DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a close friend who loves to dress up in crazy outfits. They are almost costumelike: very garish and tacky (to me, anyway), with sequins, feathers, fringe, loud colors, etc.
Advertisement
To be clear, I applaud her desire to march to the beat of her own drum. I think she should dress however she wants to, as it’s really none of my business.
My issue is that I struggle with how to respond when she texts me photos of her wacky outfits. It seems rude to not respond at all, or to give a tepid “That’s quite a look!” I feel she is constantly seeking my approval of her outfits, and I just can’t bring myself to lie and say she looks great when I think she looks a bit unhinged.
Do I just be a good friend and lie, saying I think she looks great? I hate lying, but I love my friend. Or do I continue to dig for something truthful and non-negative to say, like, “Wow, those sure are bright colors”?
GENTLE READER: It is rare that Miss Manners will invoke an electronic solution for a human problem. But in this case, she finds the “reaction” feature of text messaging a convenient one. It conveys nominal interest without having to commit to a heartfelt opinion.
She therefore suggests using “Like,” “Love” and “Emphasis” liberally, according to your relative enthusiasm for the outfits. But perhaps the question mark, however tempting it may be, should be left out of the rotation.