DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been hoping that this guy I’ve liked for a long time would finally wake up and see that we should be together. We are good friends and he says he loves me, but he has never made a move. Recently he called me all excited to say that he had reconnected with his ex-wife. I’m in shock. They broke up more than 20 years ago, and he used to hate her. Why would he get with her and not give me a chance? I don’t get it. What am I doing wrong? -- Heartbroken

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: It sounds like the man you have been crushing on has not been crushing on you. You live in a different category in his head and heart -- as friend. Maybe even best friend. Clearly not lover or future lover. Stop allowing your hopes to break your heart. He has shown you the type of love that he has to offer, which is platonic, right? That he has rekindled his bond with his ex of 20 years proves that he can look backward and reconsider an old flame -- all the more proof that he does not consider you to be in that category. For your own peace of mind, let go of your fantasy about him. Either accept that you have a loving friendship only, or sever ties if you are unable to let your racing heart calm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a friend request from my sister’s ex. I never really liked him, but I was kind to him because they were dating. I felt like he was manipulative and unkind to her, even as she went overboard to treat him great. I hated how he upset her and made her doubt herself. Now, several years later, here he comes reaching out to me to connect on social media. I don’t want to communicate with him, but I know my sister would want me to accept him. She still has feelings for him. Should I agree just so that I can keep tabs on what he’s doing? It feels messy to me. -- Accept a Friend Request

DEAR ACCEPT A FRIEND REQUEST: Do not engage with him anymore. You have no reason to reestablish a bond with this man. You are not his ex. You should not be keeping tabs on him. It may feel awkward at first, given that you are not responding to his request, but your sister’s breakup with him was awkward for you, right?

You can literally say and do nothing. Just don’t respond to his overtures. If he writes back or direct messages you and you feel that you must say something, you can DM him back to say something like, “Nice to hear from you. I think it’s best if we do not connect on social. Take care.” In that way, at least you have acknowledged him as you also shut him down. He doesn’t deserve your friendship just because he wants it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have high blood pressure, and I take medication for it. Pretty much nobody in my friend group knows about it because I just don’t think it’s any of their business. I’m a very private person.

The other day when we finally got to meet up in the park -- socially distanced, of course -- I dropped my purse and everything fell out, including my high blood pressure medicine. One of my friends went to help me retrieve everything, and she picked up my meds. She looked at the bottle and asked me why I didn’t tell her I had HBP. I was offended. I don’t have to talk about my medical condition. Even though she knew what the medication was for, I still felt like it was wrong for her to pry. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it. Am I wrong for being so tight-lipped? She is my good friend, but I don’t want anybody in my business. -- Outed

DEAR OUTED: You have the right to your privacy, to be sure. But step back a moment and ask yourself why you are so overly sensitive to your good friend knowing about your condition. Since she knew immediately what the medication was for, chances are, she or someone close to her may be suffering from the disease. Instead of hiding out and dealing with your illness in isolation, consider gaining support by talking about it with a select group of friends, or even just one. You can request confidentiality. Of course, that doesn’t guarantee that she will say nothing, but it certainly should make her more thoughtful about it.

Millions of Americans suffer from high blood pressure. Having support as you work to make smart choices about diet, exercise and lifestyle changes can be helpful as you work to control this disease. For more information on how to manage your HBP, go to mayocl.in/39lRg0v.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am part of a new team at my job, and things are not going very well. There was consolidation recently that resulted in a small group of us being folded into another department. The way my new boss works is totally different from my old boss, and I am having to figure it out for myself because my new boss doesn’t give me any instructions about procedures. I feel like I’m constantly stepping on landmines because I don’t know what this boss expects. How can I smooth things over? I feel like we need to start all over again. -- Restart

DEAR RESTART: Since your new boss did not take the initiative to give you the lay of the land, you need to request it. Ask for guidelines and procedures on how this team operates. Request written materials that outline processes so that you can be in better alignment. Do your best to cultivate a rapport with your boss and with other team members. It’s not the easiest thing to do in this virtual world, but make an effort. Stay engaged as you work to figure out how to find a way of working with this new team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: What should I do instead of calling the cops? I am an Asian woman, and I live in an apartment in Philadelphia in an area with a fairly high crime rate. Because of my hours (I work at a grocery store), I often have to walk home alone just as it’s getting dark, and I am concerned that this puts me at risk.

That said, I am concerned about calling the police to a neighborhood that has many people of color, especially Black people. I do not think I am more at risk of being attacked by a Black person, and I would strongly prefer not to introduce the police into any situation in this community. However, if something were to happen while I’m walking back at night, which I have been raised to remember is all too possible as a young woman, what are some alternative actions I could take? -- Need Protection

DEAR NEED PROTECTION: You are right to be concerned about your safety during your evening walk home, and, sadly, you are also right that it can be tricky to engage police when there is a heightened understanding that Black people can be accused of crimes even when they are not committing them. Our police departments across the country are evaluating their procedures and redefining how they can support communities -- and it will take some time.

Two things you can do: Be proactive, and go speak to someone at your police precinct to inquire about what they would recommend to best support you. If extra patrolling happens during evening hours, that may be more helpful than a 911 call. You can also talk to your community board or neighborhood organization (if you have one) and suggest forming a neighborhood watch, where neighbors look out for one another.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my job, we’ve just begun to go to the office a couple of days a week. During the remote period, we hired some new staff into our company. I was looking forward to finally meeting everyone and having in-person interactions with them, even in a limited capacity. However, one of the new employees seems to be flirting with me, and I am not interested. He keeps complimenting me and has tried to inquire about my personal life. I chalked it up to him being awkward and nice, but now he will text me after work hours and has asked me to get coffee sometime. Am I being paranoid? Does this guy just want a friend because of quarantine, or is he looking for love? Either way, how should I approach this situation? I don’t think I’m looking for an office romance. -- Drawing the Lines

DEAR DRAWING THE LINES: Be direct with this man so that there is no guessing going on. Tell him it is nice to get to know a new co-worker, but you are getting mixed signals from him. Say that you are happy to get to know him as a colleague, but you are not interested in dating, in case that’s what he had in mind.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)