DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend or family member who wrote me an anonymous note telling me that I should teach my 13-year-old son to have better hygiene. I opened my mailbox last week and found it, and I started crying. My family and I live on a farm, and my son loves to spend a lot of time with our pigs, cows and goats. He loves taking care of them every day because they are his pride and joy. As a result of this, he and his clothes often end up having a distinct scent on them from the animals. He tries to get it off of him, but it sticks.
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I am offended and upset that someone wouldn’t have the guts to tell me to my face. Instead, they chose to leave a note without signing their name. I now feel as if I can’t trust the people around me anymore, and I feel as if it could’ve been anyone from my life. How am I supposed to find out who did this and confront them? -- My Son’s Hygiene
DEAR MY SON’S HYGIENE: I’m sorry, but I think you are looking at this through the wrong lens. It isn’t that the person lacks courage. I believe the message was delivered anonymously so that you can seriously address this situation rather than get in a rage over the messenger. Stop trying to figure out who wrote it. Start getting creative on helping your teen son learn how to take better care of his body and clothing as he continues to love his animals.
This may mean separating what clothes he can wear when handling the animals -- including washing and storing them separately as well. Find a stronger soap for him to bathe his body. Ask some of your male farmer friends what they recommend for cleanliness. This is not a new problem for farmers. Somebody should have solutions you can try. Forgive the messenger, and receive the message.