DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a landlord with two tenants in a two-family home. My tenants do not get along. They are always emailing and calling me to complain about what the other has done. I have never had so many issues with tenants before. With quarantine, I guess they became too much for each other and finally the police were involved. At this point, I no longer want to rent to either of them. They are both currently month-to-month. I have been speaking with my lawyer to figure out the best way to ask them to leave. Is there anything else that I can do beforehand? Should I have the three of us sit down and lay out some ground rules? What is the best route for this conversation? -- Landlord Mediator

DEAR LANDLORD MEDIATOR: If you are trying to force these people to move out, you must work closely with your attorney. Depending on where you live, it can be very difficult to evict tenants. You need to follow the letter of the law in order to ensure that you can get them out.

I do not recommend inviting them to a group sit-down discussion. You want them to go because they don’t get along. You are past the stage when mediation will calm them.

Figure out the timeline through the law. Then let them know individually when they must leave. Be prepared to get pushback that may require you to go to court. Document everything so that you have clear, provable reasons for needing them to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 4-month-old daughter with a woman I never dated exclusively but was hanging out with for a while. When she told me she was pregnant, I asked about any other men, and she said there was no one else. I accepted that, and my family and I stood by her the whole pregnancy. I love my daughter with all my heart, and we co-parent great.

Recently, her ex-boyfriend's friend reached out to me suggesting I get a DNA test. I went back and forth about doing a test for myself since the day my daughter was born. Rumors about our child have circled so much that I finally decided to get a test done to end the drama. I never believed that she was not my daughter because I knew in my heart she was mine. But when I received the results, it turned out she was not mine. The news put me in a dark place, and I am having a hard time letting her go. I dropped everything in my life to move to another state to be closer to her. I'm so hurt by the news. I'm lost as to what to do. -- Heartbroken Father

DEAR HEARTBROKEN FATHER: Your daughter is yours, perhaps not by blood, but surely by love. Unless the biological father steps up to take care of this child, you should consider continuing in this role. Further, if you are in a relationship with this woman, sit down with her and map out your future. There is no reason why you cannot make a family with her and the child if that is your shared choice.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-husband was the product of an extramarital interracial relationship. Both of his parents -- the ones who raised him -- are white, and he has always denied he was biracial, despite the obvious physical characteristics that say otherwise. We have two beautiful teenage children who have been raised believing they are white.

We recently took ancestry tests, and what I believed to be true has been confirmed: My children have 25% African DNA. Since our divorce 12 years ago, my children have been raised very open-minded, and for this reason, I don't believe they will struggle with this new information, but I'm concerned about the questions they will ask, how much information to give them about their grandmother's choices and how to deal with their father, who I know will be furious when he finds out. Please help! -- White Mom

DEAR WHITE MOM: Your children should know their true identity. Start by sharing with them the results of the DNA test. Tell them what you know and that you suspected their father was biracial, though it was never revealed to you. Make it clear to them that your father's family chose to have him live as a white man, so he will likely be unhappy about this revelation. Families have secrets; that doesn’t make them bad people.

Prepare your teenagers to understand that they may not get all of the answers that they may want. They can ask their father about his roots, but who knows what he will share, especially since he wouldn’t tell you?

If it is true that his mother had an extramarital affair that produced your ex-husband, that is a complicated situation that his mother chose not to address. They may not get the satisfaction that they will desire when they start their research, but it is worth a try to learn more about their heritage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 77 now. Forty-six years ago, I had the opportunity to have a nose job. To this day, I have NO regrets. My nose had a large hump that lowered my self-esteem. Later, when I found a picture of my grandmother, I realized that, unknowingly, the doctor had configured my new nose to the same pleasant shape. I think this was a “God opportunity" afforded to me. May your reader -- of course after having a doctor check the person's health -- feel the relief and comfort that my nose job has given me. Thanks for allowing me to share my story. -- Nose Job

DEAR NOSE JOB: Your story is an inspiration for many who grapple with the question of whether or not to have elective surgery, especially something that can so dramatically change your appearance. I agree with you that if you make the choice for rhinoplasty, it is best that your new nose have a natural look that is reflective of your family lineage, if at all possible. Then it is easier for you to enjoy your refresh without creating the need for too many questions and unnecessary input.

As you point out, having this type of surgery can mean the world to a patient. You are living proof that it can improve your self-esteem. Thank you for sharing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am always shopping. Whether it is for myself or someone else, I find myself gathering items in a store that I see fit to have but may not necessarily need at that point in time. I never go to an event or friend’s home empty-handed, and when it comes to birthdays, I believe that it is always polite to give a gift -- even if small -- if I am celebrating with someone. Every time I pay off my credit card, the next week I find the balance is right back where it was the week before. I’ve come to find that I just buy too often! How do I put a cap on what I buy and stop giving out gifts all the time? Any suggestions? -- Shopaholic

DEAR SHOPAHOLIC: Compulsive shopping is considered to be an addiction, much like excessive drinking, gambling or smoking. It is real and hard to control. This doesn’t mean you should give in to it. Just know that your behavior seems to be out of your control, and you should get help to learn how to alter your behavior. Much like Alcoholics Anonymous, there is an organization that may be able to help you; shopaholicsanonymous.org exists for people just like you. In a community of peers, you can talk about your compulsions and discover healthier options for how to spend your time.

Some people make exhaustive lists of what they need to do and how they intend to spend their money. By following their lists, they set themselves up for the possibility of success. Only what is on the list is allowed for them to do, including what they do with their money. This could include a cap on what you spend on gifts. Consider making gifts yourself as well -- including home-cooked food and handmade cards. Get creative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my mid-30s, and with the quarantine, I began to search for a way to earn a certificate online to start my own business, but I am not sure what direction to go in. I pretty much know everything about cars, mechanics, design and how to sell, but I can't seem to figure out how to focus my plan. What's the best way to start a business? -- Starting a Business

DEAR STARTING A BUSINESS: Write down everything that interests you and what types of opportunities are available in those areas. Figure out where there is a need. I was told years ago by a successful entrepreneur that if you can identify a need and fill it, you will make money. People want their problems solved. As you consider what specifically you want to do, be sure to identify a way to help resolve problems, and your chances for success will increase exponentially.

Since you know you are interested in cars and the mechanical side of things, figure out what you can do in that space that will differentiate you from others in your area. If you can carve out a specialty that will draw clients to you, you automatically create a unique space for yourself. Just make sure that the need you identify has enough potential customers to be sustainable over time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)