DEAR READERS: I had a baby three months ago, and now it’s time for me to go back to work. The thought of being away from my child is filling me with dread. I’ve used up all of my maternity leave and vacation time, so staying home longer isn’t an option through work. I love my career, but the idea of leaving my baby in someone else’s care feels overwhelming. I’ve been considering talking to my husband about quitting my job so I can stay home full-time and take care of our child. My husband makes enough to provide for the family, but it may be tight at times if we drop down to one income. I’m torn between wanting to be present for my baby and the fear of what this will mean for our financial stability and my career down the line.

How can I approach this conversation with my husband, and how do I make the best decision for both my family and myself? I want to be sure I’m not acting purely on emotion, but it’s so hard to think logically when I feel this strong pull to stay home with my baby. -- Baby Love

DEAR BABY LOVE: Maternal instinct is real and can be incredibly powerful. Do not ignore it. Talk to your husband about your feelings and concerns. Go over your budget, and discuss whether you can swing being home for a period of time and living on one income.

If you make this decision, you can think of different windows of time for going back to work. Kindergarten typically begins at age 5, though pre-K can start as early as 3. When your child goes to school, you can investigate extended care after school, which could allow you to work, perhaps not in your current field, but in something with more flexible hours.

Many mothers take off extended periods when their children are young. It can be a struggle to jump back into the workforce, but if you make a strategy now, it can help you down the line. Being open to other types of employment is key to expanding your options.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at an electronics company where, during a lunch break, one of my co-workers mentioned plans to leave for a better-paying job at another company. I suspect that the co-worker is trying to influence others to leave as well. I feel conflicted about what to do. On one hand, I feel that management should know if there’s a potential risk of employees leaving. On the other hand, I worry about interfering in my co-workers' decisions and potentially damaging trust. I’m unsure if reporting the conversation is the right move. Should I tell my manager or mind my own business? -- Divided Loyalties

DEAR DIVIDED LOYALTIES: At the moment, it sounds like what you were listening to was employees batting about a few ideas -- nothing elevated enough to report to management. It is not your place to share what is basically gossip. If you get any indication that your co-workers are moving toward a group exodus, you can mention that discreetly. One employee leaving is part of the normal course of business, and grumbling with co-workers about the job is extremely common. Stay out of the fray as you continue to listen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a clandestine relationship with a guy for most of this year. We hit if off after meeting on the street. We had a lot of fun together, but I always felt like I was putting forth more effort than him. One day I confronted him about not being more responsive, and he quipped back that if I wanted to be with him, I had to accept that he sometimes doesn’t turn on his phone and can go MIA -- too bad if I don’t like it. That’s how he is. I was taken aback by his comment. He accepted no responsibility for not being attentive. That’s when I stopped being as available to him.

Recently, I got fed up with him not answering my texts or calls for days on end and called it quits, but I realize that I miss him. We did have a lot of fun together when we were talking or in each other’s company. Should I reach out to him and ask to get together? I’m not sure if I can be OK with what he is willing to give since I am a little bit needy. Do you think I can get him to see the value in paying closer attention to me? -- Missing My Guy

DEAR MISSING MY GUY: Your letter brings up a lot of questions: Why was your relationship clandestine? Why did it have to be a secret? It seems that he was always elusive. You tolerated that for some time, but ultimately, it turned you off. What makes you think he will change if you go back? Has he demonstrated any behavior that shows you he is willing to adjust to make you happy?

If you are willing to accept him on his terms and be prepared to have fun with him when he is available, call him. Otherwise, cut your losses. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a “friend” who contacts me only when she needs something. She will text or call, acting like she wants to check in on me and then, like clockwork, she almost immediately tells me about something that she is doing and how I can support her. I didn’t figure out her pattern for some time, but now it is obvious to me. Sometimes I don’t have a problem with it, as I like to help people, but it's clear now that she isn’t really a friend.

I’m having a party soon and making the guest list. It is not a large event -- mostly close friends. She is on the periphery of this group. I don’t really want to invite her, but I know she will find out about it. Should I add her to the list just to avoid hurt feelings? -- Guest List

DEAR GUEST LIST: If your party is for good friends, review the potential list of attendees and cross off anyone who doesn’t fit that category -- period. Why add her if she doesn’t deserve to be on the list? Unless you feel there is some political reason why you should invite her, don’t. You need to draw the line about who deserves to be in your inner circle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend “Fred’s” daughter’s birthday was approaching, and her friends wanted to surprise her. All of her friends met and shared their ideas for what to do. When her birthday arrived, they surprised her with balloons and food. To everyone’s surprise, one of the guests blew out the candle for the birthday girl, which made her upset. She cried a lot, and Fred got angry at the kid because it was his daughter’s birthday, not theirs. How should Fred have approached the situation since it was just a kid, and she may not have fully understood what she had done? -- Inappropriate Behavior

DEAR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR: You haven’t said how old Fred’s daughter is, but you have described the friend group as “kids.” My advice to Fred is to let it go. Of course it was not appropriate for the friend to blow out the birthday girl’s candle, but who knows why this happened? Perhaps that child has never had a birthday cake. Maybe that’s the kid who is needy for attention. It could be anything. In the moment, the correct response would have been to relight the candle, let the right kid blow it out and keep the party moving.

Rather than focusing on reprimanding that child, Fred should highlight the great things that happened. His daughter’s friends were incredibly thoughtful as they chose to plan a celebration for her. Fred can point out all of the details that went into the party and relish in how happy that made everyone. If Fred’s daughter brings up the violation, Fred can suggest that they forgive the child and remember instead all of the good things about her special day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was applying for a position as a hotel receptionist, and one of the other applicants mentioned that she was just 15 years old. She said she had received an application from management -- despite being underage -- because she is pretty and talented, meeting their high-standard requirements. I told her that it is against the law, but I am unsure of what to do since I know she really needs the job to support her family, while at the same time I am aware that underage individuals are not allowed to work. Please give me some advice on what I should do. -- Underage Employment

DEAR UNDERAGE EMPLOYMENT: I suggest that you not get involved in that person’s employment process. I sense that you feel threatened as this teenager may be up for the same job you have applied for -- and she may win the job based on her appearance. While that, in and of itself, is a form of discrimination, it is unlikely that you will win a fight on those grounds. Instead, you will make it even less likely that you will get hired. Is that fair? No, but since right now you need a job, set your sights on that.

As hard as it is to believe, the federal Fair Labor Standards Act sets 14 as the minimum age to work. Though some states have different age requirements for work, 14 is the baseline. That means that there might not be anything wrong with a 15-year-old applying for the same role as you; however, many employers simply choose not to hire teens.

Additionally, many people skirt age requirements as they are looking for work and hiring. This topic deserves examination, to be sure. That said, this doesn’t seem to be your battle right now. Pivot away from that young lady and toward your own future. Unless you believe she will be in danger if she is offered the job, don’t make her potential employment your issue.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)