DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a freelance contractor. Recently, a friend invited me to have lunch with her to talk about a project. I gave her a few of my ideas with the intention of getting her to hire me to work with her. That’s what she said to me, after all.

Now I realize that she has to get her boss to agree to anything that she does. I have met her boss before, and we got along fine, but that was years ago. I don’t know if her boss will want me or not. I am not a celebrity, but I do have a good networking list. Should I reach out to her boss to remind her of me, or just leave it to chance? -- Hiring Politics

DEAR HIRING POLITICS: You should not overstep your bounds with your friend to speak to her boss. That could easily backfire on you. Instead, make sure that your friend has all the information needed to present you as a perfect contractor for this project. If you have additional ideas that can fortify her presentation to her boss, both about you specifically and about the work at hand, follow up with a good-luck note along with a few additional ideas. But the ball is in your friend’s court now.

Hopefully she will be able to sell the idea with you in it satisfactorily to her boss. Do know that there is always a gamble when you release your creative ideas out to the world -- and that’s OK. Sometimes your generosity with your creativity brings you work, but that is not always the case. You still must keep on trying and trust that you have more creative ideas where the others came from. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had false teeth for about a decade. The other day at work, my bridge broke in my hand. This has happened in the past, but I was always able to glue it back together. I have crazy glue, and it really works. This time, though, the teeth won’t stick together. I know this sounds nuts, but it’s how I can keep my teeth looking right. Now I have to go to the dentist, and I really can’t afford it. What should I do? -- Tooth Repair

DEAR TOOTH REPAIR: Call your dentist and explain your dilemma. Ask for a payment plan to fix your dentures. Be frank about your situation and honest about how much you can pay in order to fix your problem. I can’t imagine that it is smart for you to put crazy glue on your teeth and then put that in your mouth. Who knows what chemicals you are ingesting?

Figure out what you can cut back on in your life so that you can pay the fees for fixing your dentures. Look into teaching hospitals as an alternative source of medical help. Those programs often offer deep discounts for dental services because the students are learning.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was growing up, my parents never had enough money to buy gifts for us kids. We were a family of seven, and money did not stretch that far. So every year at Christmas, my mother would bake a cake or make something else for us to eat that everybody could share.

I have not been able to get past what happened to me as a child in order to be there for my children. I have two kids, and my husband and I have good jobs. We can afford to give them multiple gifts -- not extravagant, but something. Still, I can’t seem to get there. I find it so hard to shop for them because I get lost in thoughts of my past. What can I do to break through? -- Frozen

DEAR FROZEN: Why not bake a cake with your kids to celebrate the holidays? You can make that a tradition in a way that honors what your mother was able to do for you.

The next step can be to establish a new tradition. You can ask your children what they most want for Christmas. Let them suggest several items with the understanding that you would like to get them something special. There can be some surprise in the final outcome if you do not tell them what you are choosing. Once you have their lists, you can review them to see if you feel comfortable getting them each of the items they have listed, or if you will choose only one or two. Do your best to give your children the same number of items so that they don’t mistakenly read anything in to the gifts they receive when they make comparisons.

Beyond that, you may want to consider a bit of therapy. You are holding on to some strong memories and experiences from your childhood. A professional may be able to help you unlock some of those old feelings and release them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work independently, so I am accustomed to hustling to get people to pay attention to me. I feel like I’m constantly pitching myself and my ideas. I am also actively following up on everything all the time. That’s what I was taught when I had a job as a producer, but now I’m running into some roadblocks. I have noticed that people aren’t answering my calls the way they used to. I think some people are avoiding me, and that’s a terrible feeling.

My approach has always been to make it easier for people to respond to me by following up about three days after my initial call. That way they don’t have to dig through their emails or phone messages to remember to call me. One client just told me that I am too pushy. She even called me a stalker. That doesn’t seem fair. I consider myself efficient and responsive. What am I doing wrong? -- Unwitting Stalker

DEAR UNWITTING STALKER: Your follow-up methods don’t seem to be working right now, so it’s time to regroup. Following up after three days does seem aggressive -- unless you are facing a tight deadline. A week is a more normal follow-up interval. Also, an email or a text may be a better way to check in, as neither requires you to talk to the person. That way you aren’t interrupting them when they are busy.

Take a moment to reassess your goals and your strategy for reaching out. Getting quiet and still as you contemplate this may help you to discover a softer way of reaching back to potential clients.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I like to wear high-heeled shoes, mainly because I am pretty short. If I wear heels, I feel like I am at least getting up to near where other girls are. I like that aspect, but sometimes my feet hurt like crazy. When my friends are chilling in sneakers, I almost always have on heels. It’s not fair. What can I do to feel good about myself and not have my feet hurt constantly? -- No More Heels

DEAR NO MORE HEELS: You have to accept yourself the way you are. Putting on high heels does not make you as tall as your taller friends. While it may give you confidence, it’s not real or practical in certain circumstances. Of course, you should be able to have your sneakers on whenever you want to!

Let me tell you a story. I am tall -- 5 feet, 9 inches. My grandmother, whom I adored, was a whole foot shorter than I am, at 4 feet, 9 inches. It was never an issue in our family, and to my knowledge, in her life. She was generally the shortest person around, but she had a big presence, and people took her seriously and gave her space. She accepted her physical stature, but she did not let it negatively affect how she moved through space. That was true for other challenges in her life as well. She grew up during Jim Crow and had to face many indignities of racism. She handled those with grace as well.

It may be worth it for you to look at the big picture of your life. What is important to you? What are some of your biggest challenges? Where are you most confident? Most insecure? Evaluate whether you should give as much attention as you do now to your stature. Chances are, your physical size is not as important as other issues in your life. When you can make mental adjustments based on your physical reality, your quality of life can improve. Make sneakers your friends -- even if you get some with a bit of a platform -- and focus on what really matters in your life!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a shopper, and I love finding a good sale. A woman complimented me on my new glasses the other day, and my knee-jerk response was to tell her where I had bought the glasses on sale. A friend of mine was in earshot, and she told me that I should just say who the designer of the glasses is, not where I bought them or at what price. She said if the person had asked me where I got them, that would have been one thing, but she heard the person and that wasn’t the question. Do you think I should point out a sale even if it isn’t asked about? -- Discount Shopping

DEAR DISCOUNT SHOPPING: Your friend is right. When you receive a compliment, you can genuinely accept it and let that be enough. If asked who makes your glasses, or whatever other item is being acknowledged, you can name the maker. Often that is enough, especially because people shop in lots of places. Save the details for the super-curious.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)