DEAR HARRIETTE: What should I do instead of calling the cops? I am an Asian woman, and I live in an apartment in Philadelphia in an area with a fairly high crime rate. Because of my hours (I work at a grocery store), I often have to walk home alone just as it’s getting dark, and I am concerned that this puts me at risk.

That said, I am concerned about calling the police to a neighborhood that has many people of color, especially Black people. I do not think I am more at risk of being attacked by a Black person, and I would strongly prefer not to introduce the police into any situation in this community. However, if something were to happen while I’m walking back at night, which I have been raised to remember is all too possible as a young woman, what are some alternative actions I could take? -- Need Protection

DEAR NEED PROTECTION: You are right to be concerned about your safety during your evening walk home, and, sadly, you are also right that it can be tricky to engage police when there is a heightened understanding that Black people can be accused of crimes even when they are not committing them. Our police departments across the country are evaluating their procedures and redefining how they can support communities -- and it will take some time.

Two things you can do: Be proactive, and go speak to someone at your police precinct to inquire about what they would recommend to best support you. If extra patrolling happens during evening hours, that may be more helpful than a 911 call. You can also talk to your community board or neighborhood organization (if you have one) and suggest forming a neighborhood watch, where neighbors look out for one another.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my job, we’ve just begun to go to the office a couple of days a week. During the remote period, we hired some new staff into our company. I was looking forward to finally meeting everyone and having in-person interactions with them, even in a limited capacity. However, one of the new employees seems to be flirting with me, and I am not interested. He keeps complimenting me and has tried to inquire about my personal life. I chalked it up to him being awkward and nice, but now he will text me after work hours and has asked me to get coffee sometime. Am I being paranoid? Does this guy just want a friend because of quarantine, or is he looking for love? Either way, how should I approach this situation? I don’t think I’m looking for an office romance. -- Drawing the Lines

DEAR DRAWING THE LINES: Be direct with this man so that there is no guessing going on. Tell him it is nice to get to know a new co-worker, but you are getting mixed signals from him. Say that you are happy to get to know him as a colleague, but you are not interested in dating, in case that’s what he had in mind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been insecure about my nose since I was a little girl. From the beginning of my teen years, I thought about how nice it would be to get a nose job. Now that I am an established working person, I am realizing that this would be completely financially viable for me, and I’m in a position to make this choice. I know that a nose job is a big deal and could change the way my face looks pretty drastically. However, it would be nice to use my autonomy and the money I’ve worked for to address an insecurity I’ve held for a long time. Should I go through with getting plastic surgery, or should I just learn to accept the way I look? -- Nose Job

DEAR NOSE JOB: Start with a consultation. Find a doctor by referral if you can. Meet and talk about what you want to do, and review images to discuss how you want your nose to look. Go over your health history with the doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to undergo this procedure. Know that in some instances, adjusting your nose may also require adjusting other parts of your face. You can discuss all of the options with your doctor.

Ultimately, you can decide if the surgery is the right decision based on your comfort with the doctor and your conviction to have it done. Many people have had successful rhinoplasty surgery performed. This can boost your self-esteem, though you may still need to do some work on the inside to make a significant shift in feelings of self-worth.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I were thinking of having kids this year, as 2020 would be the perfect year for us financially and time-wise to begin the journey of starting a family. This, of course, was before the COVID crisis started. We have not been financially impacted by the crisis, as both of our jobs can be done remotely. However, we are naturally second-guessing the idea. We are thinking of immediate factors such as the fact that social distancing measures might hinder access to medical care, or that my wife might be at a higher risk to the virus during pregnancy. However, the bigger question for us is what it would be like to raise a child during these next couple of years when we are readjusting as a society. We were so excited to start a family, and COVID has really put a wrench in our plans. Would it be selfish to have kids now? Do we have to give up on our dream, or is there a responsible way for us to approach this situation? -- Planning for the Future

DEAR PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE: COVID-19 is forcing us all to readjust and reframe our plans. Only you can decide whether now is the right time for you to start a family, given the new circumstances. However, if you do go forward with it, you must know that things will be different from how you originally envisioned them, and you need to completely think through the ways in which the virus will change your plans, as you have already started to do. Think about child care and education, for example.

Having a child is a blessing, even during COVID-19. If you want to do so, make a plan, have faith and go for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a dream of writing a book, and in 2014 I rented a house on the beach and spent five weeks writing. I made good progress and was happy with the fruits of my labor. When I got home, I did not continue. How do I make it a priority to finish it? It seems that when I am home, I put everything and everyone before finishing my book. I keep telling myself that my book must not be as important as I thought it was or as the other things that I spend my time on. Is this some kind of mental block that is causing me to procrastinate? I have a husband who likes to do everything together, and when I rented the home to be alone and write, he insisted on coming with me. He worked from the house, and I worked on my book. I would appreciate any assistance or advice you can offer. -- Writer’s Block

DEAR WRITER’S BLOCK: It takes a tremendous amount of focused attention and discipline to write a book. Honestly, it takes that to do just about anything. To complete a major task, you have to work on it consistently until it is finished. How do you do that? I recommend making a plan that you write down and post so that you are reminded of it every day. Promise yourself that you will devote at least one hour every single day to your book, including weekends. The hour can be used for actual writing, for research, for editing or for review. Even if you only get a few thoughts written down, if you go to your computer or your tablet every single day and focus your attention on your project, something will begin to emerge over time.

Ask your husband to support your efforts just like he did a few years ago. It’s fine for him to be nearby if you do not allow him to be a distraction.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm hoping you might consider sharing these questions people should ask themselves to help determine if they have a drinking problem. They helped someone in our family!

1. Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?

2. Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking -- stop telling you what to do?

3. Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?

4. Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?

5. Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?

6. Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?

7. Has your drinking caused trouble at home?

8. Do you ever try to get “extra” drinks at a party because you did not get enough?

9. Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don’t mean to?

10. Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?

11. Do you have “blackouts”?

12. Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink? (Reprinted with permission: A.A. World Services.) -- Check Yourself

DEAR CHECK YOURSELF: Thank you for sharing these key questions. Readers, if you answered yes to any or most of them, seek help now. Visit aa.org for more information.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)