DEAR MISS MANNERS: Following a snowstorm, I went to clean off my car in its space in a reserved lot. An older woman who parks in the adjacent space was doing the same. As I was shoveling out my space, she was knocking snow off her car and letting it pile on the ground.
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I understand that older people face physical challenges, as I am in my mid-70s and heavy lifting is increasingly hard on my back. As a favor to her, I not only shoveled my space, but also cleared the piled snow from hers. After that, she did another round of wiping snow off her car, knocking it into the area I had just cleared for her. So I reshoveled that snow.
She finished sooner than I did, and departed without either acknowledging my help or thanking me for it. I felt a bit of a fool for doing a favor for someone who didn’t care.
What do I do the next time it snows? Will I deserve the glare I'll get if I fail to clear her space? I don’t wish to create an adversary, but neither do I wish to be made a fool again.
Either way, I won’t expect a "thank you" in the future.
GENTLE READER: Why would you not expect a thank you, now or in the future?
Miss Manners would, but she would also assume, provisionally, that your neighbor’s omission was an oversight rather than an intentional slight.
If you neglect to volunteer next time and do get an undeserved glare, Miss Manners will have been proven wrong -- and you may thereafter keep to your own space.