DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a sister who is 20 years younger than I am. I’m 30, and she’s only 10 years old. Because of this huge age gap, we’ve never really had a chance to bond or develop a close relationship. While I love her dearly, every time it’s just the two of us, the conversation feels forced and awkward. I don't think either of us is necessarily to blame. She's so much younger, and we’re at completely different stages in life, but it leaves me feeling sad and disconnected.

I go to visit her and my parents often so that we have plenty of opportunities to become closer, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have the kind of sibling bond I’ve seen other people enjoy with their brothers or sisters. I want to find ways to relate to her better and make her feel comfortable around me, but I don’t know where to start. She’s my only sibling, and the thought of us not being close upsets me. How can I help us become closer in our relationship so that we have a stronger bond in the future? -- Sibling Disconnect

DEAR SIBLING DISCONNECT: Your sister is a child, and you do not live together, so you will not have much in common now. Don’t look for that. Instead, be with her when you are together. Listen to her. Invite her to share her world with you. Find out what interests her. Try to remember what you cared about at her age. Share appropriate connecting stories as you remember them.

Expose her to your world. What do you like to do that might interest her? Arts activities, music, books? Show her who you are as she does the same for you. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. She may seem more like a daughter or niece than a sister for a few years, but that’s fine too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant, and my husband and I are arguing about who should be allowed in the delivery room when I give birth. I want only my sister and my mom there along with my husband. He’s the only male I feel comfortable having in the room. My husband, however, has a completely different idea. He wants his mom, dad, sister and even his grandma in the room. To me, that’s just way too many people, and I’m not very close with his family.

I’ve tried to explain that giving birth is an intimate experience and that I need to feel as comfortable and supported as possible. I don’t think he fully understands how exposed and emotional I’ll feel during labor. For him, it seems more about making sure his family doesn’t feel left out, but for me, it’s about creating a safe and calm environment. I want to respect his feelings and include his family in other meaningful ways, but I feel strongly about having only the people I’m most comfortable with in the delivery room. How can we resolve this in a way that respects both of our perspectives without adding unnecessary stress during such an important time? -- Delivery Room

DEAR DELIVERY ROOM: Ask your doctor to speak to your husband to explain optimal conditions for the health and safety of mom and baby. This should help to reinforce that only the smallest group possible should be present. Put your foot down on this -- it is one decision where the dad does not to get to have a say. Invite his family to stay in the waiting room until your baby is born.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a difficult situation with one of my friends, and I don’t know how to handle it. Recently, they cheated on a school exam and got caught. To my surprise, my friend is now accusing me of being involved even though I worked hard and studied diligently for the test. I’ve always prided myself on putting in the effort, staying up late and doing everything I can to achieve good results honestly. But now, because of my friend’s actions, I’m being dragged into a situation I had no part in.

It hurts that my hard work and dedication are being questioned, and even worse, that my friend is trying to shift the blame onto me. I’ve tried to stand my ground and make it clear that I had nothing to do with their cheating, but I’m still feeling the weight of their accusation. I’ve always valued honesty, and it’s frustrating to be linked to something that goes against everything I believe in. -- False Accusations

DEAR FALSE ACCUSATIONS: To clear your name, go to the school authorities and plead your case. Be detailed in describing how you approached the exam. Offer to take it again or to take another exam to prove your knowledge. Admit that the person in question is your friend, but stand fast in declaring that you did not have any knowledge of their cheating. Assure the school leadership that you had nothing to do with this, nor are you comfortable with it now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve always believed in working hard, pouring my energy into providing for my family. I’ve been married for five years, and my wife and I have two children. She stays at home now and cares for them full time. Every day, I push myself, juggling responsibilities and giving my all so that they have everything they need. I’m the breadwinner, and I understand the weight that comes with that role, but there are times when it feels like none of it is truly appreciated. It’s as if they see it as my duty, my obligation, and forget the sacrifices I make because they don’t see them directly. They think it’s just what I’m supposed to do, not realizing the toll it takes on me. It’s hard feeling unseen, especially when you give everything and still feel like you’re not being valued for the effort. -- Unappreciated Efforts

DEAR UNAPPRECIATED EFFORTS: Chances are, your wife feels overwhelmed as well. Being a stay-at-home mom takes a tremendous amount of energy and focus as well. Sounds like the two of you need to talk about responsibilities and duties and come to an understanding of what is required for your family. You both need to be able to see what the other is contributing and that all is valuable. Tell your wife how you are feeling and let her know that sometimes you feel unsupported. Leave space for her to reflect those same feelings back to you.

Agree to appreciate each other more and to take time to express your gratitude regularly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for about five months now. When he first asked me to be his girlfriend, he said he was ready for a serious relationship. I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t have any time for me, and I’m questioning whether he’s as committed as he claimed to be. He’s always either working or traveling, and while I understand that his career is demanding, it feels like I’ve been pushed to the back burner. We rarely spend quality time together, and even when we do, I can tell his mind is often elsewhere. He’ll take calls during our dates or cut plans short because of work obligations. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes feel more like an afterthought than a priority in his life.

I’ve tried to bring this up a few times, but his response is always the same: He tells me how much he cares about me and reassures me that things will get better “once work slows down.” The problem is that work never seems to slow down, and I’m left feeling lonely and unfulfilled in the relationship. I don’t want to come across as needy, but I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to want my partner to make time for me. Do you think I should break up with him? -- Distracted Boyfriend

DEAR DISTRACTED BOYFRIEND: It’s time for a heart-to-heart. It is still early in your relationship, but it has been long enough to have a sense of the rhythm you can expect from your boyfriend. Since you are not comfortable with how he engages with you, you must talk about it directly. Explain that you don’t mean to be pushy, but you do expect him to carve out time to pay attention to you. You have to make it clear to him how you want him to show that you are a priority. Then, see if he tries. If you like him enough to see if you have a future, you have to be open and direct with him about what is important to you and what you want from him. Otherwise, he cannot know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a nice guy recently. He and I have had coffee together a few times and have taken walks in the neighborhood. I met him when I was running an errand in my community. Initially, I liked how he asked me to do things that don’t cost anything but time, and our outings have been very pleasant. I discovered the other day that he is unemployed and has been for nearly a year. That’s why he hasn’t invited me out on a proper date. I know these things can happen, but I’m concerned. I don’t hear him talking about pounding the pavement to find a job. I hear more of what sounds like despondency or even depression. I like this guy, but I am not inclined to be his savior. I don’t want to abandon him, but I don’t have the inclination to help him turn his life around. What should I do? -- Met A Man

DEAR MET A MAN: Continue to be kind to this man and encourage him to find a job. Set boundaries around what you will and will not do with him. Be clear about what you want in a relationship -- including character, values and stability. Talk to him about his goals and desires. If you want to be his friend, say as much. It is also okay to kindly wish him well and pivot away.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)