DEAR HARRIETTE: Ever since I was a child, my mom never liked to throw anything away, whether it was old clothes, expired food, broken appliances or even random junk mail. At the time, I thought it was just her being quirky or frugal, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized it’s much more than that. Now, at 28 years old, I’m starting to see how bad the situation really is. Her house is no longer livable; every room is packed with clutter from floor to ceiling, and it’s hard to walk through without stepping over piles of stuff. She still insists on holding on to everything, saying that it might be useful “someday.” The reality is that most of it is garbage.

It breaks my heart to see her living like this, especially since she’s now alone in the house. I’m her only daughter, and I feel an immense responsibility to help her, but I don’t know where to start. Whenever I bring up the idea of cleaning or organizing, she gets defensive or even angry. She doesn’t seem to recognize how dangerous this has become -- not just for her physical health, but also for her mental well-being. How can I approach this without making her feel judged or attacked? -- Mom the Hoarder

DEAR MOM THE HOARDER: It is time to seek professional help. An intervention from a therapist who specializes in hoarding disorder may be the best next step. Find a therapist in your area who will come to do a site visit and chat with your mother. The journey toward healing is long, and she may be angry at first, but if you can get her to talk to someone outside the family, it may provide some help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am obsessed with watching TV. I will binge-watch anything. I wake up in the morning and turn on the TV, and the next thing you know, half the day is gone, and I can’t account for the time. I tell myself often to get a few chores done before I turn on the TV, but that resolve doesn’t last very long. Once the TV is on, my plans seem to dissipate. I work from home and manage to get my work done, but only the bare minimum. I have even missed a few deadlines here and there because I couldn’t stop watching until a series ended. How can I break this habit? -- TV Addict

DEAR TV ADDICT: You have to decide what your priorities are. Each night, write out a list of things to do the next day. When you wake up, execute your plan. Include TV time on the list, but keep it later in the day, after your responsibilities are completed. Be strict with yourself. Do not turn on the TV until the appointed hour -- and only if you have completed all of your tasks in advance. Make TV a reward rather than a crutch.

Another important recommendation: Do not have a TV in the room where you work. Consider that a safe zone. Don’t slip up and use your computer or phone as a streaming device. You have to be honest with yourself, or you will not be successful.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago, and it left me feeling heartbroken and confused. He said he wasn’t sure about our relationship anymore, and while he didn’t give a lot of specifics, it was clear he had doubts. I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to process everything, feeling sad and wondering what went wrong. Then, out of the blue, he reached out and asked if we could get back together. Now I’m feeling even more confused. I still have strong feelings for him, and part of me wants to say yes because I miss him. But I can’t ignore the fact that he was the one who ended things. If he had doubts about us a few weeks ago, how do I know he won’t have those same feelings again? I’m torn between wanting to give him and our relationship another chance and protecting myself from possibly being hurt again. I worry that jumping back in so soon might mean we’re ignoring the deeper issues that caused him to leave in the first place. Should I ask him to explain why he’s had this sudden change of heart? -- Take Him Back

DEAR TAKE HIM BACK: Under no circumstances should you take him back without fully understanding what happened. You should be suspicious and guarded. Investigate the situation. Interrogate him. Why did he leave you in the first place? Did something happen? Was there someone else? Did someone in his life try to turn him against you? Find out what it was. Don’t let him brush it off. He owes you this explanation even if the two of you don’t get back together.

Then ask him why you should trust him now. What is different? How can you be sure that he won’t hurt you again? As you listen to whatever he has to say, remain guarded. He was willing to crush your feelings and then attempt to yo-yo back to you. I find that suspicious. You are probably better off staying away and creating space to find someone who will be more respectful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like such a loser. I lost my job last year, and I haven’t been able to find anything since. I am professionally trained, but it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. I am wondering if I should try to get one of these hourly clerical jobs that I see online. I am a little nervous, though, because I’m not sure if I can trust them. How do you know if a job is legitimate? -- On the Hunt

DEAR ON THE HUNT: Do as much research as you can on the company in question before signing up. Look for employment reviews; glassdoor.com is a good resource. Check with the Better Business Bureau. Do not give any company money. Ask for your paycheck to be mailed to you at first, rather than giving your bank account information. Most important: If it feels wrong, don’t do it. Jobs that come with references often seem safer. Before you give up, ask around in your neighborhood and community to see what options you may have missed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! We are here at the beginning of a new page in the history of our lives. This can be an exciting time -- especially if you embrace it as a moment when possibilities stand before your eyes. Look through the lens of potential this year. What do you want for yourself and for your loved ones? Pause to reflect on all of the experiences you had that led you to this moment. I believe in writing all of those things down. What were last year’s highlights? The great things and the challenges? How did you weather the storms and handle the victories? Who are the people you want to engage with in 2025, and who can be connections of the past?

As you think about these things, give yourself grace. No matter what happened last year, the fact that you are blessed to be here now means you have the opportunity to write a new chapter of your story. What do you want to title this chapter? What big goals do you have that you want to manifest? I have learned that when you name things specifically, you create space to make them happen. It can be scary to claim your dreams, but I assure you that when you do and you proceed to work on them, amazing things happen. When you set your mind to something and commit to working on it a little bit each day, over time you get to witness your ideas bear fruit.

I will give you one example that will likely resonate for many of us. At the beginning of last year, I had a serious injury that required surgery. I was incapacitated for about six weeks followed by six months of physical therapy. I wasn’t particularly fit, and this set me back further. Along the way, I was working with a therapist and bemoaning my situation. She said to me that I had to change something. I chose to change my health. Making that simple mindset shift began a process that has been beneficial for me. In the midst of healing from surgery, I adopted a new attitude toward what I put in my body. I am happy to report that I have lost more than 20 pounds this past year, thanks to perseverance and commitment. For 2025, I have reupped my intention to continue on the path toward wellness.

I tell you this as my example of something I said I would do, and I did it. For context, I had been trying to lose weight for years, and nothing was budging. The mindset shift was essential to my success. This year, I have a few other goals on my list that are personal and business-related. I recommend that you do the same. Assess your life, and decide how you want to live it. Then take action. One day at a time. It can work. You are worth it!

By the way, when you slip up or lose focus, just recommit when you realize you are off course. Life is a journey. Make the choice to savor each day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)