DEAR HARRIETTE: I hear all this talk about the economy improving, but honestly, my friends and I are not doing much better than a year or so back. It is tough. I feel like we got left behind or something. Or maybe it’s only talk about the major improvements in the economy.

I feel like a failure. I work hard and am always willing to work long hours, but it doesn’t seem to matter. After several years, I now earn less than I used to, not more. How can I keep my spirits up when I am feeling so down about money? It doesn’t help that my friends and I are in the same boat. We are all basically living from hand to mouth. Who knows if any of us will ever be able to retire? I feel like an idiot. I’m not asking you to help me find a better job. Instead, I want to understand how to feel about my station in life. Right now, I just feel worthless. -- Down and Out

DEAR DOWN AND OUT: As you can tell from your friends, you are not alone in not experiencing the bounty that some news reports suggest America is enjoying. It really depends on the industry that you work in whether you would benefit from the changing economy.

That said, you are where you are. Many people’s income decreases as they get older. That’s why it’s wise to save in your early years. If you weren’t able to do that, what you need to figure out today is how you can live on less and save whatever you can for your retirement. Do your best to accept where you are and then to get creative about how you can earn more money. Draw up a budget that helps you to understand exactly what you earn and what your expenses are. Determine how much money you want to save in the next three to five years, then map out a strategy for doing so. You may want to talk to a financial planner to help you. Even on a modest budget, it is possible to set yourself up for your later years. Instead of feeling worthless, claim your value and map out a way to get to your goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to celebrate a big birthday, and I am planning to have a party. I have spent some time thinking about it and contacting vendors to set things up. I am going for it, even though it is expensive. I can afford it at this point in my life. The issue is that some people are talking about me, saying that I’m being extravagant. I want to have my party, but I hate these rumors and comments. I feel like I deserve to have a good time for this turning point in my life. How can I get people to realize that this party is something I can afford and want to do, but I don’t want to hear their comments about it? -- Party On

DEAR PARTY ON: Do not indulge the naysayers. Create a guest list of people who genuinely support you. Invite them only. Let people say what they will about your party. Most important is for you and your guests to enjoy yourselves.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I thought I was lucky when I met my girlfriend. We both work in the same field and are super-dedicated to our jobs. We are at the beginning of our careers, and we are both all-in on the hustle of making things work. This was great at first. Then I got a couple of gigs where I got some shine and some dollars. When I called to tell my girlfriend about it, she got her back up. She said she was proud of me, but I could tell she was jealous. Instead of asking me about what happened and how I got the gig, she started talking about something that she was working on. It was weird.

I’m a little older than my girlfriend, so I have a couple of years more time working. It’s probably just me working longer than got me a gig first. Who knows? What I don’t understand is why she wouldn’t be happy for me. This has happened more than once, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. When I ask her to be happy for me, she says I’m overreacting. How can I get her to lay off the jealous behavior? -- Jealous Girlfriend

DEAR JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND: Jealousy is extremely difficult to manage, mainly because it requires the one who is jealous to neutralize their feelings. There’s little that you can do to make things better. What you can try to do is to encourage your girlfriend by consistently celebrating the small steps that help to get her to her goals. She will probably like that.

This may not change how she feels about you and your successes. You deserve a girlfriend who wants you to fulfill your dreams as she works to fulfill hers. Pay attention to how things evolve. If she continues to exhibit jealous behavior, she is not the woman for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter told me something revealing about a couple of her friends at school. We have an excellent rapport, which is why she shared this with me. A week later, I was at a party with a group of friends, and, after a few drinks, I told one of the moms what my daughter had told me. I didn’t mean to share what turned out to be confidential information, but I did it, and now all hell has broken loose. It’s my fault. I apologized to my daughter for talking about something that she shared with me privately, but I feel horrible. I don’t want to lose my daughter’s trust. What can I do? -- Broken Confidence

DEAR BROKEN CONFIDENCE: Promise your daughter that you will never betray her trust again -- unless it is a life-or-death situation. The "life-or-death" caveat is important because you are still the parent. If a revelation is unsafe, you may need to address it. But generally, let your daughter know that you will agree to keep information private between you. This is the only way to get her to continue talking to you about her feelings and friend dynamics. It may take time for her to tell you more secrets. You need to be patient.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in our late 50s, and we are working hard to get fit. My husband is much further along, as he is way more disciplined than I am. But we are both working on it.

I am beginning to feel defeated, mostly because I am not disciplined enough. But also, my husband has lost about 20 pounds and a bunch of inches, while I think I have gained. How can I maintain enthusiasm when I am feeling like a failure? -- Weight Loss

DEAR WEIGHT LOSS: Don’t measure yourself against your husband. If you can, find a buddy with whom you can work out, someone who is less threatening than your husband. What you need is motivation to keep moving your body and making smart choices.

Suggest to your husband that you work together to create meals that are low-calorie and healthy. You can work together and on your own or with a buddy. If you make smart choices consistently, it will lead you to better health. Do your best to stop competing with your husband. Men tend to lose weight faster than women. Let him be an inspiration to you, rather than an unpleasant competition. Consider that you are in this life together to be your best. Right now, you both have the same goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I graduated from college a few years ago, and I haven’t figured out what to do with my life. I have dreams, but nothing has worked out yet. My parents want me to join the family business, but I’m not really interested in it. I recognize it would be a tremendous head start in that field. I would get a lot more accomplished in a shorter amount of time because they’ve already paved the way and made all of the connections. I’m thinking about doing that for a little while and then hiring people to run it; after that, I'll spin off to do what I really want to do. What do you think about my plan? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: It sounds like your parents are throwing you a lifeline. You should seriously consider taking it, but you must keep in mind that you have to take it seriously. They have worked hard to build a business. If you go into it, you have to be fully devoted to getting it to the next level. It cannot be just a stopgap until you figure out what’s next.

It’s OK to not stay in the business forever. In order to do so, though, you should figure out a strategic plan that sets the business on course for prolonged success, where you identify leaders to take over when the time is right. You must keep your parents informed along the way. They should know your intentions before you take over. If they are willing to support your plan, then you can go in with honesty and integrity. But you must give your all to the family business while you are in it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)