DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two young daughters. One is 3 years old, and the other is just 8 months old. I invited my sister to stay with us during the holiday season because she lives far away and the rest of our family is in Delaware. However, my sister failed to tell me before she arrived that she was battling a nasty cold. She came to stay with us anyway, and within a couple of days, both of my daughters ended up getting sick. It was heartbreaking to see them so uncomfortable, especially my 8-month-old, who is so little and vulnerable. Her condition worsened to the point where I had to take her to the hospital. It was one of the most stressful and terrifying experiences of my life as a parent.

What upsets me the most is that this could have been avoided if my sister had been upfront about being sick. I understand that colds happen and that it wasn’t intentional, but I feel like she should have given me the chance to make an informed decision about whether or not to postpone her visit. How can I talk to her about this in a way that communicates how serious this was for us without damaging our relationship? -- Sick Sister

DEAR SICK SISTER: Moms have to be fierce defenders of their children. It is fine for you to speak strongly to your sister about what happened when she came to your house sick. Remind her that both of your children became ill and that the baby had to go to the hospital. This is serious. Request that your sister refrain from visiting you when she is ill. For the sakes of all involved, it’s wiser for her to stay home and get well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently dating someone who is the youngest of 10 siblings. He recently introduced me to his oldest sister, and I got the feeling that she wasn’t really a fan of me. She was rather dismissive throughout the night. I tried expressing my concern to my partner later on, but he sort of laughed it off and minimized her poor etiquette by calling her a “tough nut to crack.”

I am supposed to be meeting his mom for the first time soon and spending time with his family to ring in the new year. I want to make a good impression on them for the sake of our relationship, but I know this sister will be there and can’t help but wonder if all his siblings are “tough nuts.” How do I bring forth my best self when it seems like some of his loved ones are simply not interested in getting to know me? -- Family Hurdles

DEAR FAMILY HURDLES: Sometimes you have to jump through hoops to prove to your partner’s family that you are “worthy” of their approval. Play along. Get to know them. Answer their questions. Ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves. Encourage stories about when they were all children. Be yourself. Show them how you feel about your partner. Be patient.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been feeling overwhelmed at work. I was hired as support for one team but have now been expected to regularly cover two large teams. I sometimes find myself struggling to efficiently and seamlessly complete tasks for my main team while juggling tasks on both ends. Per my year-end review, I think my manager noticed a shift in my attitude in the office and with my colleagues (specifically, that I've been less social and much more uptight). As a result, my manager let me know that if I would prefer to support only the team I was originally hired for, I just need to let them know, and they’ll begin looking for another hire.

This feels like an impossible decision. I can’t help but feel like neither scenario is a win. If I say I no longer want to support both, it appears as though I am not able to handle more (even though this is a company I’m looking to grow with). If I continue to let the strenuous weight of the second team impede my performance with the first team, I will appear incompetent anyway. What would you do? -- How To Grow

DEAR HOW TO GROW: Refresh your attitude with a winner’s mindset. Study the duties you now have, and look for ways to streamline the work or enlist support. Seek out solutions and recommend them to your boss as you clearly demonstrate that you are willing and able to do what it takes to succeed, even if that means delegating some of the work. Give yourself a timeline for showing your boss that you are a team player and a creative problem solver. Ask for help when you need it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been living in New York City for the past five years. We initially moved here for the career opportunities and the exciting, vibrant lifestyle that the city offers. My husband finds the fast-paced lifestyle exhausting and feels like it’s starting to take a toll on his mental and physical health. He’s been expressing a strong desire to leave the city and move somewhere quieter and slower-paced where we could settle down and eventually start a family. While I completely understand and respect his feelings, I find myself hesitant to leave.

For me, NYC isn’t just where we live; it’s where I feel most alive. I love the energy, the diversity and the endless things to do, and the idea of raising kids here doesn’t bother me at all. I think it could actually be a great place for them to grow up with so many cultural and educational opportunities. I worry that moving to a smaller town or suburb might leave me feeling stifled and disconnected. I’m torn between staying in a city that I love and prioritizing my husband's happiness and our shared goals for the future. How do we deal with such a difference in perspective? -- Where To Live

DEAR WHERE TO LIVE: It is possible to live close to NYC without being in the center of the hustle and bustle. Start in the outer boroughs where there are quiet neighborhoods, or venture further into other areas in the state that provide good public schools and healthy neighborhoods. In this way, you can be city-adjacent, maintaining a family presence on the periphery, but remain easily able to pop into the city for special occasions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a sister who is 20 years younger than I am. I’m 30, and she’s only 10 years old. Because of this huge age gap, we’ve never really had a chance to bond or develop a close relationship. While I love her dearly, every time it’s just the two of us, the conversation feels forced and awkward. I don't think either of us is necessarily to blame. She's so much younger, and we’re at completely different stages in life, but it leaves me feeling sad and disconnected.

I go to visit her and my parents often so that we have plenty of opportunities to become closer, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have the kind of sibling bond I’ve seen other people enjoy with their brothers or sisters. I want to find ways to relate to her better and make her feel comfortable around me, but I don’t know where to start. She’s my only sibling, and the thought of us not being close upsets me. How can I help us become closer in our relationship so that we have a stronger bond in the future? -- Sibling Disconnect

DEAR SIBLING DISCONNECT: Your sister is a child, and you do not live together, so you will not have much in common now. Don’t look for that. Instead, be with her when you are together. Listen to her. Invite her to share her world with you. Find out what interests her. Try to remember what you cared about at her age. Share appropriate connecting stories as you remember them.

Expose her to your world. What do you like to do that might interest her? Arts activities, music, books? Show her who you are as she does the same for you. Allow your relationship to grow naturally. She may seem more like a daughter or niece than a sister for a few years, but that’s fine too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant, and my husband and I are arguing about who should be allowed in the delivery room when I give birth. I want only my sister and my mom there along with my husband. He’s the only male I feel comfortable having in the room. My husband, however, has a completely different idea. He wants his mom, dad, sister and even his grandma in the room. To me, that’s just way too many people, and I’m not very close with his family.

I’ve tried to explain that giving birth is an intimate experience and that I need to feel as comfortable and supported as possible. I don’t think he fully understands how exposed and emotional I’ll feel during labor. For him, it seems more about making sure his family doesn’t feel left out, but for me, it’s about creating a safe and calm environment. I want to respect his feelings and include his family in other meaningful ways, but I feel strongly about having only the people I’m most comfortable with in the delivery room. How can we resolve this in a way that respects both of our perspectives without adding unnecessary stress during such an important time? -- Delivery Room

DEAR DELIVERY ROOM: Ask your doctor to speak to your husband to explain optimal conditions for the health and safety of mom and baby. This should help to reinforce that only the smallest group possible should be present. Put your foot down on this -- it is one decision where the dad does not to get to have a say. Invite his family to stay in the waiting room until your baby is born.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)