DEAR MISS MANNERS: A boy I knew in college, but was not close friends with, recently moved to my city, and we decided to meet to reconnect. He brought pastries and I served tea on my patio.
Advertisement
When I brought out my blue tea set, he made some off-putting remark about the situation not requiring me to “break out my best china.” The tone of it was rude, and I was made to feel small about making the casual event a little nicer.
I’m sure he did this defensively to indicate that we were not on a date. And also he’s kind of a jerk. But I could only respond with a baffled “Huh?” because I hadn’t “broken out” my best china.
I’m aware that most people do not have one, let alone two, sets of china, but I do, and I was using my less-nice set -- the, shall we say, ugly china that I didn’t care if he cracked. He was trying to shame me for doing something "extra," when in fact I had not.
So how should I have responded? There is no polite way to tell someone that you did NOT break out your nice china for them.
GENTLE READER: There is when he sets you up like that. “Oh, don’t worry,” you might have said. “I know. This is not my good china.”