DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going on vacation at Christmastime this year. I usually go to visit my family, but my mother passed away a few months ago, and there is no family home to visit. I feel a bit lost right now, given that both of my parents are gone, which is why I scheduled this trip. It’s a cruise, and I’m going by myself. I am an only child, and I don’t have close friends. My co-workers told me that I am running away. They think I should stay in town and hang out with them. While that is very nice of them to offer, we are not that close. I think going to warm weather will make me happier. I can’t bear to be in my hometown, missing my mom. Do you think I’m making a mistake? -- Solo Trip

DEAR SOLO TRIP: First, my sincere condolences on the passing of your mother. I have witnessed many of my friends lose their mothers, and it is often devastating. It takes time to heal from that tremendous void in your life.

I think it’s fine for you to go on a cruise. You will be in a place with a built-in community of people and endless activities. Plus, you will likely be able to deboard and visit new ports of call. Just remember to be mindful of your surroundings in the same way you always should be when you are by yourself in a new locale. Keep your eyes open to see if you meet anyone who may become a friend during your trip. This is a perfect opportunity to strike up a rapport with other people who are on the cruise.

Beyond your trip, though, you need to come to terms with your new season of life -- one without your parents. It may help you to get grief counseling. You can find that through your house of worship, your insurance company, even a funeral home. You deserve to have whatever support you need to tend to your healing heart. Make sure you get it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m going to visit my boyfriend’s family in the Dominican Republic for the first time. He comes from a huge family. I want to impress them and also include everyone. I want to bring gifts, but I have no idea what to bring that I can share with more than 20 people. My boyfriend says I should just go. They can’t wait to meet me, but I want to do something special for them. Oh -- I am on a budget. -- The Right Gift

DEAR THE RIGHT GIFT: Why not make gifts for them? You can bake holiday cookies that you decorate, and store them in tins. Dry goods are allowed to go through customs, and cookies go far. If you are not a baker, you can cheat and buy cookies or other sweets that you can share with everyone. Get a count of family members, and consult your boyfriend about what types of sweets his family would appreciate most.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 8-year-old son was invited to go skiing with some of his friends from school during winter break. This sounds like a lot of fun -- and scary. My son has never skied before. I’m nervous that his friends, who have been skiing since they were 5, will abandon him.

I want to give my son this opportunity. I have a friendly relationship with his friend’s parents. I can reach out to them to learn more about the trip, but I don’t know how much these adults can protect him physically or emotionally. How should I handle it? -- Novice Skier

DEAR NOVICE SKIER: You definitely should contact the boy’s parents to learn more about the trip and to describe your son’s abilities. Let them know that you want your son to be able to join the fun, but you have some reservations about whether he will fit in as the one boy who hasn’t skied before. Ask for their insights.

Your son will have to take lessons on the bunny slopes first in order to learn the basics of skiing. He should not be allowed to go on slopes that would be too hard or dangerous for him to manage. There will surely be other people on the bunny slopes. It would be great if the others go with him in the beginning. Find out from the parents if they believe the others will look out for your son. If they think he will be OK, let him try it out. There may be some awkward moments, but chances are, the fun will outweigh the discomfort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two adult children, and one still lives at home. He went away to college, but hasn’t gotten on his feet yet. He hasn’t found a job of any kind for the past two years. When my wife and I point out to him that he should try to get any type of job if he is unable to find what he went to school for, he says that menial work is below him. I had a job at 15 years old. I know he can find something, but he just bums around at home, sad and dejected. How can I get him motivated? -- Up and Out

DEAR UP AND OUT: Give your son an ultimatum, which should provide him with momentum. Tell him he has to pay rent in order to live at home. He would have to pay rent anywhere else he might live. (You can save the rent to give back to him when he gets on his feet, if you like, but don’t tell him.) Help him to create a schedule that includes making a certain number of overtures each day to look for a job.

Coach him on work. Remind him that while he is searching for the perfect job, he must find something. He should look to see if there are any last-minute holiday jobs available in your town. Retailers and delivery services usually ramp up during this time of year. If he balks at that, point out that it will get him out there as it also puts a few dollars in his pocket. He needs to work at something in order to keep his confidence up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A note was posted on my apartment door informing the tenants that one of the long-time handymen in the building is ill and won’t be coming back. The person who posted this notice asked if we, the tenants, would make a donation to help him during his time of need.

I feel sorry for this man, but I never had much interaction with him. I would see him in the morning sometimes when he was collecting the trash or sweeping the hallways. He doesn’t speak English, so we didn’t ever say more than “good morning” or “thank you.” Should I make a donation even though I hardly spoke to the man? -- Helping Hand

DEAR HELPING HAND: In a word -- YES! You might be amazed to learn how much this man has done to create comfort for you quietly, behind the scenes.

Too often, handymen, porters, concierges, front desk attendants and other support staff are overlooked. (The holiday season is the one time when tips are expected.) But they rarely make high wages, so the contributions that you and the other tenants make will likely go far to help this man during his time of need. Give generously as soon as you can! Add a card expressing your wishes for his improved health.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends loves the outdoors and the cold. I love the heat and the beach. Now that the winter weather is here, I don’t spend too much time outside.

We sometimes walk together in the park for exercise, and my friend has invited me to walk with her for the next week or so, when the weather forecast predicts 30 degrees or below. She considers this mild. I consider it prime weather to trigger an asthma attack. I hate to bring up my health issues, but I don’t want to risk an uncontrollable coughing fit in order to accommodate her request. How should I handle this? I know she thinks I’m a wuss when I turn down certain exercise activities, but this one doesn’t sound smart for me. -- Block the Cold

DEAR BLOCK THE COLD: You know your body; pay attention to it. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t walk outside with your friend. Assess your winter wardrobe. Do you have a warm hat, scarf, coat and gloves? You should have something to block the wind and cold from your face. Test out your gear. After all, you do have to go outside in the weather, even when you are not with her. What would you normally wear? Figure out how to dress to protect yourself. Then test to see how long you can stay outside in the cold without triggering a coughing fit. Tell your friend you will try. Make sure you have your inhaler in case you have a problem. I’d suggest limiting your walk to less than 30 minutes to avoid getting too cold.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)