DEAR HARRIETTE: I am almost 30 years old, and I am having a baby. My partner and I are in a good relationship. Even though we didn’t plan to get pregnant, we are figuring it out together. I’m not going to lie, though: It’s a lot to think about and manage.

We are still early in our careers trying to get things going, and we both lost our jobs in the shutdown. He recently started a new job, and I should be back to work soon, although I will have to take off to take care of the baby for a while. Everybody is in my ear telling me what I should and should not do in terms of getting ready for the baby. I want to make decisions with my man. He wants that, too, but there always seems to be somebody else telling us their opinion. How can I keep the bond strong with my man? We aren’t married, but we are committed to each other. I don’t want other people to get in the way of us growing closer as we bring a child into the world. -- Baby Makes Family

DEAR BABY MAKES FAMILY: Now is a perfect time for you to establish boundaries around your growing family. You and your boyfriend need to form the strongest bond possible so that you value and honor what’s happening in your life. By putting each other and your child first, you can figure out how to prioritize everything else.

Establish a weekly family meeting where you talk about what your plans are short-term and long-term. What do you need to take care of the baby? How will you manage your time when the baby comes? Talk about everything from values to child care. Pivoting from being a couple in love to a couple having a baby is a huge shift. Work together on defining what that means. If you are on the same page, it will make it easier to stay there when you talk to other people.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are close to another couple. We are almost like the Honeymooners. We spend a lot of time together, but we also compete with each other a little bit. Both couples have big anniversaries coming up. We had been planning individual blow-out parties. Now that we can’t get together with lots of people, the steam has fizzled from our healthy competition. We have continued to see each other, and we have kind of quarantined together. I was thinking maybe we should celebrate our anniversaries together, just the four of us. I know that’s not the same as lavish parties, but I’m trying to be realistic. What do you think? -- Dashed Hopes

DEAR DASHED HOPES: The idea of a shared party is nice, but it doesn’t have to be just the four of you. Since these are big anniversary years, think big. So many people are hosting Zoom parties -- or parties using other video technology -- you can, too! You can plan an event with your friends from far and wide. Recommend what they prepare to eat and drink. Schedule a champagne toast at a particular time, speeches -- the works. By joining forces, the prep can be fun, and your friends everywhere will appreciate the effort.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a hard time keeping in touch with people. I have gone months and even years without calling people I really care about. It’s not because I don’t love them. More, it’s that they aren’t around, and I just don’t think about them. I have even gone weeks without calling my mother. Obviously I love her. But I’m busy with my life, and time just slips by.

Recently, some friends have called me out on this. One old friend complained that I should have at least called him back when he tried to check in on me during the shutdown. I agreed, but I haven’t really altered my behavior. I don’t know that I can change at this stage of the game. I am a grown man. I don’t know why people expect me to become somebody else. How can I get them to back off and leave me be? -- Stuck in My Ways

DEAR STUCK IN MY WAYS: I’m sorry, but I can’t give you a pass on your behavior. You know that it is not kind to forget about your loved ones -- and to be flippant about checking in with them, especially during an international health emergency. You can do better than this.

Breaking a behavioral pattern is hard to do, though. I recommend that you begin to keep a daily or weekly calendar. Included in your everyday duties for work and for home, add a “loved ones” list. Write down the names of people you care about, from family to friends. Then put their names into your calendar sprinkled throughout the days and weeks at times when you can place a call. Don’t pass the day without attempting to reach them. You can do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has been cleaning out her closet. She has given a few great pieces of clothing to my teenage daughter, who acts like she couldn’t care less. She has accepted them, but hasn’t even tried them on and is nonchalant about the whole thing. I can tell that my neighbor wants to know if the clothes fit. I have taught my daughter to have good manners, but she’s not showing them now. How can I get her to behave better? -- Etiquette

DEAR ETIQUETTE: Your daughter may feel traumatized by being sequestered at home for so long. Even though your neighbor is being kind, chances are, your daughter isn’t really connecting to what’s happening.

You have to wake her up, so to speak. Remind her that even during times like these, good manners count. She may wish that the person paying attention to her is one of her good friends, but she needs to acknowledge the one who is being kind to her. Take away a privilege, if necessary, to get her to respond. If you confiscate her phone until she tries on the clothes and thanks your neighbor, I’d wager the gratitude will come pretty quickly. Be gentle with her, too, as this is a weird time, especially for a teenager who longs for her contemporaries.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a youth-based industry even though I am not young. I keep up my style, so I look fairly young, all things considered. People always tell me I look young for my age. But that all falls away whenever technology comes into play. I know how to use Word, but that's about the extent of it. When my company introduces a new app or other tool to make life easier, I struggle to figure out how to install it, let alone use it.

I worry that if I tell anybody how hard it is for me that I run the risk of being considered obsolete. It has only gotten worse since we have been at home, because I don't have a colleague nearby to ask a simple question. What can I do? I need my job. -- Luddite

DEAR LUDDITE: Now is the time to call upon your youthful nature. Go online during your off hours and get tutored on how to use whatever technology is in question. Go to YouTube.com for starters. There are video tutorials about virtually everything, which will walk you through how to use and master the technology that is baffling you. You have to be proactive now. The best part is that you can do it in private.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been very active in my church for years. That's why it has been extra-hard to stay away all these weeks recently. But I get it. Now that our city is opening up, our minister is eager to start services again that everyone can attend, but I haven't heard anything about setting up social distancing measures. He has called me many times to ask me to come in and lead Sunday school for the children and basically get things moving again. When I asked about safeguards because of the coronavirus, he shrugged it off. He said, “God will provide.”

When I look at the news, I see that many people who have gone to church across our country have gotten sick and died. As much as I love my church, I don't want to risk my life if my pastor isn't taking the rules seriously. I don't think that we can leave this up to God. I also don't want to be called out as a nonbeliever. What should I do? -- Back to Church

DEAR BACK TO CHURCH: Do not succumb to peer pressure. You are right. Outbreaks from congregations gathering at spiritual centers are up. It is not worth it to go and sit too close to parishioners, sing, cry, touch -- it's just too much right now. This is especially true in a house of worship that is not taking this virus seriously.

I say this knowing that there are strong opinions against my position. I go with the science. It has been proven unequivocally that people who gather together too closely often get sick, especially at church.

So don't give in. Tell your pastor you will do anything he needs from the safety of your home. If he rejects you, find a new house of worship -- starting with those who have online services. I know this is hard to swallow, but it's smarter than going to church and dying.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)