DEAR HARRIETTE: I am always shopping. Whether it is for myself or someone else, I find myself gathering items in a store that I see fit to have but may not necessarily need at that point in time. I never go to an event or friend’s home empty-handed, and when it comes to birthdays, I believe that it is always polite to give a gift -- even if small -- if I am celebrating with someone. Every time I pay off my credit card, the next week I find the balance is right back where it was the week before. I’ve come to find that I just buy too often! How do I put a cap on what I buy and stop giving out gifts all the time? Any suggestions? -- Shopaholic

DEAR SHOPAHOLIC: Compulsive shopping is considered to be an addiction, much like excessive drinking, gambling or smoking. It is real and hard to control. This doesn’t mean you should give in to it. Just know that your behavior seems to be out of your control, and you should get help to learn how to alter your behavior. Much like Alcoholics Anonymous, there is an organization that may be able to help you; shopaholicsanonymous.org exists for people just like you. In a community of peers, you can talk about your compulsions and discover healthier options for how to spend your time.

Some people make exhaustive lists of what they need to do and how they intend to spend their money. By following their lists, they set themselves up for the possibility of success. Only what is on the list is allowed for them to do, including what they do with their money. This could include a cap on what you spend on gifts. Consider making gifts yourself as well -- including home-cooked food and handmade cards. Get creative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my mid-30s, and with the quarantine, I began to search for a way to earn a certificate online to start my own business, but I am not sure what direction to go in. I pretty much know everything about cars, mechanics, design and how to sell, but I can't seem to figure out how to focus my plan. What's the best way to start a business? -- Starting a Business

DEAR STARTING A BUSINESS: Write down everything that interests you and what types of opportunities are available in those areas. Figure out where there is a need. I was told years ago by a successful entrepreneur that if you can identify a need and fill it, you will make money. People want their problems solved. As you consider what specifically you want to do, be sure to identify a way to help resolve problems, and your chances for success will increase exponentially.

Since you know you are interested in cars and the mechanical side of things, figure out what you can do in that space that will differentiate you from others in your area. If you can carve out a specialty that will draw clients to you, you automatically create a unique space for yourself. Just make sure that the need you identify has enough potential customers to be sustainable over time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am half-deaf, and because of it, I have a learning disability. I just started a new job, and the hiring manager is aware of my disability. Now that he is training me, it is clear that he is becoming frustrated as it takes me longer to learn and process new information than the average person. He doesn’t bring up my disability or ask if he is going too fast, but when I ask him to slow down, he tells me that this is the job pace -- I need to be able to keep up or I will not succeed in this job and should consider something else. I am confident that I can do that work; I just need more time to learn and process everything at first. How do I professionally correct him about my disability and defend myself? -- Hear Me Out

DEAR HEAR ME OUT: Have a direct conversation with him. Tell him about your learning process in relation to your disability. Explain that it takes you a little longer to grasp directions, but once you understand, you can perform at full speed. Ask him to have patience with you during these early days. When you do believe that you understand the processes that you are learning, be sure to let him know. Check and see if there is another employee who can be a buddy for you, so that if you need support later, you can turn to that person rather than your hiring manager to get help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I are designing a clothing line together. She is a model I met doing a fashion internship where I was a seamstress. I am a designer at heart; I make all my own clothes and have always had a dream to start my own brand. We decided to go off on our own to meet with investors to kickstart our line and production. She helps me with the business end since she has met a lot of people while modeling. She set up an important virtual meeting with an investor who could change everything for us. While meeting with the investor, she hijacked the interview and changed the brand name and our whole inspiration and idea for the line.

After the meeting, I told her how upset I was that she had changed my vision and not spoken to me about it. She told me that if we are going to use her connections, this company is going to go her way. This is supposed to be a partnership, and I can’t start a clothing line that isn’t me. How do I back out and take my designs? -- Design With Heart

DEAR DESIGN WITH HEART: Unless you have signed a contract with her, you can simply walk away -- with your designs in tow. If you are already legally entangled, get an attorney and hash it out. You may want to work with an attorney anyway to ensure that she doesn’t try to steal your designs. Consider this a wake-up call. You cannot do business with someone you cannot trust. Walk away from her -- now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 28 years old, and my parents recently divorced and live separately. My parents have 50-50 custody of my 12- and 14-year-old brother and sister. I've noticed how unhappy my siblings are, going back and forth between my parents’ houses. They said they can't take the fighting anymore and asked to come and live with me. I am totally fine with that if it means better living conditions for them, but I'm worried about how it will make our parents feel. Should I tell them they can't live with me, or should I talk to my parents? -- Love My Siblings

DEAR LOVE MY SIBLINGS: Before you do anything, talk to your parents. Since your siblings are minors, you cannot just take them anyway. It has to be a coordinated effort. You should let your parents know how unhappy your siblings are and that they have asked to come live with you. Suggest this move as an interim stop on their journey. Since the divorce is fresh and the emotional wounds are still raw, your siblings just want a break from the pain. Ask your parents to consider their feelings. Assure them that you will take good care of them during this traumatic period.

Your parents will need to feel that they will still be connected to the children, or the guilt might get the best of them, Let them know that you will make sure that they see their kids, but that right now they want to be in neutral territory -- and you can provide that for them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son just graduated from high school and has decided not to enter college this fall. He wants to get a job and take some time off. He is my only child, and I want him to have the same education I had so he will have more options in life, but he says school is not for him and that he wants to learn from the world. I admire his optimism, but skipping college means missing some of those vital world lessons. Is there anything I can do to change his mind? -- Get a Degree

DEAR GET A DEGREE: Given that college is likely to be remote this coming school year, your son may be making a good decision for himself -- at least in the short term.

Rather than pressuring your son to go to college, talk to him about his future. Find out what he wants to do with his life. What type of job does he want? When he opens up about his plans, ask him to research what his field of interest pays. He should get a clear picture of his earning potential based upon his interests. This is the reality check that may help him to determine what type of education he needs to provide for himself. Sometimes vocational school is a viable option. Know that jobs in tech and I.T. are plentiful these days and can be lucrative. The educational path for those is often shorter than college, so there are many options to consider.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)