DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a hard time keeping in touch with people. I have gone months and even years without calling people I really care about. It’s not because I don’t love them. More, it’s that they aren’t around, and I just don’t think about them. I have even gone weeks without calling my mother. Obviously I love her. But I’m busy with my life, and time just slips by.

Recently, some friends have called me out on this. One old friend complained that I should have at least called him back when he tried to check in on me during the shutdown. I agreed, but I haven’t really altered my behavior. I don’t know that I can change at this stage of the game. I am a grown man. I don’t know why people expect me to become somebody else. How can I get them to back off and leave me be? -- Stuck in My Ways

DEAR STUCK IN MY WAYS: I’m sorry, but I can’t give you a pass on your behavior. You know that it is not kind to forget about your loved ones -- and to be flippant about checking in with them, especially during an international health emergency. You can do better than this.

Breaking a behavioral pattern is hard to do, though. I recommend that you begin to keep a daily or weekly calendar. Included in your everyday duties for work and for home, add a “loved ones” list. Write down the names of people you care about, from family to friends. Then put their names into your calendar sprinkled throughout the days and weeks at times when you can place a call. Don’t pass the day without attempting to reach them. You can do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has been cleaning out her closet. She has given a few great pieces of clothing to my teenage daughter, who acts like she couldn’t care less. She has accepted them, but hasn’t even tried them on and is nonchalant about the whole thing. I can tell that my neighbor wants to know if the clothes fit. I have taught my daughter to have good manners, but she’s not showing them now. How can I get her to behave better? -- Etiquette

DEAR ETIQUETTE: Your daughter may feel traumatized by being sequestered at home for so long. Even though your neighbor is being kind, chances are, your daughter isn’t really connecting to what’s happening.

You have to wake her up, so to speak. Remind her that even during times like these, good manners count. She may wish that the person paying attention to her is one of her good friends, but she needs to acknowledge the one who is being kind to her. Take away a privilege, if necessary, to get her to respond. If you confiscate her phone until she tries on the clothes and thanks your neighbor, I’d wager the gratitude will come pretty quickly. Be gentle with her, too, as this is a weird time, especially for a teenager who longs for her contemporaries.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a youth-based industry even though I am not young. I keep up my style, so I look fairly young, all things considered. People always tell me I look young for my age. But that all falls away whenever technology comes into play. I know how to use Word, but that's about the extent of it. When my company introduces a new app or other tool to make life easier, I struggle to figure out how to install it, let alone use it.

I worry that if I tell anybody how hard it is for me that I run the risk of being considered obsolete. It has only gotten worse since we have been at home, because I don't have a colleague nearby to ask a simple question. What can I do? I need my job. -- Luddite

DEAR LUDDITE: Now is the time to call upon your youthful nature. Go online during your off hours and get tutored on how to use whatever technology is in question. Go to YouTube.com for starters. There are video tutorials about virtually everything, which will walk you through how to use and master the technology that is baffling you. You have to be proactive now. The best part is that you can do it in private.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been very active in my church for years. That's why it has been extra-hard to stay away all these weeks recently. But I get it. Now that our city is opening up, our minister is eager to start services again that everyone can attend, but I haven't heard anything about setting up social distancing measures. He has called me many times to ask me to come in and lead Sunday school for the children and basically get things moving again. When I asked about safeguards because of the coronavirus, he shrugged it off. He said, “God will provide.”

When I look at the news, I see that many people who have gone to church across our country have gotten sick and died. As much as I love my church, I don't want to risk my life if my pastor isn't taking the rules seriously. I don't think that we can leave this up to God. I also don't want to be called out as a nonbeliever. What should I do? -- Back to Church

DEAR BACK TO CHURCH: Do not succumb to peer pressure. You are right. Outbreaks from congregations gathering at spiritual centers are up. It is not worth it to go and sit too close to parishioners, sing, cry, touch -- it's just too much right now. This is especially true in a house of worship that is not taking this virus seriously.

I say this knowing that there are strong opinions against my position. I go with the science. It has been proven unequivocally that people who gather together too closely often get sick, especially at church.

So don't give in. Tell your pastor you will do anything he needs from the safety of your home. If he rejects you, find a new house of worship -- starting with those who have online services. I know this is hard to swallow, but it's smarter than going to church and dying.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor is very chatty and used to come over all the time -- too much for my liking -- after work to chat. I shut that down after the lockdown started, which made her angry. She said that since we live next door to each other, we should be safe. But she doesn’t stay home -- she can’t. She works for the city and has to go to work every day. To me, that means she could be exposed to anything.

My family and I have been staying inside almost every day. We only go out to get groceries, and we are careful not to interact with anyone. I don’t want to hurt my neighbor’s feelings, but I do not want to let her in my house. How can I get her to back off? -- Boundaries

DEAR BOUNDARIES: Call your neighbor on the phone and tell her you need to talk. Point out how uncomfortable it is to have to socially distance even when you are living so close to each other, but make it clear that you do not want her to visit face-to-face right now. Thank her for her service as a front-line worker. Tell her how much you appreciate that she makes the choice to go out each day to do her job, which is beneficial for all of us. Add that her daily exposure to other people puts her at risk of being in contact with the coronavirus.

Since you and your family have been vigilant about staying home except as absolutely necessary, you do not feel comfortable exposing any of them to anyone, especially someone who has to be out in the thick of things every day. This disease is invisible, but we do know that it is spread from person to person when those people are in close proximity to each other.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Tongue Tied wrote to you about how to reach out to a neighbor during the COVID-19 outbreak. She wanted to tell him that she liked him a lot and thought it could be a good time to say something to him. Your advice was to invite him over for dinner and to talk, but not to disclose how much she liked him. While I agree that the conversation should not begin with her disclosure of how much she liked him, the dinner invitation is completely contrary to public health advice. Would you consider an amendment in your next column? -- Protect Yourself

DEAR PROTECT YOURSELF: Good catch! Even when I am working to be conscious of our new reality, I made a major faux pas. My apologies. Perhaps Tongue Tied can invite him for a virtual drink or dinner. She might even make a drink or dish that she can offer him -- takeout -- and then the two of them can use videoconferencing to consume whatever the goody is while talking. For sure, they should limit their exposure to each other. If they decide to share a dish or drink, they can organize it the way that delivery services do by leaving the package outside their door so that they maintain complete social distancing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)