DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my old friends just told me that he has moved to Brazil. He went there for vacation a couple of months ago, but he just can't seem to leave. I am so happy for him. He was not working a full-time gig at the time and figured, why not clear his head? He has asked me to join him for a vacation this summer to check it out and either just hang out, or even consider moving there, too. I am pretty much a chicken. I might consider going for vacation, but I don't want to move out of the country. Do you think it's wise for me to go for a visit, considering that I love my life back at home? What should I tell my friend? -- Need a Vacay, Los Angeles

DEAR NEED A VACAY: Your friend had his life's agenda, as you have your own. You should feel perfectly comfortable getting on a plane and heading to Brazil for some much-needed rest and relaxation. Because your friend knows the lay of the land, he will be able to ensure that you both have a fantastic time.

Go with the intention of seeing the country, its people and all of its beauty. Choose to savor each moment and learn about the dynamic cultural treasures that Brazil has to offer. Feel no pressure to move there. If your friend starts pushing, remind him that his dream is different from yours.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have one child who is very smart. He does well in all of his classes and always has. Now that he's a teenager, though, he is satisfied with decent grades and isn't striving for the best. He says he's doing OK -- A's and B's -- but he can't study more because of sports and his girlfriend, etc. I told him I think he should adjust his priorities. I do want him to have a well-rounded life, but if he really applies himself now, he can probably get a scholarship and a chance at the best colleges out there. He isn't really listening. Do you think I should lighten up, or what? -- Seeing the Future, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR SEEING THE FUTURE: Rather than chastising your teen, which never works anyway, consider talking to him about his future. Talk about his hopes and dreams. Ask him to describe how he sees his life in five or 10 years. Ask him about his passions. Encourage him to dream about his future and be specific about what he sees in it. By helping him to focus on the life he will build for himself, you create space for him to consider how to get there.

Having A's and B's with an active social life, by the way, is pretty good. He may be striking an appropriate balance for his life. You can support him by guiding his thoughts to the life he will soon command.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am interested in creating a partnership with my college and the local business that surrounds my school. I want to create a bridge between the two intuitions to help make future employment for graduating students in the field of their study. I am trying to figure out who to talk to and make this dream of mine come to fruition. I know it is a monumental task, but I believe it is possible. -- Building a Bridge, Manhattan, New York

DEAR BUILDING A BRIDGE: Theoretically, this is a great idea. One way to start is to figure out synergies. What type of employment opportunities does the local business have? Build a relationship with the business so that you are clear about what they would value. See if they would be open for internships as a start, leading to full-time employment. With that information in tow, go to your school administration with your pitch to build this relationship. If you have all of the information organized and available to review, you create the best opportunity for the administration officials to consider the option seriously. Once you pique their interest, suggest that you set up a meeting between the business owner and the school administrator to make the connection. If the meeting goes well, be sure to continue to be part of the process. Perhaps you can be the administrator of the relationship and receive a fee for your good work. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have hired a baby sitter for my son ever since he was born. He is now 6 years old. I never reported this to the IRS because I wrote a check. I didn't pay illegally. Now I have learned that I am supposed to report it. My son's baby sitter is upset because it means she will have less take-home pay, but I don't want to have a problem with the government. What should I do? -- Paying Taxes, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR PAYING TAXES: It is true that your baby sitter should be paying income taxes on the money she earns while taking care of your son. Let her know that you want to abide by the law. If you have the resources and are able to give her additional income to lessen the blow of paying part of her salary to taxes, by all means do so. Consider whatever bonus you normally give her as going toward taxes as you consider your options. Give the baby sitter the choice of agreeing to pay taxes. If she refuses, let her know that you will need to look for another person to care for your child.

While this may seem extremely difficult for both of you and for your son, it is the right thing to do. You do not want to get into a legal challenge with the IRS. You will lose.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has a history of hypertension and high blood pressure. I recently went to the doctor for my annual checkup, and she was pleased with my overall physical health; however, she told me that my blood pressure was a bit high for her liking. My doctor told me that I would need to add an exercise regimen to help reduce my blood pressure. How do I fit an exercise regimen into an already busy schedule? -- Releasing the Pressure, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR RELEASING THE PRESSURE: Health challenges such as yours present the requirement of a lifestyle change in order for you to stay healthy -- or even alive. Yes, this may seem daunting, but it is true. High blood pressure is called "the silent killer" because it commonly has minimal side effects, yet it can and has caused strokes in thousands of unknowing victims. Doctors do suggest that exercise, healthy eating and weight loss can significantly reduce or even eliminate high blood pressure -- in some people. Even if high blood pressure doesn't go away, these things are good for you.

Will it be hard to add daily movement into a tight schedule that did not previously include physical activity? Sure. You have to decide that your life is worth it. Once you do, get support by joining a walking group, a gym, Weight Watchers or some other group activity that will keep you honest about your developing routine. Reduce your sodium intake, cut out the alcohol, shy away from fatty foods and put the kibosh on stress. Easier said than done, I know, but if you put yourself first, you create a chance to live the life you envision for yourself. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend called me to tell me about his long-distance "girlfriend" -- I say that loosely because he has seen her only once. He told his phone friend that he is seeing someone in the same city he lives in, and she was not pleased with my man's confession. She insisted that he dissolve our relationship immediately, but I am so happy that he did not listen to her. Going forward, how can we continue to reinforce our relationship? I like what we have together. -- Budding Relationship, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR BUDDING RELATIONSHIP: It's a good sign that your boyfriend told you about his phone relationship. Find out more from him about what this woman means to him and whether he intends to stay in touch with her. Express to him how much you are enjoying the time you are spending together. Make it clear to him that you want to see how your relationship blossoms and that you are excited about the possibilities. Add that you do not want to be in the middle of another relationship. Ask him directly if he is finished with this woman and if he chooses to be with you. Yes, that can seem pushy, but you deserve to know. If he's got unresolved issues to handle with her, you can step back until he is available to be with you.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)