DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper etiquette always to use a euphemism for the word “toilet,” as in, “Excuse me, where is the bathroom (or restroom, etc.)?” Has the word “toilet” become vulgar?

GENTLE READER: In regards to bodily functions, the less graphic the language, the more polite it is. But toilet, which refers to the room as well as the plumbing, does not generally fall under any ban. Miss Manners has no objection to alternative words if they make you, or the person you are questioning, more comfortable. But be aware that in some English-speaking countries and in some foreign languages, “toilet” is actually preferred.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I paid in advance when I gave a dinner party for 30 people for a special occasion, and only 26 people attended.

Would it have been all right to ask to take the four extra dinners home? Or is it not permissible? Just curious.

GENTLE READER: Your relationship with the guests who did not attend is governed by a different set of manners from your relationship with the establishment you paid to feed them. The latter is a matter of business, meaning that if you paid for 30 meals, it is not unreasonable to expect to receive 30 meals.

Miss Manners says this while recognizing that the higher class the establishment considers itself to be, the harder they will make it to take possession of the leftover pot roast.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When receiving an invitation to a 50th wedding anniversary party, which indicates “no gifts,” is it appropriate to give one anyway?

My sister in Pennsylvania says they always give one dollar for every year of marriage as a gift. I say it is inappropriate, and will offend the couple (especially if they have a lavish affair and are moderately affluent).

GENTLE READER: Because gifts should not be expected, Miss Manners objects to instructions for or against them being included in invitations. But a guest on the receiving end of such an admonition should comply. If you really cannot help yourself, then mail a real gift -- not cash, and refrain from bringing it to the event -- and apologize: “I’m so sorry, I was so excited about your anniversary that I bought the gift before I saw the invitation.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: John Smith, our close friend, has been exclusively with Jane Doe for eight years, but they are not living together. We are not friends with her.

Do we address his invitation “John Smith and guest,” or “John Smith and Jane Doe”? I was worried that “John Smith and guest” would be thought of as an insult to him, since we have socialized with both of them about two or three years ago. Which is proper?

GENTLE READER: Couples are treated as a social unit on invitations, but these days, what is a couple? Married, certainly. Living together as more than roommates, yes, although Miss Manners cannot help you guess whether the latter condition is being fulfilled.

Couples who have been dating for eight years likely believe they qualify and, as Mr. Smith is a close friend, that is the safest course. “And guest” would be insulting to her, but Miss Manners hopes that your friend is not one of those who, though themselves unwilling to make legal or financial commitments to a partner, are prone to take insult if others don’t understand the situation.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a bad habit of interrupting people. My mom says that every time I interrupt people, I owe her one dollar. I need help and advice.

GENTLE READER: “Listen to your mother” has evidently not worked, which is why she is upping the stakes. Your mother is guessing that eventually the cost of noncompliance will force a change in behavior. Miss Manners’ advice is therefore either to stop interrupting or to stop spending -- so you can pay your mother.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a dear, older friend who is celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary. I’ve offered to help throw her a party after it became clear her kids wouldn’t be doing that.

But we could have a problem on our hands. She has invited 100 or so friends to a resort, and wants everyone to join her and her (very nice) husband for dinner. I’m putting together her invitations and doing all the coordinating.

She has instructed me that she wants this to be a no-host dinner -- she’s inviting people who will be paying hotel, transportation and other expenses in a pricey area -- and then asking them to pay their way through dinner, as well. It’s a little awkward, and I can’t help wondering how she will be received.

GENTLE READER: Your friend has co-opted you into abetting her own rudeness: One does not throw parties to honor oneself, much less expect other people to pay for them.

Miss Manners sees that, having come this far, you cannot easily back out. But she suggests you think of yourself as the servant -- a passive, and therefore not responsible, pair of hands -- while cultivating an inconspicuous disposition.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are a retired couple who received an invitation that read: “John and Jane Doe request the honor of your presence to celebrate Event 1, Event 2, Event 3.” (All of the above had already occurred when we got the invitation.) “RSVP. Dress to impress.”

We are not familiar with “dress to impress.” What is the correct attire for such an occasion? Is this a new term?

GENTLE READER: While your would-be hosts did not themselves invent “dress to impress,” they, like everyone else using the phrase, have failed to supply a useful definition.

Miss Manners does not count “Oh, wear whatever makes you comfortable” -- the likely answer to a closer inquiry -- as useful. She is inclined to say that those who invent vocabulary have only themselves to blame when the people with whom they are supposedly communicating cannot divine the intended meaning.

But she realizes that this still leaves the would-be guest standing in front of the closet with a blank expression. If the host truly cannot supply a meaning, then consult with other guests, if possible, and dress for the occasion: Weddings are more formal than potluck dinners. Fortunately, in this case your host has spared you from any consequences by sending the invitation after the events occurred.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been to social gatherings with my fiance where most of the guests were his family members or his old friends. I either am much less familiar with these people, or meeting them for the first time, so I expect him to take the lead when it comes to the end of these events.

However, there have been several times that I felt it was fairly clear the hosts would like us to go: We’ve been there several hours and they put the baby to bed; we’ve helped clear the dishes, it’s really late and the conversation has lulled several times.

I keep waiting for my fiance to do the ”Well, it’s been so great, but it’s getting late ...” Nothing. It often drags out until either I say something or the host does some “subtle” prompting (admittedly, during a time that we were at someone’s home until 3 a.m., I fell asleep).

I need to have a talk with him about this, but to be honest, I think he might just be bad at picking up on the social cues. Is it ever appropriate for me to excuse us from these social gatherings of people who barely know me?

Is there a good way for me to indicate to him, “Hey, I think these people might want us to go now”? Or should I just go along with him in these situations since he does know them better?

GENTLE READER: You are going to be very welcome in this family, which has probably been wondering for years how to unstick your fiance from their sofas.

Certainly, you can always initiate the departure with a burst of enthusiasm at how enjoyable the evening was as you stand up and move toward the door. But there is another tool that you need to have a happy marriage.

It is called The Look. In the midst of a social gathering, one spouse can stare wide-eyed at the other as a signal that something needs to be done. That could be that it is time to go home, but it could also be, “Soft-pedal that story; it’s a bit too risque for them” or, “You have some food on your face.”

Should you have children, The Look will be even more useful, as it says, “I’m not going to embarrass you in public, but if you don’t stop that right now, you’ll be in deep trouble when we get home.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I understand that it is traditional for the bride to dance with her father at her wedding. I like the ceremony and symbolism of that father-daughter dance, and I would also like to recognize each of my three brothers by dancing with them.

However, I would think that it would be rather tedious for my guests to sit through five dances (including the first dance of the bride and groom) before being allowed to take the floor themselves. What is proper in this situation?

GENTLE READER: Yes, this would be charming, but not as a ceremony, performed for onlookers. After you get that “Awwww” reaction for your dance with your father, Miss Manners expects you to invite your guests to begin general dancing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I don’t live in our home state, so every four years, we vote by absentee ballot. I normally request ballots for him and myself. Prior to the last election, I literally placed his ballot in front of him and handed him the pen. For an upcoming election, I fear he may vote for someone I am vehemently against. I’m not sure of this, but I find the idea so abhorrent I’m thinking of requesting my ballot only. What do you advise?

GENTLE READER: Whether or not this would constitute tampering with an election, Miss Manners is sure it would mean tampering with your marriage. How convincingly can you say, “Oh, did you want me to send for your ballot, too?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)