DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter dropped out during her freshman year of college. She struggled academically her first semester, and she has decided not to go back. I’m terrified for her future because I’ve always believed that in order to have a stable and successful career, a college degree is essential. I know that not everyone takes a traditional path, but without any sort of plan or direction, I worry she’s setting herself up for failure or hardship.

She’s completely unmotivated. She spends most of her time at home, scrolling on her phone or hanging out with friends. When I try to talk to her about what she wants to do next, she shuts me out or says she doesn’t know. I’ve encouraged her to look into community college, even just to get her general education credits done while she figures out what she wants to do, but she seems uninterested. I feel like I’m walking a fine line between supporting her and pushing her too hard, but I can’t sit by and do nothing. How can I help her find some direction and get back on her feet without making her feel like I’m being overbearing? -- What’s Next?

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT: Your daughter has to figure out her life for herself. You can help her see her options, including the reality check of how much it costs to be independent and what most jobs pay. Give her a timeline for getting a job and contributing to household expenses. This should be a wake-up call so that she doesn’t continue hiding out. Encourage her to research work and career options and her earning potential. It will take time, but she will have to do the work herself. You have to be patient now -- and be clear about what you will and will not do for her in terms of paying her way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started dating a guy who is really nice but old-school. He told me that where he comes from (West Africa), men do not cook, and the expectation is that men work, bring home the money, give their wives sex and the women do everything else. I am American, and I grew up believing that husbands and wives share in all of the duties of the home and life. This came up because I was telling him that I thought he should learn how to cook and, moreover, that cooking with your partner can be fun. He immediately shot that down, saying that in his culture, that is unheard of.

I like this guy, but I’m worried that he is so rooted in his traditions that he has no space for mine. He even said if we end up together, he assumes that I will do what is traditional in his culture. Do I walk away now, or attempt to negotiate with him about how we might live together if things work out? -- Traditions Clash

DEAR TRADITIONS CLASH: This man has told you who he is and what he values. You have told him the same. Now it’s time for frank conversations about whether you two think there is a chance. Ask him directly about his willingness to be more open to some of your cultural beliefs. Talk openly about values and traditions. Find out everything you can about his expectations of a wife, and decide if you can live with that. You must realize that if he is anchored in his culture with his family, there may not be space for yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Ever since I was a child, my mom never liked to throw anything away, whether it was old clothes, expired food, broken appliances or even random junk mail. At the time, I thought it was just her being quirky or frugal, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized it’s much more than that. Now, at 28 years old, I’m starting to see how bad the situation really is. Her house is no longer livable; every room is packed with clutter from floor to ceiling, and it’s hard to walk through without stepping over piles of stuff. She still insists on holding on to everything, saying that it might be useful “someday.” The reality is that most of it is garbage.

It breaks my heart to see her living like this, especially since she’s now alone in the house. I’m her only daughter, and I feel an immense responsibility to help her, but I don’t know where to start. Whenever I bring up the idea of cleaning or organizing, she gets defensive or even angry. She doesn’t seem to recognize how dangerous this has become -- not just for her physical health, but also for her mental well-being. How can I approach this without making her feel judged or attacked? -- Mom the Hoarder

DEAR MOM THE HOARDER: It is time to seek professional help. An intervention from a therapist who specializes in hoarding disorder may be the best next step. Find a therapist in your area who will come to do a site visit and chat with your mother. The journey toward healing is long, and she may be angry at first, but if you can get her to talk to someone outside the family, it may provide some help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am obsessed with watching TV. I will binge-watch anything. I wake up in the morning and turn on the TV, and the next thing you know, half the day is gone, and I can’t account for the time. I tell myself often to get a few chores done before I turn on the TV, but that resolve doesn’t last very long. Once the TV is on, my plans seem to dissipate. I work from home and manage to get my work done, but only the bare minimum. I have even missed a few deadlines here and there because I couldn’t stop watching until a series ended. How can I break this habit? -- TV Addict

DEAR TV ADDICT: You have to decide what your priorities are. Each night, write out a list of things to do the next day. When you wake up, execute your plan. Include TV time on the list, but keep it later in the day, after your responsibilities are completed. Be strict with yourself. Do not turn on the TV until the appointed hour -- and only if you have completed all of your tasks in advance. Make TV a reward rather than a crutch.

Another important recommendation: Do not have a TV in the room where you work. Consider that a safe zone. Don’t slip up and use your computer or phone as a streaming device. You have to be honest with yourself, or you will not be successful.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago, and it left me feeling heartbroken and confused. He said he wasn’t sure about our relationship anymore, and while he didn’t give a lot of specifics, it was clear he had doubts. I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to process everything, feeling sad and wondering what went wrong. Then, out of the blue, he reached out and asked if we could get back together. Now I’m feeling even more confused. I still have strong feelings for him, and part of me wants to say yes because I miss him. But I can’t ignore the fact that he was the one who ended things. If he had doubts about us a few weeks ago, how do I know he won’t have those same feelings again? I’m torn between wanting to give him and our relationship another chance and protecting myself from possibly being hurt again. I worry that jumping back in so soon might mean we’re ignoring the deeper issues that caused him to leave in the first place. Should I ask him to explain why he’s had this sudden change of heart? -- Take Him Back

DEAR TAKE HIM BACK: Under no circumstances should you take him back without fully understanding what happened. You should be suspicious and guarded. Investigate the situation. Interrogate him. Why did he leave you in the first place? Did something happen? Was there someone else? Did someone in his life try to turn him against you? Find out what it was. Don’t let him brush it off. He owes you this explanation even if the two of you don’t get back together.

Then ask him why you should trust him now. What is different? How can you be sure that he won’t hurt you again? As you listen to whatever he has to say, remain guarded. He was willing to crush your feelings and then attempt to yo-yo back to you. I find that suspicious. You are probably better off staying away and creating space to find someone who will be more respectful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like such a loser. I lost my job last year, and I haven’t been able to find anything since. I am professionally trained, but it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. I am wondering if I should try to get one of these hourly clerical jobs that I see online. I am a little nervous, though, because I’m not sure if I can trust them. How do you know if a job is legitimate? -- On the Hunt

DEAR ON THE HUNT: Do as much research as you can on the company in question before signing up. Look for employment reviews; glassdoor.com is a good resource. Check with the Better Business Bureau. Do not give any company money. Ask for your paycheck to be mailed to you at first, rather than giving your bank account information. Most important: If it feels wrong, don’t do it. Jobs that come with references often seem safer. Before you give up, ask around in your neighborhood and community to see what options you may have missed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)