DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have several friends who, in most ways, have good manners and consider themselves polite and refined. We all use cloth napkins, of course, when we dine at each others’ houses.

I was chagrined, however, to see that if they happen to sneeze during a meal at my house, they use the nicely starched and ironed napkins as a handkerchief, blowing their noses in them!

I am revolted by this, but feel uncomfortable asking them to refrain from doing so; nor am I inclined to place a box of tissues in the dining room in easy reach of the guests. What would you suggest?

GENTLE READER: Next time one of your well-mannered friends sneezes in the linen, give that person a fresh napkin. Miss Manners suggests this as the act of a good host, and therefore not one to be done with a grimace, or while holding the soiled napkin at arm’s length.

She may be vaguely aware that this will draw perhaps-unwelcome attention to the guest’s action, but that could never be your polite and refined intent.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m friends with a neighbor who is retired and has a lot of time on his hands. He is friendly and accommodating, and has become protective of me, which I appreciate as I’m a woman who lives alone.

Many times, he’s generously taken in delivery packages for me while I’m at work, cut my grass, or offered to do simple repair jobs. He even knocks on my door to see if I’m all right if he hasn’t seen me for a while. In short, he’s a good neighbor.

However, whenever I have home projects that require experts, such as carpenters, plumbers or repair experts, he will appear and attempt to supervise them, always asking them about every detail of their work and interjecting with advice. In several instances, he’s given me detailed evaluations of their work within earshot of them, leading me to later to make excuses or apologize for his intervention.

I’m about to have my kitchen remodeled, and it will require many people from all trades working in my house for a prolonged period. Frankly, I don’t want my neighbor hanging around and engaging them or telling them how to do their jobs. How do I politely restrain him from meddling without alienating him or appearing unappreciative of the other good deeds that he does for me?

GENTLE READER: He sounds like a well-intentioned person in need of some boundaries. “You are such a wonderful neighbor and I depend on you for so much. Thank you,” is a good opening, as it should disarm the “but” that any sensible person will hear coming: “But this work is going to go on for some time, and I can supervise them myself.”

If he is the kindly neighbor you think he is, Miss Manners trusts that will solve the problem. If not, then you may have to manage not just the workers, but him, too -- distracting him with minor requests so that the professionals can get on with their jobs.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father is an elderly man now, and his health, while quite good for his age, is nonetheless not what it once was. In this knowledge, my younger brother is agitating for information about Dad’s will (I have been named executor).

Our father is not a wealthy man, but he does have an amazing lifetime’s worth of goods, and there will probably be a modest estate.

I have no information about the contents of the will, and have not asked. (I figure if Dad wants me to know, he’ll tell me, since he’s been very matter-of-fact about the funeral he has planned and other arrangements he’s made.) Nor will I use the set of spare keys given to me to go snooping, as my brother suggested; I found the very idea outrageous.

My brother has also suggested that I start getting valuations on some items and asking directly about Dad’s will so that he can do “forward financial planning,” which I think is code for “figure out how much I’ll have when the old man pops his clogs.” He says he wants me to do this because I see Dad more often, whereas he is “too busy.”

He says that since I have a reasonably well-paid career and no children, whereas he has a girlfriend, an ex-wife, two children and a mortgage, that he deserves the lion’s share of any bequest. He says he “needs it more,” and expects me to “do the right thing by family” and hand over a goodly portion of anything that might be left to me.

I am utterly horrified by this idea that my father’s modest worldly goods are our ”property in waiting” by some divine right, and I told my brother so (Miss Manners would probably not have approved of the language I used).

Brother claims that he is being level-headed and sensible about a difficult topic, and that disposition of a deceased relative’s estate is a matter of business and there is no room for my soppy sentiment.

My own view is that this man has already spent a small fortune on raising us to adulthood, and that we should have no expectation of any post-mortem windfall. I feel that Dad should A) spend it all on himself before he dies; B) leave everything to the worthy medical charity in which he has been very active for the last two decades; or C) basically do whatever he wants, seeing as it’s his money.

I cannot believe that my brother’s self-proclaimed “hard-headed and practical business sense” is anything beyond the most ungrateful greed.

GENTLE READER: Many of Miss Manners’ Gentle Readers are confounded by the separation between personal and professional etiquette, but her sympathy is more engaged when the confusion is well-intentioned.

Your brother’s assertion that his interest in your father’s estate can be separated from your father’s death is not sanctioned by etiquette or decency. If family relationships are not the domain of sentiment, what is? The mortgage?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband has been working from home, like many others, so I have heard many work conversations. He is the oldest in his office of 20 or so people. Most of the others are young enough to be his kids, and he calls them “kiddo.”

This irritates me, and I’m guessing it does the workers, as well, but they don’t say anything. Would you please explain why this is not a good idea?

Ditto for eating while on the phone and clicking his pen. Everything is amplified on a phone!

GENTLE READER: So is the extent to which it can get on someone’s nerves to be monitored and critiqued while trying to work.

That is not to say that spouses cannot deliver advice. But if you want to discuss the etiquette of working remotely with others, Miss Manners suggests you pick a time when you are both at leisure, and approach it as a challenge that many now share and are testing out.

Whether this group was used to eating at their desks would be a factor in how they felt about snacking during virtual meetings. And whether your husband’s young colleagues are amused or annoyed by his mode of address, Miss Manners cannot say. She remembers a prominent editor who called the young staff “kid,” which seemed to inspire the hope of rising to be considered his equal.

A polite discussion of what works best might be useful. Hovering over someone who is trying to work is not.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend’s daughter’s wedding was canceled because of the coronavirus, and it has now been rescheduled to be a Zoom ceremony.

What type of gift is required for a Zoom wedding? Should I spend the same amount of money that I would have on a gift for a formal, in-person wedding?

GENTLE READER: What do you suppose determines the amount of money to be spent on a wedding present?

Miss Manners fears that you may be the victim of that vulgar notion that the amount spent must equal the cost of entertaining the guest: To the lavish, much shall be given.

Nonsense. Spend the amount it costs to buy something you believe will please the couple, and that you can afford. Where they are being married has nothing to do with it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have two wonderful sisters. I send them gifts for birthdays and holidays. One sister always sends a lovely thank-you note -- either a letter or an email. One sister never responds or acknowledges a gift, in writing or electronically. Is it polite to inquire, after a month or more has elapsed, whether the gift(s) arrived or not?

Sometimes I might send an e-gift card, and I once inquired if it got stuck in her spam folder. Other times I don’t ask. Is it ever OK to ask if someone received a gift?

GENTLE READER: She did receive them.

Miss Manners is sorry to have to tell you that your parents succeeded in teaching gratitude, and how to express it, to only two out of the three sisters. So yes, you may voice your dismay that the offering must have been lost.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)