DEAR HARRIETTE: I decided to go back to college after a 15-year hiatus. I'm excited and nervous all at once. I'm excited to go back, because I will be able to finish and get my degree. I'm nervous, because I do not want to quit this time around. I would like to develop an action plan to help me calm my nerves about going back to college. -- College Man, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR COLLEGE MAN: Congratulations on having the courage to pursue your education after so much time has passed. Deciding to complete your college education and position yourself for greater success, especially in this challenging economy, is smart. It's also smart for you to know that you should put together an action plan for success.

I recommend that you write out your goals, along with strategies for completing them. I firmly believe in writing everything down. When you record what has to be done, you have a better chance of staying on top of things.

Use a calendar to create a timeline that includes all the deadlines you are aware of from school. Assign alerts to key deadlines so that you have support in developing the discipline for success.

Find out if you can get an adviser or mentor at your school who can support you as you navigate this new territory.

Your drive to get your degree can be your fuel for when you sometimes feel overwhelmed. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think your advice to "On the Fence" about developing a relationship with a woman who is three months pregnant by a man who is in prison for two years was great -- as far as it went. However, I think you need to add that "On the Fence" needs to consider this: What if he and this woman -- and, in six months, her baby -- become a family? In two years, when the child is 18 months old, is he willing to face the prospect of dealing with an ex-convict father who is pressing for visitation rights? -- Thinking Ahead, Washington, D.C.

DEAR THINKING AHEAD: Great point. Whenever you become family with someone who already has a child, there's the likelihood that you will have to interact with the other parent. Indeed, constructive interaction is a positive thing, because it shows that both parents care about the child. But when the parent in question is an ex-convict, there's the chance that the road to peaceful interaction could be rocky, primarily because that parent was literally unable to be present while in jail.

I think that "On the Fence" should consider all factors relating to what the family composition may look like and what the challenges may be with the biological dad before he decides to step into this loving bond. It is complicated.

Quite frankly, it would be best if the biological dad, though in prison, were made aware of the development of the new family unit, so he isn't met with a surprise upon release.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After some corporate restructuring, I now have a manager in another state instead of a local manager. My new manager is a nice person, but in the six months since the transfer, I've spoken to him only a few times, and I don't hear from him about anything I'm working on or that I'm supposed to be doing.

I know I have become complacent in my position and have not kept up with current technology like I should -- and I'm in IT. Now I'm scared to let the new manager know how much I don't know. I believe that I can complete any tasks assigned to me now, but maybe not for the future. We are implementing a new corporatewide computer system and I am on the team, but I don't get any notifications of meetings or have any specific tasks assigned to me.

Should I continue to fly under the radar, or should I request a phone conference with the new manager and voice all of my concerns? I have always felt needed and knowledgeable here in my location, but now I am feeling like I'm overlooked and not needed. If I become an active member of the project team, I would be required to travel four days of every week, and I don't like to leave my home and family. -- In Hiding, Chicago

DEAR IN HIDING: First, decide what you want for yourself in this job. If you want to remain part of the team, it's time to drop your complacency and set a course for success. That means figuring out what you need to learn so that you can be up-to-date in your IT knowledge. Being proactive is essential to your success.

Of course you should develop a relationship with your new boss. Ask him about the new system and how he would like for you to help implement it. Point out that you are on the project team but haven't been given assignments yet. Let him know that you think you need additional training to do your best at your job. Tell him you have already begun looking into educational support. Ask what kind of training is available at your company.

Talk with your family about the possibility of significant travel. If it's something you can do for a specific period, you may want to go for it -- at least until you are able to find another job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to visit my sister and her family and noticed that the teenagers -- ages 13 and 14 -- were drinking coffee. I think they are too young for that.

They are going to be staying with me for a week while their parents go on vacation, and I am not going to allow them to drink coffee. Am I being too strict? I feel like when they are in my house, they have to follow my rules. -- Concerned Auntie, Orlando, Fla.

DEAR CONCERNED AUNTIE: When in your house, underage family members can definitely follow your protocol, i.e., no coffee.

FYI: There are many arguments on each side about whether coffee is bad for children. Caffeine intake is a big part of the concern. Talk to your sister about your concern, as she is the one ultimately overseeing her children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went out to the West Coast for work. I hadn't been there in such a long time that I forgot to contact some of my friends who live out there. I was there for only two days and had to make work the priority, but still I feel bad. Two of my closest friends from childhood live out there, and I didn't even call them. They heard I was there, because one friend I did call met me and we had dinner together. So now the others' feelings are hurt.

How can I fix this? The last thing I was trying to do is hurt their feelings. -- Need to Make Up, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NEED TO MAKE UP: Call your friends and express your sadness that you didn't get a chance to see them. Let them vent, if they choose to do so, because you know they miss you. Make it clear that you realize you could have handled your trip differently and that you are sorry you didn't plan to get together with them.

Do your best to stay in touch using modern technology. Talk about when you may be in one another's towns and can try again to get together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend's niece just got arrested for shoplifting. He is so upset about it, and I don't know how to help him.

She has been misbehaving for a long time. She is 15 years old and is always doing crazy things, like staying out all night, smoking drugs and not going to school. She was always kind of bad, but after her grandmother died, she got a lot worse.

What can I do to help him? He keeps asking me for advice. -- Worried, New Orleans, La.

DEAR WORRIED: The best thing this family can do for their troubled teen is to get her mental health support. She should visit a counselor with whom she can talk about her life, the loss of her grandmother and her choices. She needs to have a safe space to be able to talk about what's happening in her life and learn that it's possible for her to decide her fate.

Some parents in these situations also choose to send their children to schools for so-called delinquent teens, where they are immersed in learning discipline. Other families have used the military as a tool to help teach their teens right from wrong. Sometimes the structure is particularly helpful for young people who have behaved recklessly over time.

Most important is for your friend's niece to be able to grieve and heal. She needs to know that she is loved, even though her behavior is unacceptable. Your friend also needs to know that the adults in his family probably cannot handle her challenges on their own. They, too, should seek professional help.