DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I co-manage our family business, a local bakery. We’re clashing over its direction: I prefer to maintain our traditional baking techniques and recipes, which have served us well for years. She wants to import and sell modern, trendy breads from other shops to diversify our offerings. In short, she wants to hop on trends like fast fashion clothing. I’m concerned this could dilute our brand, which is known for its traditional, home-cooked breads that our loyal customers love. Our parents already passed away, so the decision comes from the two of us. How can we find a compromise that respects our brand identity while exploring new opportunities? -- Maintaining Brand

DEAR MAINTAINING BRAND: Talk to your sister about your bakery’s brand identity. What do each of you believe the bakery stands for, and where do you want it to go in the future? Write down key words and thoughts to help you draw out your understanding of its value.

I’m not sure what the fast fashion correlation is to the baking industry, but if your sister can find high-quality baked goods to complement your bakery, that may not be bad. Perhaps she can curate a section of the store with exotic finds while the rest of the bakery is dedicated to the classics your loyal customers know and love. Compromise can be a good thing!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Even though it’s only the middle of September, I am the type of homeowner who loves decorating for any holiday, so I’m preparing for Christmas now. Although excited, I’m forced to tone down my display because my neighbors expressed concern about the large blow-ups and lights I put up last year. They feel it’s excessive and affects the neighborhood’s aesthetics. I live in the suburbs where they all like green and beige. I want to be considerate of my neighbors, but I enjoy creating festive displays so much. What would be the wisest course of action for this? -- Festive Enthusiast

DEAR FESTIVE ENTHUSIAST: What if you go all out in an aesthetic that better matches your neighborhood? For instance, you could create a design featuring a monochromatic look with the same scale of lights and ornaments. Staying in the green and beige trend of your community, select an array of lights and other elements that bring your dynamic vision to life without drawing too much attention by reducing the display of color. This will show your neighbors that you are listening to them and wanting to be in alignment with the community’s values as you also intend to continue to be more dramatic than they may be.

You don’t want to ignite a war with them, even though you do have every right to decorate your property as you choose. Think about the big picture as you make your decisions. Remember that you chose to move into a more sedate suburban neighborhood. It is important for you to learn the unwritten rules of your environment and determine how you can become part of it rather than being oblivious to where you are. You don’t want a holiday display to ruin your relationship with your neighbors for years to come.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just dropped my daughter off at college last week, and she’s already asking me to come back and pick her up. She’s saying that college isn’t for her, but she hasn’t even started classes yet. This has been an emotional time for both of us as I am a single mom and she is my only daughter. She’s always been introverted and has struggled with making friends, so I knew the transition to college life would be challenging for her. She’s been texting and calling me constantly, saying she feels overwhelmed, lonely and completely out of place. Part of me wants to rush over there, bring her home and make everything better, but I also know that she needs to figure out this new chapter in her life. How can I best support my daughter during this tough time? What should I say or do to help her feel more comfortable and give college a fair chance? -- Separation Anxiety

DEAR SEPARATION ANXIETY: Your job as a mother is to teach your child how to be independent and take care of herself. This is a tough moment, but it is essential for your daughter to learn how to be away from you and still thrive. Unless you fear that she is unsafe, stand your ground and cheer for her from a distance. Assure her that this difficult moment will pass. Encourage her to lean into her studies and find extracurricular activities to occupy the rest of her time. She can consider student government, arts or science clubs, or even getting an on-campus job. She should find things to do that put her in the company of other students so that she is forced to interact with them. Over time, she will meet people who share her interests, but it won’t happen if you allow her to flee school and come home to Mommy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend’s parents and I used to be on very good terms; I often spent the weekends at their house. However, the situation changed when my boyfriend’s mother, “Marie,” read a conversation between his brother’s girlfriend, “Lisa,” and me. My boyfriend’s brother, “Nick,” has three sons with Lisa, but he contributes little financially and spends all his money on alcohol. After their last big fight, which led to their breakup, Lisa confided in me. I advised her to take Nick to family court to seek child support. Somehow, Marie got ahold of a screenshot of our conversation. She then proceeded to message me, calling me names such as traitor and ungrateful, and said I am no longer welcome at their home. I feel extremely sad about the whole situation and want to mend things. Is there anything I can do to resolve this? -- Family Situation

DEAR FAMILY SITUATION: While it is unfortunate that Marie saw your text, you didn’t say the wrong thing -- her son should step up and accept responsibility for his family. Perhaps the whole family needs a wake-up call. It is not OK for alcohol or any other distractions to prevent him from supporting his children.

You can apologize to Marie for hurting her feelings as you also point out that there is a crisis occurring in the family that needs to be addressed. You may lose your relationship if your boyfriend doesn’t stand beside you on this, but you will have stood up for what’s right.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling out with a friend recently, and I’m not sure if I want to continue the relationship at all. She is probably a certifiable narcissist. Everything revolves around her. She needs to be the center of attention -- always. She revels in making quips about everyone and everything, and her comments are often biting.

I know this about her, but she crossed the line when she started talking about my son. I believe our families and certainly our children should be off-limits when it comes to making jokes at others’ expense. When I challenged her on this, she doubled down, saying that what she had said about my son was true, so what’s the big deal, even though it was unkind. Maybe I am being petty. Maybe I am crazy to be friends with this woman at all. I am a positive person, and she is very negative, though she doesn’t think that about herself.

I know I cannot change people, but I don’t appreciate someone bad-mouthing my child. Should I cut her off? When I spoke to her about it, she brushed it off and took no real responsibility for her words. -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: You have to decide how much is too much and what you are going to do about it. You already knew what this woman was like based on how she talked about other people. It was only a matter of time before her vitriol would be pointed at you and yours. If that was the last straw for you, so be it. You probably don’t need to tell her. You can just stop inviting her to spend time with you, stop accepting her invitations to hang out and limit your exposure to her. Why do I say that? If she doesn’t understand that insulting your son was taking her comments too far, chances are, she won’t have a sense of why you would cut her off. Don’t waste your breath; just change your actions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been asked to co-author a book with a colleague for a company project, which is super exciting but also nerve-wracking because we have totally different writing styles and creative visions. I really want this collaboration to work out, but I'm feeling a bit anxious about how we can merge our ideas in a way that respects each other's contributions and keeps the partnership productive. Do you have any advice on how to work this out and make sure we create something awesome together? I'd appreciate any insights you have on this! -- Co-Author Collaboration

DEAR CO–AUTHOR COLLABORATION: Sometimes collaborating writers take on different chapters so that their contributions do not have to turn into one singular voice. You may consider that as a practical option. Still, you will have to come to terms on the structure and focus of the book together. You may want to invite a member of your team to serve as an editor -- or referee -- to help you establish an outline and help decide who does what.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)