DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband smokes weed pretty much every day. During the pandemic, he got to the point of smoking all day long from before sunrise until going to sleep. We were all at home then, and it was infuriating to have to smell smoke while I was working in the other room. Fast forward to several years later, and the trend hasn’t changed much. He works intermittently, and I now work from home full time. He still smokes nonstop. No matter what I say, he continues. I have asked him not to smoke during office hours. He balks and tells me I shouldn’t be working at home anyway. He says this is his house, and he can do what he wants. Where are my rights in this? I cannot stand that my house constantly smells like weed. No candle or air freshener takes the smell out, either. What can I do? -- Weed Invasion

DEAR WEED INVASION: You are facing at least two serious issues: addiction and disrespect. Have a serious talk with your husband. Ask him why he smokes so much. Why does he need to smoke before sunrise? What’s going on with him? Tell him how his smoking affects you. Ask him to respect you and your time by not smoking when you are working. Since you live in a shared space, you would like to make mutually agreed-upon hours for certain activities, especially smoking. Reiterate that this is important to you, and it feels blatantly disrespectful when he ignores you.

Know, however, that he may not be able to stop. While some say that weed is not addictive, his behavior says otherwise. You may have to decide what you will do if he won’t stop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not gotten along with my husband well for years. I often think about ending our marriage, but then I look at my single friends of a certain age and see that all they talk about is wanting to find a man. I am at a loss for how to make my marriage more fulfilling. At the same time, I don’t want to be alone and lonely. Do I stay to avoid my friends’ situation? What can I do to get my marriage on course? -- Frustrated

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Figure out what you want and need in your marriage. Review your life today, and identify what you believe would make you happy if things could change. Be as specific as possible. Then talk to your husband. Explain to him how you have been feeling and what you believe is missing in your marriage. Tell him you don’t want to live like you do now and that you do want to reinvigorate your life together. Ask him what he thinks and what would make him happier. Check in to learn about his state of mind. You may be surprised to learn that he doesn’t share your view. Wherever he is, let him know where you are. Ask him if you can work together to revitalize your bond. If you can both put effort into your marriage, there is a chance to give it new life. Make a concerted effort with him before walking out the door.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. For a while, it felt like we were building a life together -- a real future. We dreamed together. Aside from the love we shared as romantic partners, we were both ambitious and helped push each other along in our careers as well. Over time and after much trust was built, we began exploring business ventures together. Like any business, we’ve experienced ups and downs, but overall, I’ve loved the process of entrepreneurship. Unfortunately, though, I think my feelings for my partner have changed. Our relationship has become mundane. We are not as romantic or as happy as we used to be. I don’t feel like a priority to him anymore, and he seems a lot less ambitious than he used to be. It feels like we’re different people now and at different stages in our lives, and I’m not sure I see a future for us anymore. The thought of having shared businesses, though, is keeping me from making the hard decision.

I keep ignoring my unhappiness because we are so heavily financially involved. Should I try to make things work, or is it possible to have a platonic business relationship with an ex? -- Turning Point

DEAR TURNING POINT: Check your legal documents to ensure that you know your standing in all of your business ventures. Then talk to your boyfriend. Tell him you do not feel like your romantic relationship is currently working. Find out what he thinks. You may just need a reboot on your relationship. Don’t be too quick to walk away. No matter what, it will take time to talk through your feelings and come to an agreement on the way forward. Let him know where you stand. If you want to stay in business with him but not as his romantic partner, be clear about that. Time will let you know if you can work together under these new conditions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of months ago, a close friend and I decided to move in together. We began our hunt for housing and found the perfect place with separate bedrooms and bathrooms for each of us. This sounded great to me because the trouble with roommates usually happens in the shared spaces. We signed a yearlong lease, and we enjoyed our first month there decorating, cooking together and more. The second month rolled around, and my roommate didn’t have her share of the rent and claimed to have been laid off. She only admitted this to me once I asked why she was late on payment. She’s now asked if I can spot her so that we do not lose the apartment. She says she can begin a payment plan with me and close it out as soon as she gets another job.

I would love to stay here, but paying for both of us is not what I signed up for. Should I help a friend who may seriously be in need, or should I be suspicious? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: Check your lease to determine your liability. Suggest that your roommate ask her parents or other friends to spot the rent. Do your best to get her to find the money elsewhere. Find out how long you have before eviction. Sit with her and make a concrete plan for staying in the apartment. Don’t just take on her debt.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been an aunt since I was 9 years old. I am 29 now, the youngest of five sisters and an aunt to 11 nieces and nephews. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the default babysitter. I live at home with my mom, which seems to be a prime location for all of my sisters when they need parental relief. Sometimes they show up unannounced or with short notice and simply tell me they need someone to watch their children for a few hours -- or sometimes overnight. I think because I do not currently have a partner or children, they assume I am always home or available. If I tell them otherwise, they ask if my social engagements are as important as my nieces or nephews. I don’t like that they always expect me to cancel plans at their behest, but I’m not allowed to expect them to plan ahead.

Lately, I’ve been saying no more often. Even when I am free, I’d prefer to be alone. I’ve noticed that sometimes they plan outings without me and say, “we thought you wanted to be alone.” I’ve tried explaining to them, for years now, that all my free time being dedicated to child care is overwhelming -- especially when I am not yet an actual mother -- but they tell me I’m insensitive and say I’ll understand how they feel when my time comes. I think this dynamic has pushed me to be defensive with my siblings and not as joyous with my nieces and nephews. I want all these relationships to be more amicable, and I want my sisters to understand my boundaries. How do I get them to see my side? -- Tired Auntie

DEAR TIRED AUNTIE: Speak to your siblings. Remind them how much you love them and their children, but point out that you have your own life. Explain that as much as you like to help them -- sometimes -- you do not appreciate their assumption that you are always on call to care for their children. Ask them to take a more respectful approach this year, where they inquire about your availability and schedule child care ahead of time rather than treating you like their on-call sitter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an assistant who works remotely. I recently figured out that she takes personal breaks whenever I am at an appointment or otherwise not at my desk. When I called her on this, she admitted that she uses the time to care for her young child. I explained that we work on the honor system. I expect her to work during working hours. She may sometimes need to tend to her child, but it cannot mean hours during the day. I feel like she is taking me for granted. How do I get her to recommit to the schedule? -- Slacker

DEAR SLACKER: Tell her you feel that trust has been broken by her since she is not working when she should. Let her know that you need her to rebuild that trust by doing her work on time and being present during all working hours. That doesn’t mean she can’t occasionally care for her child, but it doesn’t work for her to be primary care provider and full-time employee. Give her a timeline to work out her schedule. If she cannot do so effectively, replace her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)