DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two dogs and a cat. I know that my life would be much easier if I sold my pets, but I can’t bring myself to do so. I love my pets as if they’re my children.

Recently, my landlord told me that I can either get rid of one of my animals or pay an extra monthly fee of $75. I’m struggling to pay rent as it is. Should I continue to hide my animals from my landlord and risk being evicted? Selling them would be an absolute last resort for me. -- Pet Lover

DEAR PET LOVER: If you do not want to sell or rehome one of your pets, start investigating to see if you have any rights in this situation. First, check your lease. Make sure that there is a legally binding clause that indicates the pet policy. Read it carefully to ensure that your landlord has the right to charge you extra for your pets. If the policy is unclear, do your best to fight for your animals. Promise to keep them under your control at all times and to keep your place tidy.

If you have no rights, your next recourse may be to move. Look around for affordable apartments with welcoming pet policies. Moving can be a drag, but it may be the only way to keep your babies.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep hearing rumors from the other tenants in my apartment building about my landlord being a racist. My landlord is an older white gentleman, and the other tenants in my building are mostly white as well. I am a young black woman, and I don’t take kindly to racism. My landlord is otherwise pretty mild-mannered, but lately I have noticed the microaggressive comments. I’ve locked in for a six-month lease, but that was before I realized that I’m renting from a racist. What do I do? -- Want My Money Back

DEAR WANT MY MONEY BACK: If your landlord is doing or saying things that are negatively impacting you, document everything. If possible, capture video of him when he makes racist comments. You will need a lot of evidence to potentially get out of your lease. If others are also offended by his comments, as you suggest, ask them to join you in recording your landlord’s behavior and lodging a formal complaint against him. You may gain more traction by working together.

Contact a lawyer, and discuss the matter. Bring all documentation that illustrates your allegations. Sadly, many people make racist comments without repercussion.

Hopefully you will be able to prove that you are living with unnecessary distress and need to break your lease. Because you are on a short-term lease anyway, start looking for new housing now. Six months will go by in a blink, and you don’t want to end up with nowhere to live as you fight this battle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in the age group where most of my friends who are lucky enough to still have their parents are now dealing with their major health issues. That includes me. It is hard for me to keep up with everyone to make sure that they and their parents are OK. Just being a supportive friend is getting challenging. I’m worried that I may miss one of my friends who could need a hug or help handling a situation with a parent -- or even worse, a parent dies and I can’t respond fast enough. I need to create a system to keep myself calm and to stay engaged. Do you have any ideas? -- Caring for Elders

DEAR CARING FOR ELDERS: What you can do is make a list of all of your friends who have elderly parents. Put their phone numbers and email addresses with their names in an easily accessible location. Consider making the plan to contact each friend once a week to check in. Sometimes it can be a call. Other times it can be a text or an email. Let them all know that you want to be there to support them. Encourage them to reach out to you as well, so that the burden isn’t solely on you to keep the chain of communication open.

Consider creating a support group among your friends so that you talk weekly or with whatever frequency works for you. This can give all of you an outlet to talk about the changing dynamics of your parents and your relationships with them. Agree to be there for each other without judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: With more and more people getting vaccinated, I have begun to get invitations to meet up with friends. I haven’t done it yet, not so much because of COVID-19, but because I feel self-conscious. I gained a lot of weight during this year, and I don’t want to be judged by others when they see me. How can I get past this fear and embarrassment? -- The COVID 19

DEAR THE COVID 19: You are not alone in your weight gain. Statistics suggest that most people gained 1.5 pounds per month during the past year, some as many as 29 extra pounds. Wherever you are, notice it and decide what you will do for your health to turn the tide. In terms of meeting up with other people, please know that you are not alone. Chances are, you are about to see a lot of people who have packed on some extra pounds. Decide to accept people as they are, just as you want them to do for you. Do not comment on your weight or others’. Just be grateful to be with people -- still wearing masks and safely distanced, even if you have had the vaccine.

You may also want to start a walking group or exercise group where you meet up with people and move your bodies. Many of us need to jumpstart our fitness routines. Now is the time!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think that my dad has misogynistic views. He's always been old-fashioned in his values and beliefs, but now that I'm older, I'm starting to realize how problematic his mindset is. He says things to me such as, “As a woman, you need to learn how to cook and clean not only for yourself, but for your future husband.” I don't understand why that's my duty as a woman. I already know how to cook and clean for myself. He also says things like, “Men prefer a clean house when they come home.” I want to call him out on it. Is this misogynistic, or am I overreacting? -- Change Your Views

DEAR CHANGE YOUR VIEWS: Your father is telling you what he learned growing up. Is it old-fashioned? Yes. Is it misogynistic? I'm not sure. If he also says that men shouldn’t have to cook or clean, that this is solely a woman’s job, that enters into the land of limited, sexist views.

Roles for men and women in society were once clearly delineated. That has changed for many people. In some households, men do all the cooking. In others, men are excellent at keeping house. For some couples and families, shared responsibilities make it possible for all of the chores to get done.

While it is wise for you to master all of the tasks that keep a home in order, you should not feel that you have to be the woman extraordinaire who does everything so her husband doesn’t have to do anything. Instead, as a couple, you can work out who does what. That also means you should choose a partner who wants to share the weight.

There’s no need to argue with your father. You can tell him that your intention is to marry a man who wants to be your partner, and that includes being an active participant in taking care of your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend never wants to come out with me to any social events. I know it sounds like it makes sense because of the pandemic and everything, but even before that, she couldn't be bothered to come with me to large gatherings. She's totally fine hanging out when it's just the two of us, but when other people are involved, she never wants to tag along. My mom suggested that it could be a form of social anxiety. If that's the case, I would love to help her come out of her shell a little bit. I always go with her to her social events. What do I do? I don't want to force her into positions where she's uncomfortable, but how will she ever get comfortable if she doesn't try? -- Extrovert

DEAR EXTROVERT: When you go with her to her events, how many people are there? What makes her comfortable there? Do you have any events that are of equal size and composition? Perhaps if you invite her to smaller social events that are on your calendar, she may be willing to try them out.

Also, as an extrovert, when you go to your events, are you the life of the party? Do you stick with your friend? If she is an introvert, she may feel overwhelmed or intimidated if you become the center of attention when she prefers to remain quiet. Evaluate the situation so that you can figure out how best to create a great experience for both of you. It may also be true that this friend isn’t the right person to accompany you to certain events. Pay attention so that you can figure that out and invite accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)