DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been close since high school; however, recently it feels like she’s started to ghost me. She doesn’t answer my calls anymore, and when she does respond to my texts, her replies are short and vague, as if she doesn’t really want to talk to me. We live in different states now, which makes it harder to stay connected. I can’t just drop by to check on her, and that distance makes this situation even more painful. The last time we talked in person, she seemed to be in good spirits, but she did open up about struggling with her mental health. I told her I was there for her no matter what, but now I’m wondering if I did or said something wrong, or if she’s pulling away because she’s dealing with things I don’t fully understand.

I miss her so much, and I hate feeling like our friendship is slipping away. At the same time, I don’t want to pressure her if she’s going through something tough. I just don’t know how to reach out in a way that shows I care without making her feel overwhelmed. Should I give her space and wait for her to come to me, or should I keep trying to reach out and let her know I’m here? -- Besties

DEAR BESTIES: Write your friend a letter and tell her how much you miss her. Tell her you don’t want to lose your close bond even though you no longer live in the same town. Add that you hope that if she needs anything, she will reach out to you or to someone else. Remind her that she is not alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family had a big gathering at Christmas, and we exchanged a lot of gifts. In the end, though, I noticed that my 8-year-old niece got fewer gifts than the rest of the kids. I could tell that she felt uncomfortable about that. It’s not that I think every child should get exactly the same number of packages, but it was obvious that many family members didn’t think about her and instead showered the other kids with lots of stuff. She ended up retreating to a corner of the house and not engaging much with the other children even though they are all cousins and close in age. How can I address this so that it doesn’t happen again? -- Short Shrift

DEAR SHORT SHRIFT: Speak to the other adults in the family and share your observation. Be specific about the division of gifts since they probably did not pay attention. Note that it is important to avoid playing favorites among the children. Of course, parents are expected to shower more gifts upon their own children, but at group holiday gatherings, it is kind and thoughtful to consider all of the children and make sure that they all feel loved and seen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of those people who tries to make a New Year’s resolution just about every year. As you might imagine, it doesn’t usually work. I stay focused for a week or so, but something always distracts me. This year I want to be better.

I really need to lose weight. It’s serious -- for my health. My doctor told me I had to do it, but I have tried losing weight in the past, and it always comes back. How can I approach weight loss differently so that I’m not set up for failure? -- Weight Loss

DEAR WEIGHT LOSS: Start by visiting a nutritionist to figure out the best eating plan for your body and your overall health. What you put into your body is how you start. Pay attention to what you want versus what the professional recommends. Do your best to eat only from the recommended list. That alone can make a huge difference. Avoid late-night snacking. Remove unhealthy snacks from your home. That way, you can’t fall into temptation. You can’t eat it if it isn’t there!

Next, create some kind of movement plan. Dr. Ian Smith of “The Doctors” told me he recommends that we all consciously add 30 minutes of movement each day. This ensures that no matter what else we do in a day, we have committed to getting our blood flowing for 30 minutes in a row. Believe it or not, many people do not do that. Too many of us are glued to our screens. For your health, you must get up.

Finally, promise yourself that you are worth it. Be gentle with yourself and also committed. Remind yourself each day that you are precious and deserve the best. Then give it to yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I sometimes feel guilty because I still have my mom, while many of my friends have lost both of their parents. I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t mention her when I am talking to friends who don’t have parents, but that feels awkward too. How can I be sensitive to their loss and honor the fact that I still have my mom? -- Want To Be Sensitive

DEAR WANT TO BE SENSITIVE: Take your lead from your friends. Let them introduce what they want to discuss when you chat. When you have special news, such as a big birthday or some other remarkable experience about your mom, do share that with joy. Chances are, even if it pains them a bit to be missing their parents, they will feel happiness for your mom and for you. Make sure your stories are succinct and thoughtful without bragging. If your friends know your mother, they probably do feel that it is a blessing that she is living and are happy to hear good news about her -- just not too often.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My adult siblings and I went on a trip to Italy last month. It was our first time ever traveling outside the United States, so naturally, I was excited about the experience. I thought it was going to be a fun and memorable trip, especially since we all usually get along pretty well. However, I quickly realized that things weren’t going to go as smoothly as I’d hoped.

This was the first time in over 10 years that we’ve spent an extended amount of time together. While we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company during shorter visits or family gatherings, being together for an entire trip brought up a lot of tension. My two older sisters, in particular, were at each other’s throats for most of the vacation. The constant bickering made it hard to enjoy the sights and experiences we were supposed to be sharing. I found myself caught in the middle, trying to mediate and keep the peace, but it was exhausting. I spent more time trying to calm everyone down than I did enjoying the trip. I had hoped this vacation would bring us closer together, but instead, it left me feeling drained and disappointed. Now that we’re back, my siblings want to plan another vacation so we can spend more time together. I love my siblings, but I’m hesitant about planning another big trip together. How can I address the issues that came up without causing more conflict? -- Family Conflict

DEAR FAMILY CONFLICT: You have to discuss this directly with your family. Share your frustrations that stemmed from the constant bickering and tension. Express your reservations about taking another trip together, given how emotionally exhausting it was for you. Ask them to share their experience of the trip and their honest thoughts about doing it again. Invite them to consider how they might behave differently to ensure that there is peace during the trip. Listen. You will learn if it’s worth doing again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I’m constantly giving to others but never have time for myself. I am a single mom. I have a full-time job and help care for my mom. How can I set boundaries and start prioritizing self-care without feeling guilty? -- Juggling

DEAR JUGGLING: As hard as it may seem in the beginning, you need to start putting yourself first. That may mean waking up an hour early to meditate, take a bath, drink tea, do some stretching or otherwise tend to yourself before your household wakes up. Train your family to give you quiet time in the morning and evening -- even if it’s only for a few minutes.

Ask for help. Know that you do not have to do everything alone, even as a single mom. Build a network with others who have similar needs. Arrange to babysit each other’s children and support however it’s needed. Pool your resources when necessary and schedule breaks so that everyone has a chance to decompress.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)