DEAR HARRIETTE: My home has a mouse problem, so I set out glue traps to capture them. I heard that a mouse was trapped in the night, but forgot about it come morning. My preteen daughter, who has just taken a huge interest in animal rights, opened the drawer and saw the mouse. She was horrified and told me I was a monster for setting out the traps and waiting for the mice to starve to death. I feel bad, but I cannot have mice running rampant in the house. My daughter is upset with me, but I feel like there isn't another alternative for these vermin. -- Little Animal Advocate, Dallas

DEAR LITTLE ANIMAL ADVOCATE: This may be the perfect time for the two of you to do some research into animals. Of course, it makes sense that you should be kind to animals and respect them. At the same time, everyone -- human and animal alike -- must stake out his or her territory. In the natural cycle of life, animals mark their turf, and when others invade it or cross the line in one way or another, they have to pay. This sometimes can cost the creature's life.

You have the right to keep your home free from vermin and therefore safe for humans to inhabit. You also have a choice in terms of the means of eliminating pests. Glue traps do lead to slow deaths. The more traditional snap traps immediately kill the animals and are also reusable. Your daughter may be more affected by seeing a mouse with a broken neck, though. Another option is to get a cat. Typically, homes with cats rarely have mice or rats because the cats kill the vermin. Once the feline smell is detected, vermin choose other locations to call home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: While I was baby-sitting for a new family, the children told me that their mother doesn't let them eat much and forces them to exercise. It is obvious that the children are overweight, but I am not sure if the mother is acting on professional medical advice or her own beliefs on how children should look. The children complain about hunger because they don't want to eat "Mommy's gross food."

I have been on the fence about mentioning this information to the parents because they might feel I am overstepping my boundaries. I don't think they neglect their children; I just know I was chubby as a child and grew out of it naturally. I don't think it's necessary to force children into diets. -- Mom's the Personal Trainer, Toledo, Ohio

DEAR MOM'S THE PERSONAL TRAINER: One way to address this with the mother is to ask for advice on how to support the children's healthy living initiative that the mother has started. Inform her that the children have told you about the exercise routines and eating changes and admit that they are not enthusiastic about it. Ask if you can help to encourage them to adopt healthier habits.

Without advocating for a diet, you may be able to partner with the mother to encourage the children to move more and eat more healthfully. If they can see it as fun, they may begin to appreciate it.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is football season again, and I am about to lose my husband for about seven months because he watches football games five nights a week. This is a tough time for me; I am not big fan of the sport, and we got into huge arguments last year because I tried to schedule family events during the season. I do not want to relive last year's drama. As a non-fan of football, how do I pry my husband away from the television long enough to spend quality time with his wife? -- Not a Football Fan, Birmingham, Alabama

DEAR NOT A FOOTBALL FAN: Stop fighting with your husband over behavior that you know to be part of his M.O. Why? Because you will be fighting a losing battle. Instead, make an agreement with your husband that you will do something together on one or both of his free nights. I suggest one night because otherwise he will be tired and grumpy. Your date can be anything from being together at home with the TV off to going out with friends. If you are able to plan something easy and fun, you may find that you both will look forward to that during football season.

Additionally, you should schedule an activity for yourself during his busy nights. Is there a class you would like to take? A hobby that you never found time to pursue? Football season can become your season of exploration if you use the time wisely!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suffer from depression. I set unrealistic goals for myself, and when they are not met, I beat myself up. I know this is not a good pattern to follow. How do I set realistic goals to help prevent future lapses of unhappiness? -- Trying to Keep a Smile on My Face, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR TRYING TO KEEP A SMILE ON MY FACE: I caution you to be mindful of claiming depression unless you are sure that's what it is. What you know for sure is that you battle with managing your expectations and living with the aftermath of reaching too high.

One way to work on setting realistic goals is to write things down in an order. Start with the big dreams -- the ones that are the most epic. Then break those dreams down into manageable parts. Do your best to envision what the steps are that can lead to fulfilling each goal. Break it down until you have identified a timeline that leads to completion dates.

Begin to check off your list one item at a time. Over time, you will get closer to your big goals if you stay focused. What's more, you will be able to enjoy the journey better because you can celebrate little victories all along the way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I referred a former employee of mine to do a special project for a friend -- shooting her wedding photos -- because I thought he would do a good job for the low budget that she had to offer. (I had already referred others who were not interested because the budget was low.) They met and hit it off, and everything seemed to be going OK, but now things have gone south.

My employee completed that job, but the pictures have yet to be delivered -- many months later. My friend has contacted me multiple times, distraught because she can't seem to get her pictures. Since I referred the photographer, she is hoping I can help. I have spoken to him several times, but due to a series of strange circumstances, so far he has not delivered. I am fuming. My reputation is on the line, and I haven't a clue what to do. -- SOS, Bowie, Maryland

DEAR SOS: This is a mess, but it's not your problem. Because you referred the photographer, it is kind and appropriate for you to speak to him sternly about honoring his commitment. You can point out that your reputation hangs in the balance because he has shrugged off his duties. But since he isn't responsive, guilting him will go only so far. Do your best to find out what is going on with him. If you know him to be a responsible person normally, something is off. Figure out what it is, and tell him that you need him to come clean with his client and let them know a timetable for fulfilling his duties.

You can let your friend know whatever you have learned. Then, ultimately, if he still does not come through, you may want to recommend that your friend sue him. Depending upon the amount of his fee, they may be able to handle this in small claims court. In the future, if a job seems too small to give to a professional, say as much. Most importantly, don't get entangled in getting somebody cheap to fill the position.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been oppressively hot this summer, and I am having a hard time managing the weather. I live in a five-story walk-up, and I have no air conditioning. I invited friends to come over, but I called to suggest that we get together at another time because it was just too hot to have company. One of my friends got really mad at me and suggested that I was being a bad host. I was sitting in my apartment in my underwear, sweating like crazy when I got her note. I wanted to scream and curse her out on text. I restrained myself. What should I say to her? -- Hot Bad Host, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR HOT BAD HOST: You can leave it alone entirely and let your friend dream up reasons to be mad at you. If you must, you can apologize once more for inconveniencing your friends and jokingly suggest that if they still want to come to a party at your house during the heat wave, the dress code is undies only!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)