DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 29 years old, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few years now. We have a great relationship; however, his work-life balance has been an issue. My boyfriend works long hours and is often preoccupied with his job, even during our personal time together. While I understand that his career is important and allows him to provide for us financially, I’m worried about the future. I’ve always envisioned getting married and having children, and I want to start a family soon. Given his current work habits, will he be able to be present in our children’s lives or be an active partner in raising them?
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I’ve tried to bring this up with him a few times, but the conversations haven’t led to any meaningful changes. I love him and appreciate all that he does for us, but I also need a partner who will be there for our family in more than just a financial capacity. I’m struggling to decide whether I should continue to hope for change, or if it’s time to move on and find someone whose lifestyle aligns more closely with my own aspirations for family life. -- Will He Change?
DEAR WILL HE CHANGE?: Talk to your partner frankly. Ask him if he wants a family, and if he will be willing to adjust his schedule once you have children. Tell him you are worried that he will be an absent father, and that’s a deal-breaker for you. Listen and observe. His words and actions will tell you.