DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I got engaged in the same week and chose our 2021 wedding dates one week apart. Once we got hit with COVID, I pushed my date back one year, and my friend got married early in the courthouse. She approached me asking about my wedding date and if I intended on keeping the same date for 2022. She wanted to renew her vows with a full wedding -- no longer on the original date she had chosen, but one week earlier, on my original 2021 date. She asked me only after I told her of the one-year postponement. This began a conflict and was a problem for me. As close friends and each other’s bridesmaids, I would not want us to deliberately get married on the same date, even one year apart. What should I do? -- It’s My Wedding Date

DEAR IT’S MY WEDDING DATE: Now’s the time to put your foot down, especially since your friend wants to claim the date you have reserved, and it is NOT her original wedding date. Be firm that you selected the date and that you want to reserve it as your unique wedding date and anniversary -- not to be shared with her. Suggest that she switch to her anniversary date or some other time.

Hopefully by 2022, COVID-19 won’t remain a threat to society. Just in case, know that many wedding planners are offering video services for couples so that they can marry no matter what.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just turned 18 years old. I’ve wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember, but my parents are against it. They say that it could disqualify me from getting a job or give a negative representation of myself. I’ve tried many times to reason with them that it is 2020 and things are different now; companies are more lenient when it comes to personal appearances. I can always cover my tattoos in the workplace, but it really just comes down to what career path I choose, and I don’t know what that is yet. I don’t think a tattoo will have as big an effect as they assume. Are tattoos still frowned upon in the workforce? -- 18 Now

DEAR 18 NOW: I’m old-school like your parents. I believe it does make a difference if you have visible tattoos -- depending on the type of job or career path you ultimately choose. Is it worth it to get a tattoo anyway? It is your choice. A compromise might be getting a small tattoo in a discreet area, at least for now. In that way, it won't stand in your way as you navigate your future.

An opposing view I have heard plenty of times is that there are so many career options these days that there should be a job for you no matter what markings you put on your skin. That may be true, but from my perspective, I think you can have a bit of patience. Wait until you figure how where you think you are headed and what is expected there before you create a roadblock that could make it harder for you to reach your goal.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is so hot in my house right now that I can hardly bear it. It is impossible to get on a Zoom call for work and look professional when all I’m doing is sweating all day. I feel bad about this, but it’s true. I have not turned the camera on for a few days. I’m hoping that the heat wave will pass soon, but I’m not sure it will. What do you recommend that I do in this situation? My boss likes to see our faces at these meetings, but I don’t think anybody wants to see me sitting there sweating. -- Overheated

DEAR OVERHEATED: No need to be embarrassed. A heat wave has swept our country. There have been waves of extremely hot days in the past few weeks that have made many thousands of people miserable. Check in privately with your boss and share that you are definitely a team player, but you feel the best way to show up professionally during this uncomfortable period is to be off camera with the exception, if necessary, of turning on your camera when you speak. Hopefully your boss will be understanding. If not, present yourself as comfortably and professionally as possible. Wear light-colored clothing, drink cool water and use a fan if you have one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a random call from a former colleague recently. She said she had been thinking about me and wanted to look me up. That was nice, but also awkward. We were never close. As I recall, we were pretty competitive.

I am suspicious about why she is calling me now. She said she thought of me because of the times. She had made a list of people she cares about and wanted to check in with during COVID-19 when everybody is at home. That sounded sweet, but I am not sure. Should I take her overture at face value? Should I try to strike up a friendship with her? How should I read this out-of-the-blue call? -- COVID Call

DEAR COVID CALL: I subscribe to the idea that, especially now during this elongated period of quarantine, it is smart to make lists of people you care about and to check in with them. I started with my closest circle of family and friends, then created a couple of other circles of people I care about. In part I did this to make sure that people were OK. I also had the thought that as people are sequestered at home, they may appreciate a connection to someone who cares about them.

Consider that your former colleague may have good intentions. Take her overture at face value, and receive her entreaty as an act of kindness and connection. You don’t need to strike up a friendship with her. Just ask her how she’s managing during these times. Have a pleasant conversation, and keep it moving. I believe that some good is emerging out of this extremely difficult time, and that is that some people are appealing to their humanity and looking to make real connections with others.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been hoping that this guy I’ve liked for a long time would finally wake up and see that we should be together. We are good friends and he says he loves me, but he has never made a move. Recently he called me all excited to say that he had reconnected with his ex-wife. I’m in shock. They broke up more than 20 years ago, and he used to hate her. Why would he get with her and not give me a chance? I don’t get it. What am I doing wrong? -- Heartbroken

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: It sounds like the man you have been crushing on has not been crushing on you. You live in a different category in his head and heart -- as friend. Maybe even best friend. Clearly not lover or future lover. Stop allowing your hopes to break your heart. He has shown you the type of love that he has to offer, which is platonic, right? That he has rekindled his bond with his ex of 20 years proves that he can look backward and reconsider an old flame -- all the more proof that he does not consider you to be in that category. For your own peace of mind, let go of your fantasy about him. Either accept that you have a loving friendship only, or sever ties if you are unable to let your racing heart calm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a friend request from my sister’s ex. I never really liked him, but I was kind to him because they were dating. I felt like he was manipulative and unkind to her, even as she went overboard to treat him great. I hated how he upset her and made her doubt herself. Now, several years later, here he comes reaching out to me to connect on social media. I don’t want to communicate with him, but I know my sister would want me to accept him. She still has feelings for him. Should I agree just so that I can keep tabs on what he’s doing? It feels messy to me. -- Accept a Friend Request

DEAR ACCEPT A FRIEND REQUEST: Do not engage with him anymore. You have no reason to reestablish a bond with this man. You are not his ex. You should not be keeping tabs on him. It may feel awkward at first, given that you are not responding to his request, but your sister’s breakup with him was awkward for you, right?

You can literally say and do nothing. Just don’t respond to his overtures. If he writes back or direct messages you and you feel that you must say something, you can DM him back to say something like, “Nice to hear from you. I think it’s best if we do not connect on social. Take care.” In that way, at least you have acknowledged him as you also shut him down. He doesn’t deserve your friendship just because he wants it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)