DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to the small size of our home, we host two holiday parties each year, essentially splitting one big gathering into two events so that we can see everyone.

We send different invites to separate guest lists. It is always a little uncomfortable when friends talk to each other and wonder why one of them was invited on this day and another on a different day.

Could I send an invitation that lists both parties, and let the guests RSVP as to the one they would like to attend? Of course, that would require guests to respond. Many don’t even send regrets, which is all we currently ask.

I want to let my friends feel open to come to whichever is most convenient for them. Is that tacky?

GENTLE READER: You are asking for a lot of trouble on behalf of people who do not even trouble themselves to answer your invitations.

Even if this new plan prompts them to respond, what if they all want to attend on the same day? Lopsided attendance would defeat your judgment about the best use of your space.

If it were Miss Manners, she would invite only polite people, thus giving only one party. Perhaps a very intimate one. But you presumably want them all, as you have been kindly overlooking the rudeness of ignored invitations year after year.

So here is a kinder suggestion: Scrawl the phrase "'A' list," as if by accident, somewhere on both sets of invitations.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an online shop and am able to keep a high rating due to reviews from customers who are, thankfully, very kind. It’s important to keep the highest rating, as that attracts buyers to my shop.

I am also rated by the selling platform in several areas, one of which is how quickly I answer messages. I can usually figure out something kind to say to my customers. However, every once in a while, I get someone who just wants to rant, mostly about the prices of goods in my shop.

I guess these people don’t understand that I have to buy the things I sell, and can only sell them cheaply when I can buy them at a very reasonable price. When that doesn’t happen, some people want to unload their anger on me. I get hateful messages asking who I think I am to ask such outrageous amounts.

I would just ignore them, but to keep my top rating, I have to answer. I want to be polite, but I am sometimes tempted to reply, “No one is forcing you to buy this. If you don’t like the price, you are free to shop elsewhere.”

I would prefer something firm -- some of these people want to start a fight and keep fighting.

GENTLE READER: “Do you know other shops that are able to get these items and sell them for less? Because I’d love to ask them how they do it.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend whom I very much treasured has ceased to be my friend.

After 12 years of travel adventures, Saturday afternoons at markets, deep conversations over coffee, visiting each other several times a year (after she moved 1,000 miles away) and helping each other with projects, she started distancing herself from me.

I asked her what was happening, and she would only say there was nothing wrong and that nothing had changed. She acted like I was imagining things.

I received a card in the mail from her a few months ago where she mentioned, almost as an aside, that she had moved back here. I called her immediately and asked how I could have missed that she was moving back. She laughed and said she’d been here for six weeks already.

I felt crushed, though I didn’t express that. The friend I had known would have called me the day the decision was made. Actually, she would have called me before that, to talk over the pros and cons. We would have seen each other at least a dozen times in those six weeks.

Instead, we have only seen each other once in the four months she’s been back -- for 30 minutes, to watch a parade. I have reached out since then to invite her to coffee or lunch, and those messages have been returned with silence.

I honestly don’t know what happened. Should I simply acquiesce to this radio silence?

GENTLE READER: Yes, unless you want to have one more go at facing the problem directly: “Clearly we have grown distant, and I am at a loss as to why. You say that nothing is wrong, but you cannot deny that our friendship is not what it was. If I have done something wrong, please let me know so that I have a chance to correct it and make amends.”

If your erstwhile friend continues to demur, Miss Manners is afraid that you will have to accept the loss and move on. And then decide whether or not you want to avoid her at the grocery store.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years ago, my father-in-law gave me a necklace, totally unexpectedly. It was one of many pieces of jewelry he had given to his wife, who had died years prior. He also gave some pieces to other members of the family.

The necklace is not something I enjoy wearing; it gets all tangled up and I have to get it fixed each time I wear it. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is not happy with the diamond earrings she received, which she mentions occasionally.

Should I just give the necklace to her? The last time I had it assessed, they said it was worth about 39,000.

GENTLE READER: About 39,000 what?! Miss Manners hopes you mean rupees or pesos, or that you added too many zeros.

If the monetary value is truly inconsequential to you, by all means, give it to your sister-in-law. She would be forever in your debt.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter was recently part of a wedding party, acting as a flower girl for a relative of my ex-husband. My ex and I were still married when the bride asked for my permission for this, and I agreed.

Later, she asked me for a photo of my daughter to put on a wedding website. Concerned about privacy for my young daughter, I asked if the website was going to be public. She said it would be password-protected and only accessed by the wedding party, so I sent her a photo.

I also asked the bride to use my daughter's full, correct name (think "Mary Ann") anywhere it appeared; my ex-husband’s family and friends all began calling her (e.g.) "Mary" years ago, ignoring my requests to use her full name. The bride agreed.

About 10 months later, after I had left my marriage, my daughter served as the flower girl in the wedding. I was not part of the event, nor had I expected to be. Shortly after the wedding, I learned that the wedding website was indeed public and easily accessible. My daughter’s picture was public, along with her first and last name -- and the bride had used Mary instead of Mary Ann.

I asked my ex-husband about this, as he has made it clear that our daughter's privacy is important to him. He said he knew nothing about the website, though he had been sent a password to access it. He offered to ask the bride, after her honeymoon, to make the site private and correct our daughter's name. (For privacy, I don’t think the bride should have listed children’s last names at all.)

I know the couple has been back for at least a week, and yet nothing has changed on the website.

Should the bride have honored my requests, both for the privacy of the website and the use of my daughter’s full name? Or did my divorcing her relative relieve her of that responsibility?

GENTLE READER: The privacy request, yes, she should have. The name change, no: If the rest of the family is using the short version, it will feel quarrelsome to insist. And since one of your contentions is that you do not want your daughter's full name used anyway, it is an odd argument.

Miss Manners suggests, instead, that you write a kind note to the bride saying that the wedding looked beautiful and that Mary Ann had a wonderful time, but that if the bride could please double-check that the website is password-protected, you would be grateful.

The fact that you, who were not a guest, could easily find and access it should quell any contention that it was private.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)