DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Russian immigrant who came to the U.S. seven years ago as a refugee when I was 16. As I've entered my 20s, I have begun to become more politically engaged. However, I have always had trouble wrapping my head around American race relations, as they are so different from those of my home country. As the current escalations on the issue of police brutality around the country happen, I want to engage in activism and important conversations, but I have no idea where to start or what my opinions are. Especially as a white person who did not grow up in America, how do I inform myself and engage with a discourse that is not as personal to me? -- Educate Me

DEAR EDUCATE ME: Thank you for your letter and your sincere interest in expanding your understanding about a complicated and deeply rooted topic in American history. What's happening today is historic in the sense that everyone is affected, and many people of all backgrounds are leaning in to learn and address the challenges that face us. Thanks to the marches in the streets and the calls for change, the whole world is awakening in a more meaningful way to the impact of racial injustice, police brutality, unequal pay and lack of equity in our country. You are right that these issues are not the same in every country, which means that not everyone shares the same knowledge base or experience. Truth be told, even many Americans, particularly white Americans, do not have the historical knowledge of this country's relationship to racial injustice that might seem to be a given.

And so, it is time for all of us to get educated. One way to start is by reading. Many scholars, anthropologists, cultural critics and historians have written about the history of race relations in the United States. I recommend that you begin to read so that you can expand your knowledge. Here are a few books to consider:

-- "So You Want to Talk About Race" by Ijeoma Oluo

-- "Americanah" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (details a black person moving to America and dealing with race in America for the first time, a new perspective to add to your own)

-- "The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in The Age of Colorblindness" by Michelle Alexander

-- "The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery and the Making of American Capitalism by Edward E. Baptist

-- "The Autobiography of Malcolm X: As Told to Alex Haley"

-- "The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America" by Richard Rothstein

-- "How to be an Antiracist" by Ibram X. Kendi

-- "Chokehold: Policing Black Men" by Paul Butler

-- "They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South" by Stephanie E. Jones-Rogers

You may also want to look at some films that shed light on race relations in America. Consider these:

-- "Imitation of Life" by Douglas Sirk

-- "In the Heat of the Night" by Norman Jewison

-- "Let the Fire Burn" by Jason Osder

-- "Selma" by Ava Duvernay

-- "13th" by Ava Duvernay

-- "Just Mercy" by Destin Daniel Cretton

-- "The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution" by Stanley Nelson

-- "12 Years a Slave" by Steve McQueen

-- "A Raisin in the Sun" by Daniel Petrie

-- "Boyz in the Hood" by John Singleton

-- "The Butler" by Lee Daniels

-- "Fruitvale Station" by Ryan Coogler

-- "Dear White People" by Justin Simien

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it should give you some perspective on what's happening in this country and why people are feeling the way that they are. Welcome to the conversation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every summer, I invite my niece and nephew from Italy to come stay with me and my family. Travel hasn’t really opened up yet, so this summer hasn’t been an issue, but I anticipate that travel will be relaxed soon enough. I am afraid to have them come. Italy was hit hard by COVID-19, and my elderly mother lives with me. I worry that if I bring these young people into my home directly from one of the hardest-hit countries, I could be killing her. I love having them come, though. And they look forward to it so much. How should I handle this? -- Overseas Visitors

DEAR OVERSEAS VISITORS: This may be the year that you put that trans-Atlantic visit on pause. We won’t know for some time whether or not the virus is under control. According to Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director for the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, until there is a vaccine, we won’t have it under control. Yes, we have to live our lives. But we do not want to put anyone at risk, particularly our most vulnerable population, which includes elders.

If your family has to stay with you, I suggest that you wait until next year, when we have more information. As disappointed as they may be at first, they will have to understand. This international epidemic is real and needs to be respected. At the time of writing this column, we have topped 110,000 deaths in America. That is a sobering statistic. Be part of the solution by being extremely cautious. Use videoconferencing and other outlets to stay in touch. Plan the visit for a year from now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I seem to be having a standoff in the kitchen. Our agreement years ago was that if I cooked, he would clean the kitchen. We both work. I often work long hours, even now when we are at home. But he leaves the dishes in the sink overnight pretty consistently, then washes them in the morning. That means we get roaches sometimes because we live in an apartment building. You can’t leave food out and expect no repercussions. When I try to bring this up to him, he just blows me off and says, “I washed them, didn’t I? What’s your problem?” He doesn’t get it at all. But I don’t want to have to do every single thing in the house. How can I get him to participate more fully? It’s not my house; it’s our house. -- Need His Help

DEAR NEED HIS HELP: Revisit your household chores agreement when you aren’t upset. Tell your husband that you want to refresh how you two handle your duties. Point out that there’s a lot to do, and you are inviting him to work with you to improve on the upkeep of your home. Do an inventory of chores with him, including the kitchen -- but not singularly the kitchen. Ask for his input. What does he think needs to be done to maintain the home? Be sure to mention eliminating roaches and possible vermin. Ask him to recommit to cleaning the kitchen in a timely manner. You may consider spending time with him in the kitchen. Can you two talk and clean at the same time? Fostering togetherness might help inspire him to take action.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who is slick as all get-out, and I’m sick of her. We work closely together. Whenever we have brainstorming meetings, which is part of our job, in the next staff meeting she pipes up and offers my ideas to the group as if they were her own. It is so annoying and rude. I have tried to hold back my ideas in our smaller group settings, but then I am accused of not being a team player. I am often the one who thinks outside the box and who comes up with pretty cool concepts. It is frustrating to see her glom onto them and then present them as her own week after week. How can I gain control of my ideas in the group setting? -- Stolen Concepts

DEAR STOLEN CONCEPTS: You may want to start with having regular meetings with your boss where you talk about ideas. Try to get in with your boss before the big meeting so that she knows what’s on your mind. Get a sense of whether your boss likes your ideas, and talk about how they might be implemented. In this way, you have planted a seed, and you may find that your boss becomes your ally in the next meeting.

You can even share that you find it hard to get your thoughts out to the group before your co-worker blurts them out. Ask your boss for input on how to be more proactive in the meetings.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agree with your advice to “Back to Church” regarding avoiding a situation with no social distancing. However, I suggest that you add the fact that depending on God means using the brain and common sense He gave us. We are not commanded to follow blindly. To include those thoughts might give the reader more comfort in disagreeing with her pastor. -- Also Back to Church

DEAR ALSO BACK TO CHURCH: As more cities and states open up, more houses of worship will be open for parishioners. Your recommendation is key right now. Having faith does NOT mean turning your common sense over to a higher power or even to your pastor, rabbi or priest. You have to use your brain. Evaluate the risks versus the rewards. If you are a person with a compromised immune system, you need to beware of going into crowded spaces.

I spoke to a front-line medical doctor who said that we are going to have to figure out how to live in this time of COVID-19 because it will be months if not longer before we will have a vaccine -- the only thing that can give us some protection from it. His point was that we have to practice all safety precautions and learn to go about our daily lives. This calls for conscious awareness of our steps. Faith is essential, too. Just don’t stop thinking for yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)