DEAR HARRIETTE: Two years ago, I met an older woman in my town’s deli. She was eating alone and having trouble reading the check, so I went over to help her. We got to talking and became close friends. Ever since that day we meet up once a month for lunch. She is very old and needs help walking. She rarely gets out because she is afraid she will fall, so I like to take her out from time to time. I think she is great company, and I love listening to her fascinating stories.

My girlfriend finds the elderly woman rude and does not like that I spend time with her. I enjoy going to these monthly lunches, but I can see how it is a little odd. Do you think it’s normal, and should I continue my friendship with this woman? -- Friends With an Elderly Woman, San Jose, California

DEAR FRIENDS WITH AN ELDERLY WOMAN: I think it is wonderful that you are spending quality time with this woman. Too often, when people grow old, they do not have family or friends around to keep them company. It is admirable that you noticed this woman and struck up a friendship with her.

In terms of managing your girlfriend, tell her you are sorry that she and your elderly friend do not click. Stop inviting her to join you during your dates. Do not lie, though. Just make it clear that you enjoy supporting this woman, and you realize that she has come to rely on you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a newish mother; my only daughter is just about to turn 2 years old. She is such a sweet girl, and everything is going great with her health, growth, etc. I don’t want to come off as a vain mother who cares only about looks, but I am having concerns about her ears! I know this may sound silly, but her ears seem to stick out more than normal, and they are becoming more defined as she grows. My husband and I have spoken about getting surgery to correct them and have them pinned back, but we are getting mixed responses about whether this is the right thing to do.

Should I let my daughter grow up and decide for herself, or make this decision for her because I think it is what’s best for her? -- My Daughter Has Big Ears, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR MY DAUGHTER HAS BIG EARS: Have you talked to your daughter’s pediatrician about this? It is true that people sometimes elect to have surgery like this to enhance a child’s appearance from an early age. I’m not a big believer in elective surgery, especially for cosmetic reasons for a child. That said, get your doctor’s recommendation. Be sure to learn the pros and cons of the surgery before you take action.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have been married for over 15 years. They met in medical school. (My father is a surgeon, and my mother was a nurse.) There is a big age gap between them, as my father is 10 years older than my mother.

Growing up, I never noticed the age different, but as we all get older, I can see how such a huge age gap affects their relationship. My father is very traditional in the sense that he doesn’t bother with new trends in the world or updating his lifestyle. On the other hand, my mother is more up-to-date with technology and knows more about the way the world works nowadays. Yesterday, they had a huge argument about getting a new car. My father wants to keep the car our family has now, but my mother wants an updated, safer car. Is there a way I can help my parents solve this dispute? What is your take on martial age gaps? -- Parents' Age Gap, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR PARENTS’ AGE GAP: It may be that the issue here is the age difference. It may also be that your father prefers to be in the role of decision-maker and doesn’t appreciate your mother’s pushback. Strategy may be useful here. Perhaps your mother can invite your father to go for a test drive of cars that she finds interesting. She can pose it as a fun activity that does not need to involve buying a car. She should ask him to humor her by going along for the ride -- literally. Exposing him to the new technology firsthand may open his eyes to what is available on the market and how much it costs. If your mother is able to give him this experience, they may be able to move past the rigidity that is currently standing in their way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a pretty busy person. I have a full-time job and a full social calendar, and I love spending the free time I do have just relaxing. My friend recently brought up the idea of joining a book club with him. I love to read and find that it relaxes me when I’m stressed, so my initial reaction was to say yes. When I went home after accepting the offer, I started to doubt my decision. I read when I feel like it, not when I’m told to. I’m afraid that being part of this book group with make me feel obligated to finish the book on a timeline, which I’m not sure I’ll like. Have you had any experience with book groups? Does being in one ruin the relaxing experience of reading? -- Book Club Newbie, Akron, Ohio

DEAR BOOK CLUB NEWBIE: Many people enjoy book clubs because they create the opportunity for a social experience designed around a particular topic. If you like talking about the storyline, plot, character development and other aspects of books, you may enjoy this type of engagement. These clubs work best when the size of the group is manageable -- no more than a dozen or so participants. They tend to meet once a month or even once a quarter. Yes, the discussion can veer toward the social, but the books do get discussed. You should try it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old woman currently searching for a job. I have reached out to a family friend who has set up a meeting with someone who works in my desired industry. The meeting is scheduled for the end of this week.

What should I wear to the meeting? Because I am not going on an interview with this person -- it’s just a general meeting about working in the industry -- does it mean I don’t need to wear formal interview attire? Could I go in business casual as opposed to business dress? I am more comfortable in business casual, but wanted to know your opinion on what to wear in this type of meeting. -- What to Wear?, Trenton, New Jersey

DEAR WHAT TO WEAR?: Go to the meeting as if you are going to a job interview. That means your attire should be appropriate to the role you want. Do you know how people typically dress in this industry? Ideally, you should dress in a manner reflective of the role and in sync with what the person you’re meeting with may be wearing. It is always safe for you to dress professionally. A step up from business casual would be wise. Wear a jacket and dress shoes. No jeans. Nothing too trendy. Make sure your hair is styled conservatively and your makeup is subtle. You want the person to see and hear you and not be distracted by how you present yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am part of a parent group in my town. The group comprises 15 to 20 mothers who meet once a month to discuss issues that have arisen in our children’s lives. Some of the common topics we talk about include house parties, underage drinking and low grades. Recently, some of the mothers in the group have used the meeting time as more of a gossip session. Instead of discussing our kids, they use to it talk about their tennis drama, or where the best chopped salad is. I’m getting sick of going to the meetings and dread when the time comes each month. Should I continue going if I don’t see them as beneficial? Is there something else I can do to change how the meetings go? -- Leaving the Parenting Group, Syracuse, New York

DEAR LEAVING THE PARENTING GROUP: Before you take your leave, ask the group if you can have the floor for a moment. Remind them of the reasons why the group was formed. Tell them that you, for one, are still having issues with your children’s behavior and would greatly appreciate their input on some of the things that plague kids today. Point out that it seems that the conversation topics have shifted to other things. While you respect that personal issues of the moms may be important, you are lobbying for the focus to go back to the children. Your plea will at least get the mothers to thinking about why they started to gather in the first place.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)