give him anthrax, and asked if I was going to shower and wash my hands before attending the lawn party. He acted like I had put dog poop in his mailbox.

My feelings were hurt, but I’m sure he thinks he was in the right. Is this friendship over?

GENTLE READER: Well, he does sound like someone from whom you should maintain a great deal of social distance, regardless of prevailing health dangers. In addition to confusing two real but distinctive public alarms, he has jettisoned his manners.

Miss Manners recognizes the difficulty of dealing reasonably with someone who is hysterical, but perhaps you can soothe him by ignoring the insult and calmly stating that you have taken every precaution against spreading a disease you no longer have. Just do so at a great distance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband of 30 years passed in March, and due to the pandemic, I have scheduled his memorial service for the summer. His daughter, a minister living in Sweden, was to officiate.

However, when she got the obituary, she angrily told me that she will neither come nor send any writing to be read, as I failed to list his ex-wife (divorced 35 years ago) in his obituary. Of course, I had mentioned his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Do I owe an apology? This has been an uneasy relationship for years. What is the custom?

GENTLE READER: The custom is to recount important events in the life of the deceased, and a marriage, no matter how long ago, is one of them.

Miss Manners would hope that you could put aside your reaction to the daughter’s anger enough to reflect that she is hurt that her mother’s part in the life of your husband -- the part that led to some of those descendants, after all -- was obliterated. The omission would have given the impression that you were the matriarch of that entire family.

So yes, please apologize, pleading inexperience and grief, and saying how much it would have meant to her father to have her conduct the service.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes my husband yells at me when we are having an intense discussion. It is not merely raising his voice; he always sounds very angry, and sometimes contemptuous.

I find anger very hard to deal with, and I sometimes walk out of the room. He then accuses me of rudeness. Is it?

GENTLE READER: You are in need of an exit line. Miss Manners suggests, “We’ll discuss this when you are in a better frame of mind.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve been with my partner for over five years, and it’s really starting to get to me how little effort they put into keeping our home clean.

They’ve always been a bit on the lazier side, but I feel like it’s gotten worse over time. (I don’t want to immediately point to their increased cannabis consumption as the cause, but the thought has crossed my mind.) I’m doing my best to keep our home clean, while the amount of effort they put in is next to none. At most, they will occasionally tidy up the living room. The rest of the chores have become solely my responsibility.

It’s gotten to the point, and I know this is petty, that I only wash my own dishes, just to see if they take the hint or even notice. It’s been five days now: All of my dishes have been cleaned after I used them, while theirs are still in or around the sink. I honestly don’t know if they think I enjoy cleaning all the time (I don’t), or if they’re just enjoying knowing they don’t have to clean because I’ll do it.

I know I need to speak up, but I just don’t know how. In the past when I’ve made comments about cleaning, they get upset, tell me that they do their fair share (it’s never been a fair share, but it used to be more), or that they’re trying to get better. I know bringing it up will start an argument, and I hate having to deal with them when they’re in that mood. Knowing this, and knowing a conversation has to happen, how do I tell my partner to start helping out?

GENTLE READER: Conversations like this are always difficult, but letting it build up to the point of ending the relationship and moving out without saying anything is infinitely more so.

Miss Manners noticed that you did not mention this ending the relationship as an option (or perhaps, during the world’s current situation, it is not one), so she is happy to see that there is still hope. Her best advice is to ask for the advice of your partner:

“I don’t know what to do. I am deeply unhappy about the cleaning situation, and I don’t seem to be able to talk to you about it. I know that it is your position that we clean up equally, but I noticed that when I only did my own dishes for a few days, yours went untouched. I am not trying to trick or test you, but I am at my wit’s end. I want this relationship to work and to be free of resentment, but I am finding that particularly difficult right now.”

Your partner will either listen and change, or won’t -- forcing you to make a bigger decision. Either way, you will likely have a clear, less dish- and dust-laden path forward.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband eats eggs that are cooked over-easy as if it were a surgical procedure: With extreme precision, he cuts a square on top of the egg and pulls the flap back to expose the yolk. He then cuts his sausage and dips it into the yolk puddle. He claims this is perfectly acceptable and does not violate any element of good table manners.

For some reason, even as I describe this faux-fondue eating method, I find it a disgusting appetite suppressant. However, I can find no reference in my etiquette books that addresses this matter specifically.

Isn’t this a variation of playing with one’s food?

GENTLE READER: The etiquette rule that applies here is that any eating habit that disgusts one’s partner to the point of nausea should be ceased immediately. Miss Manners recommends that you encourage your husband to eat his over-easy eggs in private -- and serve only hard-boiled or scrambled ones when you are breakfasting together.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I bought my dear friend a wedding shower gift back in January, before the world turned upside down. The gift was purchased through her registry, and I received a notification that it was delivered to the bride and groom.

A few weeks later, both the shower and the wedding were delayed until 2021. I’ve spoken to my friend on the phone several times since then, but she has not brought up the gift.

I completely understand that my gift is not at the top of her mind, and I haven’t felt like it was appropriate to bring it up, but should I check to see if she received it at all? Is it tacky to give her a picture of the gift at the shower next year, or am I on the hook for two gifts?

GENTLE READER: Better to find out now, so that you can rectify the delivery problem, if need be, and alleviate any future doubt or resentment: “With the mail system being a bit precarious right now, I wasn’t sure if you had received the ravioli cutter. Please let me know if it did not come, and I will call the retailer.”

If you would prefer not to blame the mail system, which has enough troubles, you could wait until the event is rescheduled. Miss Manners does find giving a picture of the present a tad off-color. However, a gentle reminder -- as in, “I am so sorry for the circumstances, but I am glad that you got to use the cutter while we were quarantined. It seems that we all had the instinct to make homemade pasta or bread” -- would not be remiss.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My little brother always wakes me up in the morning and bothers me. I have tried to tell him calmly to go. I usually yell at him. What should I do? I want to sell my brother.

GENTLE READER: You might offer him back to the owners first, although being pre-owned, they may not give you the best price.

They can, however, get involved and help redirect these unwanted alarms, or at least propose a more mutually acceptable timeline for them. Barring that, Miss Manners suggests that you get their permission to invest in a lock -- and noise-canceling headphones.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)