DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepfather, who has been with my mother for the last three years, has been making insensitive comments about the Black Lives Matter protests. For example, saying that the protests are all about looting and violence, and dismissing the concerns of African Americans in this country. How do I approach the topic so that I can try to educate him and change his perspectives while being respectful since I am trying to build a friendly relationship with him and don’t want to cause any family tension? -- Black Lives Matter

DEAR BLACK LIVES MATTER: Now that the looting and violence have died down but the marching continues, you can point out that the true protesters remain -- people who are fighting for equity. You can give him articles and books to read, point him to reports about racial disparities in our country and encourage him to open his eyes to the fullness of what is happening in the nation today. There are many reading lists that you can access. Here’s one with a broad range of ideas: nytimes.com/2019/05/29/books/review/antiracist-reading-list-ibram-x-kendi.html.

Beyond making suggestions to your stepfather, you might want to back down a bit. Arguing about the rising tide of awareness of racial inequity will not likely change his mind. Instead, insert comments when you feel he is able to hear them. Watch movies -- in his company -- that shine a light on race relations. Subtly bring up the subject, but do your best not to argue.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex reached out to me a month ago. He sounded drunk, but he was also clear in what he was saying. He told me that he thought he had made a huge mistake breaking up with me a couple of years ago, and he knows I am the woman for him. He went on and on. I let him talk because he seemed pretty riled up. I didn’t say much.

I called him the next day to talk when I thought he might be sober. What did I get? Crickets. It has been four weeks now, and I still haven’t heard from him. I know that he was probably drunk when he did all of that talking about how much he loves me, but come on! Should I chalk it up to a random drunken moment, or should I pursue him and get him to talk to me? I have never stopped loving him. If there’s a chance for us, I don’t want to let it go. -- Does He Love Me?

DEAR DOES HE LOVE ME?: Listen to yourself, and look at the situation soberly. It’s interesting -- while your ex may have been inebriated, you also sound like you are not of sober mind. The way you can evaluate what to do next is based on what is happening now. Sure, your ex may have stammered through telling you he still loves you when he was intoxicated, but if he is running away now, he clearly is not ready to step up and own his feelings.

Don’t chase after him. That’s not the type of relationship you want or deserve. If he cannot be honest with his feelings and desires for the future, you have no chance at happiness with him anyway. Sounds like it’s time for you and your heart to move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve noticed my son, who is home from college, is smoking marijuana quite often now that we are in quarantine. I can smell it on him. While I don’t have an issue with marijuana on occasion, I am worried that this is a coping mechanism for his feelings of anxiety about the future and isolation from his friends. How do I talk to him without being accusatory? -- Too Much Pot

DEAR TOO MUCH POT: Medical professionals have indicated that the rates of drug and alcohol use and abuse are up during this period of quarantine during the pandemic. Coping with the fear and anxiety of a health crisis coupled with an economic crisis can be difficult for everyone, young and old.

It is likely that your son’s excessive smoking is a coping mechanism. And you are right, he is likely to be defensive. So how can you address it? Talk to your son about how he’s feeling and what he’s looking forward to doing in the coming days and weeks. Rather than focusing on his smoking, get him to think about the future. What did he like to do before that was a hobby or area of interest? Encourage him to spend some time each day doing that. Invite him to take walks with you in the neighborhood and to talk about whatever is on his mind. Whenever you can engage him, be mindful not to be an inquisitor. Also, tell him stories about yourself and your dreams for the future.

When you feel that your rapport is strong, point out that you are concerned that he may be smoking too much. Suggest that he watch his consumption during this challenging time. If you have done anything in excess -- from eating too much, drinking heavily or even sleeping too much -- tell him that you are checking yourself, too, and you recommend that he do the same.

For more coping mechanisms and support for drug or alcohol abuse, go to cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been working the same job for 30 years. Recently we switched to working online. It was a hard adjustment, but I’m getting used to it now. My issue is that I’m realizing that I am very bored with my job. I’m close to retirement age; I don't really want to retire, but I don't want to be in this job anymore. How late is too late to switch careers? Should I even bother switching careers, or should I try to retire early? -- Time To Move On

DEAR TIME TO MOVE ON: It is not too late to switch careers, but before you jump ship, do a thorough assessment of where you are and what the landscape looks like. Right now, most jobs that have the ability to work remotely are doing just that. For health and safety purposes, businesses have been forced to use the internet to stay afloat. This was not a goal for most companies, but a necessity.

Given that reality, most companies that you may consider for a job pivot may be in the same position -- now offering remote work for its employees. Know that this way of working won’t last forever for all companies. As soon as there is confidence that it is safe to return to an in-person workplace, plenty of businesses will resume work in that form. You may want to wait it out a bit longer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My elderly parents are struggling with being alone during quarantine. They don’t get out normally, and now it’s even worse. They don’t have many friends, and they are afraid to go outside because they don’t want to get sick. I’m working full time, so I don’t want to get them sick. How do I ensure that my parents don't get too lonely while also knowing I can't be their only source of interaction? -- Saving My Parents

DEAR SAVING MY PARENTS: We are now five months into sheltering in place due to COVID-19. For the elderly, this time has proven extremely difficult; the recommendation is that they have no contact with their loved ones or anyone other than essential workers. If your parents or loved ones live in a nursing home or other retirement community, the rules are strict. "No visitations" remains the rule of the day -- with the exception of drive-by visits with no physical interaction. This is extremely difficult for those who feel isolated and lonely.

You are right that you cannot be everything for your parents. You can encourage them to engage their minds by playing solitaire, reading or listening to audiobooks, or starting an art project. If you aren’t already communicating with them via videoconferencing, get them simple-to-use smartphones and do that regularly. Set deadlines for completion of fun projects that give them something to look forward to. Stay upbeat when you talk to them. For more engaging ideas, read welbi.co/single-post/senior-community-activity-ideas-during-covid-19-quarantines.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My employer wants me to go back to the office, but I don't feel comfortable commuting on public transport because I don't want to put my family at risk. I think it’s irresponsible that he is asking employees to come into work so soon. Should I put my foot down and say I want to keep working from home, or go along with what my boss wants for the sake of keeping my job? -- Afraid To Commute

DEAR AFRAID TO COMMUTE: One of the biggest challenges about returning to work is the commute. People who drive their own cars have control over their interactions, but for those who must use public transportation, the notion of boarding a train or bus with many other people in order to get to the office can seem daunting.

As you contemplate your next steps, do a self-assessment. Do you have any underlying health conditions that put you at risk for coronavirus complications? That includes upper respiratory illnesses, diabetes, high blood pressure and auto-immune diseases. If so, you could mention this to your employer and say that you want to work, but you worry about exposure. You can ask if you can work from home a little longer to see how the virus manifests as public transportation ramps up.

You may need to point out how efficient you have been during this period that you have been at home so that your employer is reminded of your hard work.

If you find that you are required to go to work, follow all safety protocols. Wear a face covering during your entire journey. Keep your distance from others to the best of your ability. Keep hand sanitizer at the ready. Do not touch your face before cleaning your hands. Good luck!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)