DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, who is in the seventh grade, says she wants to get a nose stud. A couple of her friends at school have gotten their noses pierced, and she wants to do it too. I am completely against this. She is too young, in my estimation, to make a decision that could affect her livelihood. I can say no, but I want her to understand that I don’t think this is a smart idea at this point in her life. What can I say? -- No Nose Piercing

DEAR NO NOSE PIERCING: Your ongoing job as a parent is to teach your child the values that you hold dear. This includes regularly talking about what is important to you and why. Cause and effect figure prominently in this dialogue. When you do X, it could mean Y. In the case of a nose piercing, ask her what the implications of that might be on her life down the line. Talk to her about her hopes and dreams. Have her think about people who have jobs that she considers interesting and consider how those people present themselves. Helping her to develop a vision for her future based on what she is learning should help her to see that a nose piercing could be limiting.

In a job interview, a pierced nose will be noticeable and potentially off-putting for many professional pursuits. Let her know that when she becomes an adult, at age 18, she will have the right to make this choice if she likes. Hopefully by then she will have enough tools and insights to make an informed decision. Right now is too early.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am looking for a job right now, and it has been tough. I am a college graduate with the credentials to be able to get some kind of a job -- or so I thought. But it’s been tough finding anything. I get pretty nervous, and what has been happening at job interviews is that I sweat a lot. It comes through my blouse sometimes, and it looks awful. What can I do to gain more confidence when I’m interviewing? And is there anything I can do about all of the sweating? -- Sweaty Interviewee

DEAR SWEATY INTERVIEWEE: Even though statistics say that the United States is adding more jobs each month, many people are not feeling that sense of abundance of opportunity as they look for work. Be persistent, creative and patient. The more confident you feel about yourself and your abilities, the better able you will be able to master an interview. For starters, think creatively about each position before you go to an interview. What unique qualities and interests do you bring that the employer might want or need? Be ready to talk about that. Your uniqueness matched to their needs is a recipe for success.

Regarding the sweating, go to the drug store and invest in dress shields. They are like sanitary pads that go in the armpits of your blouse. Men can use them in their shirts as well! They absorb perspiration and help you look calm and collected. Also, avoid coffee or any hot drinks before an interview. Drink cool water and do some deep breathing before you walk in the door. Use a handkerchief to wipe your hands dry, too. A dry, firm handshake is a sign of a confident interviewee.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a neighborhood friend who visits his mother for three months at the beginning of the year. He is a nice guy, and we look out for each other. For the past couple of years, he has asked me to gather his mail and send it to him at the end of each week. I did it at first, but now I realize that this is a big responsibility. I don’t want to let him down, but it is too much for me to handle -- at least responsibly. My life got a lot busier with my own issues, and I have forgotten to send out his mail several times. I know that’s not right. What can I do? I don’t want to disappoint my friend. -- Not a Mailman

DEAR NOT A MAILMAN: Guess what? There is an easy and efficient solution here. Your friend can get the postal service to forward his mail to him directly for a specific period of time. It is extremely easy to do, and your friend can even handle it online. For a fee of $1, he can have his mail held, packaged and sent to his temporary location. He can have the mail redirected when he returns. The USPS will also bundle the mailing in an organized once-per-week shipment through Priority Mail, though the fee for that is higher.

Contact your friend and let him know the situation. As much as you want to help, you have not been able to be as reliable as in the past. Recommend that he use the Postal Service to deal with his mail, as it has a system in place for this need. For more information, go to: usps.com/manage/forward.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is into porn, big-time. I knew this back when we were dating, and occasionally he would want to watch porn movies while we were making love, but that ended years ago -- or so I thought. We have been married 15 years, and this hasn’t come up at all for more than 10 of them. I honestly thought this phase was over. That was until I caught him the other night watching something that was extremely raw. I suppose the good news is that he didn’t try to get me to join in, but it was disgusting. How can I get him to stop? -- No More Porn

DEAR NO MORE PORN: The pornography industry is huge for a reason: Many people engage it. Because it is so easy to access these days, many people view it in the privacy of their own homes.

You cannot necessarily get your husband to stop watching porn. You already know that you cannot control him. Tell him that it disturbed you to see that he was still watching it, and ask him to be more discreet. You can even ask him to stop viewing it, but don’t count on him following your recommendation. As long as his private viewing does not impact you personally or your family, you may need to let it go. One caution you may want to give him is to ensure that he does not use that same computer at work, as his browsing history can be viewed and possibly held against him. Also, if you have children, he must make sure that no pornographic sites are stored in the computer’s cache that they could accidentally stumble upon.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a big mistake on the job, and I am not sure what to do about it. I know what happened and why, and it was definitely my fault. The thing is, if I tell anybody, I am probably going to lose my job. I don’t think that an apology will be enough. My mistake cost my company money and probably damaged their reputation a bit, too. I feel horrible about it. But since nobody knows that I did it, I feel like if I just stay under the radar and make sure nothing bad ever happens again, I could get a pass. I know I will never make a stupid mistake like this again. Do you think it’s OK to stay under the radar? Or do I need to confess to my boss what I did? -- Do I Reveal?

DEAR DO I REVEAL?: There’s an old saying that the truth will always be revealed. The question in your case is whether you get in front of it, own up to your mistakes and admit what happened, or if you wait, with trepidation, for the moment that it is discovered. I vote for being upfront about the situation. Even if you lose your job, it is better to be honest. But you may be able to save your job by being proactive and letting your bosses know exactly what happened, your role in it and how sorry you are. You can ask for forgiveness and promise to help the company rebuild.

On the flip side, if you say nothing, even if you last in that job, your mistake will weigh on you. Keeping secrets is not healthy for your spirit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a lovely note from a young woman I had mentored early in her career. I like her so much and had intended to stay in touch, but life got in the way. Her note brought everything back home about how close we had gotten and how fond I am of her. Being back in touch with her reminded me of how much I would like to keep her closer in my life. She is about to get married, and I would like to be there for that part of her life, too. Should I tell her? We love each other. I think she will be happy. -- Reconnecting

DEAR RECONNECTING: Given that this woman reached out to you, you know for sure that she is thinking about you. That’s wonderful. Here is your second chance at cultivating a closer bond. Tell her how much you would like to meet the person she will soon marry. Invite them to dinner so that you can get to know him and get to know her better as the woman she is blossoming into.

Take it slow. She is building a new life and is likely busy. You can call, email or text with her and occasionally try to see her. Do not ask for a wedding invitation. That is often a tricky subject. Instead, just be happy to rekindle your bond and see where it leads.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)