DEAR HARRIETTE: I've known I was gay since I was a teenager, but I only recently came out to my family and close friends. It was a huge relief to be open about my identity, but now I'm facing a lot of judgment. My family comes from a military background, and they have made it clear that they do not approve of my sexuality. Despite their love for me, they continually express disappointment and disapproval, urging me to reconsider my “lifestyle choices.” Every gathering, the topic of my sexuality always comes up, and it often leads to tense and hurtful conversations. My parents emphasize their beliefs and express concern about how others in our community might perceive our family. They suggest that I should try to change or keep my sexuality private to avoid conflict and judgment. I love my family and want to maintain a relationship with them, but their lack of acceptance is causing me a lot of pain. I’m feeling lost on how to proceed. -- Awaiting Acceptance
Advertisement
DEAR AWAITING ACCEPTANCE: Your family may never fully accept you as you are. You cannot control that, nor should you try to change who you are. To find peace in your life, you need to create community with others who accept you for who you are. That doesn’t mean you excommunicate yourself from your family. Instead, it means you seek out a chosen family of people who welcome you and support you.