DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently become part of a new social cooking group, and while I have been enjoying the sense of community and shared passion for food, I have noticed that some members have been sharing my recipes and personal cooking techniques online without my consent, just changing up small details like switching basil leaves to onions. While I appreciate their enthusiasm and excitement about my creations, I value my privacy when it comes to my recipes. I would like to find a way to address this issue with the group without making it a big deal. Women tend to gossip a lot, and I do not want to be labeled harshly. -- Recipe Sharing

DEAR RECIPE SHARING: Now is the time to speak up and be direct about your thoughts. Tell your new friends how much you enjoy cooking with them and learning and growing together. Point out, though, that you noticed that some of them are posting your recipe hacks on social media -- with a twist here and there -- and you do not feel comfortable with that. You thought that this cooking group was a safe space to explore and grow together. But you do not consent to having your recipes appear in a public forum. This could cause a bit of a ripple, but if you don’t say something, you may regret it.

Encourage the group to check in with each other in general before posting recipes unless they are uniquely their own. Consider if you would be up for a cookbook or online cooking forum where you all post your creations. There is a way to remedy this and not completely shut down the draw to post. There need to be boundaries around attribution and permission to post.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice is usually sensible and thoughtful, so I was surprised by your advice to the woman whose mother-in-law made cruel comments about her acne, “Bad Skin, Tender Heart.” Your first suggestion is to find out what’s going on with her skin? The mother-in-law’s comments are the problem! She should firmly tell her mother-in-law not to remark on her skin, her husband should do the same and they should limit their contact with her if she continues. Even if not intended, your message was that if her skin were better or her MIL understood the problem, she would be nicer. That shouldn’t be the case. -- Think Twice

DEAR THINK TWICE: Thank you for your comments about my response to the woman who was being bullied by her mother-in-law. You bring out a crucial point that I absolutely did not address well. No matter what is going on with the daughter-in-law, it is not OK for the mother-in-law -- or anybody else -- to comment on her appearance. That should have been my first and more important point.

You know what they say about unintended consequences. Here’s a moment where I thought I was addressing the writer who is suffering from a medical condition and wanting to help her in that way when what I should have addressed first was the inappropriate behavior -- which is why she wrote to me. Thanks for pointing that out!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old teenage daughter landed a part-time job this semester, and I can tell she's really feeling the pressure of trying to juggle work, school and her social life all at once. I want to support her independence and growth, but I can see how stressed out she is getting. I'm trying to figure out how to help her balance this workload without swooping in and taking over everything. I want to be there for her and guide her without stepping on her toes, making sure she learns what commitment means. What would you suggest is the best approach for this? -- Teen Work-Life

DEAR TEEN WORK-LIFE: My advice is to step back and allow your daughter to figure it out for herself. If you helicopter parent her, she will not learn how to deal with mistakes, how to manage time or how to get up when she falls down. She has to live her life and experience these things in order to learn and grow. Yes, it might be hard for you to keep your mouth shut if you notice her slipping up on occasion. But you need to give her space to live her life and experience these things.

That doesn’t mean you completely say nothing, but it does mean that you aren’t there course correcting at every turn. Let your daughter know that you are always there for her when she needs you, but you want her to learn how to manage her life herself. This experience will be an invaluable lesson for her future, and letting her do it on her own is a gift.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new workout routine at the gym, and I've run into a situation with one of the regulars. This person keeps giving me unsolicited advice and corrections about my form during my workouts. I know he means well, but it can feel intrusive and even discouraging. I'm all for improving my form and getting the most out of my workouts, but I want to find a way to address this situation politely without causing any awkwardness. How can I address this situation respectfully and maintain a positive gym environment? -- Unsolicited Gym Advice

DEAR UNSOLICITED GYM ADVICE: I can only imagine how annoying that person is to you, no matter how well-meaning. You may want to engage a trainer at the gym for a few weeks so that this person can see that you are getting professional help -- and to ensure that you are doing your workout correctly and not hurting yourself. When you stop seeing the professional, if the other gymgoer jumps back in to offer advice, you can say thank you, but you are following the lessons from your instructor.

You can also just say thank you for wanting to help you, but you want to work out alone. Put on headphones and play music. When the person comes over, you can nod but not listen to the advice. If you ignore him, eventually he will go away.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 26-year-old freelance writer who’s been struggling to find a steady stream of clients and projects. A few months ago, a friend generously offered to refer me to someone in his network, but they have started making demands for quick turnarounds and extra revisions beyond what was initially agreed upon. They often communicate the edit requests through my friend, so I feel unable to say no. He is a good friend, but he tends to be on the stricter side when it concerns work. I want to maintain a professional relationship as I appreciate the referral, but I need to manage my workload effectively. How can I address this client’s extra demands without jeopardizing my chance for more clients from my friend? -- Freelance Client

DEAR FREELANCE CLIENT: This is tricky. Since you were without steady work for some time, you may want to stick with the struggle and stretch yourself a bit longer to establish deeper ties with your friend’s community of clients. You may become the go-to writer because you are willing to turn around extra edits when others might balk. Yes, it may be challenging to manage, but I think it could be worth it to build the reputation of being the person who gets the job done no matter what.

You can also speak to your friend after your reputation of being excellent is solidified and ask him to help you establish some boundaries around workflow. Point out that you are delivering work in an effective manner, and in order to continue optimally, you need to manage expectations.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old man who always makes a conscious effort to adopt a healthier lifestyle through better eating habits and regular gym sessions. However, my girlfriend tends to gravitate toward junk food and a more sedentary routine. I met her before she fell into this lifestyle. We used to be so in sync with our health. I don't want to impose the old habits on her, but I find it difficult to stay motivated and committed to my health goals when surrounded by unhealthy choices at home. Furthermore, my girlfriend gets upset when I decline to eat out with her, especially when she suggests fast food options that don't align with my health goals. How do I find a way to balance my personal health journey in this situation? -- Healthy Living

DEAR HEALTHY LIVING: Have a serious conversation with your girlfriend about her eating and health choices�. Point out that you have always been committed to your health and thought she was, too. Tell her you don’t mean to hurt her feelings when you don’t agree to eat fast food or sit around, but that is not the life you want, and you are unwilling to do that with her. Invite her to join you in becoming more active and making wiser choices about her health.

You are young. As you think about your future, consider if your girlfriend is the right partner for you. While you do not have to share all the same interests, it would be helpful to share similar values and goals around how you live.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)