DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for about five months now. When he first asked me to be his girlfriend, he said he was ready for a serious relationship. I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t have any time for me, and I’m questioning whether he’s as committed as he claimed to be. He’s always either working or traveling, and while I understand that his career is demanding, it feels like I’ve been pushed to the back burner. We rarely spend quality time together, and even when we do, I can tell his mind is often elsewhere. He’ll take calls during our dates or cut plans short because of work obligations. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes feel more like an afterthought than a priority in his life.

I’ve tried to bring this up a few times, but his response is always the same: He tells me how much he cares about me and reassures me that things will get better “once work slows down.” The problem is that work never seems to slow down, and I’m left feeling lonely and unfulfilled in the relationship. I don’t want to come across as needy, but I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to want my partner to make time for me. Do you think I should break up with him? -- Distracted Boyfriend

DEAR DISTRACTED BOYFRIEND: It’s time for a heart-to-heart. It is still early in your relationship, but it has been long enough to have a sense of the rhythm you can expect from your boyfriend. Since you are not comfortable with how he engages with you, you must talk about it directly. Explain that you don’t mean to be pushy, but you do expect him to carve out time to pay attention to you. You have to make it clear to him how you want him to show that you are a priority. Then, see if he tries. If you like him enough to see if you have a future, you have to be open and direct with him about what is important to you and what you want from him. Otherwise, he cannot know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a nice guy recently. He and I have had coffee together a few times and have taken walks in the neighborhood. I met him when I was running an errand in my community. Initially, I liked how he asked me to do things that don’t cost anything but time, and our outings have been very pleasant. I discovered the other day that he is unemployed and has been for nearly a year. That’s why he hasn’t invited me out on a proper date. I know these things can happen, but I’m concerned. I don’t hear him talking about pounding the pavement to find a job. I hear more of what sounds like despondency or even depression. I like this guy, but I am not inclined to be his savior. I don’t want to abandon him, but I don’t have the inclination to help him turn his life around. What should I do? -- Met A Man

DEAR MET A MAN: Continue to be kind to this man and encourage him to find a job. Set boundaries around what you will and will not do with him. Be clear about what you want in a relationship -- including character, values and stability. Talk to him about his goals and desires. If you want to be his friend, say as much. It is also okay to kindly wish him well and pivot away.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been close since high school; however, recently it feels like she’s started to ghost me. She doesn’t answer my calls anymore, and when she does respond to my texts, her replies are short and vague, as if she doesn’t really want to talk to me. We live in different states now, which makes it harder to stay connected. I can’t just drop by to check on her, and that distance makes this situation even more painful. The last time we talked in person, she seemed to be in good spirits, but she did open up about struggling with her mental health. I told her I was there for her no matter what, but now I’m wondering if I did or said something wrong, or if she’s pulling away because she’s dealing with things I don’t fully understand.

I miss her so much, and I hate feeling like our friendship is slipping away. At the same time, I don’t want to pressure her if she’s going through something tough. I just don’t know how to reach out in a way that shows I care without making her feel overwhelmed. Should I give her space and wait for her to come to me, or should I keep trying to reach out and let her know I’m here? -- Besties

DEAR BESTIES: Write your friend a letter and tell her how much you miss her. Tell her you don’t want to lose your close bond even though you no longer live in the same town. Add that you hope that if she needs anything, she will reach out to you or to someone else. Remind her that she is not alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family had a big gathering at Christmas, and we exchanged a lot of gifts. In the end, though, I noticed that my 8-year-old niece got fewer gifts than the rest of the kids. I could tell that she felt uncomfortable about that. It’s not that I think every child should get exactly the same number of packages, but it was obvious that many family members didn’t think about her and instead showered the other kids with lots of stuff. She ended up retreating to a corner of the house and not engaging much with the other children even though they are all cousins and close in age. How can I address this so that it doesn’t happen again? -- Short Shrift

DEAR SHORT SHRIFT: Speak to the other adults in the family and share your observation. Be specific about the division of gifts since they probably did not pay attention. Note that it is important to avoid playing favorites among the children. Of course, parents are expected to shower more gifts upon their own children, but at group holiday gatherings, it is kind and thoughtful to consider all of the children and make sure that they all feel loved and seen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of those people who tries to make a New Year’s resolution just about every year. As you might imagine, it doesn’t usually work. I stay focused for a week or so, but something always distracts me. This year I want to be better.

I really need to lose weight. It’s serious -- for my health. My doctor told me I had to do it, but I have tried losing weight in the past, and it always comes back. How can I approach weight loss differently so that I’m not set up for failure? -- Weight Loss

DEAR WEIGHT LOSS: Start by visiting a nutritionist to figure out the best eating plan for your body and your overall health. What you put into your body is how you start. Pay attention to what you want versus what the professional recommends. Do your best to eat only from the recommended list. That alone can make a huge difference. Avoid late-night snacking. Remove unhealthy snacks from your home. That way, you can’t fall into temptation. You can’t eat it if it isn’t there!

Next, create some kind of movement plan. Dr. Ian Smith of “The Doctors” told me he recommends that we all consciously add 30 minutes of movement each day. This ensures that no matter what else we do in a day, we have committed to getting our blood flowing for 30 minutes in a row. Believe it or not, many people do not do that. Too many of us are glued to our screens. For your health, you must get up.

Finally, promise yourself that you are worth it. Be gentle with yourself and also committed. Remind yourself each day that you are precious and deserve the best. Then give it to yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I sometimes feel guilty because I still have my mom, while many of my friends have lost both of their parents. I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t mention her when I am talking to friends who don’t have parents, but that feels awkward too. How can I be sensitive to their loss and honor the fact that I still have my mom? -- Want To Be Sensitive

DEAR WANT TO BE SENSITIVE: Take your lead from your friends. Let them introduce what they want to discuss when you chat. When you have special news, such as a big birthday or some other remarkable experience about your mom, do share that with joy. Chances are, even if it pains them a bit to be missing their parents, they will feel happiness for your mom and for you. Make sure your stories are succinct and thoughtful without bragging. If your friends know your mother, they probably do feel that it is a blessing that she is living and are happy to hear good news about her -- just not too often.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)