Election years can magnify the cracks in even the closest relationships. And this election is the San Andreas of familial and friendship fault lines.

Those who live in politically divided families can either agree to disagree or try to influence the other party without letting it get too personal. But it's hard not to take it personally when the stakes feel so high. Or when the other person's views appear to be based on misinformation or prejudice rather than policy differences. Both leading candidates have large swaths of people who deeply dislike -- even loathe -- them. It's unsettling to see someone you love or admire support someone you feel is dangerous to the country.

One friend confided that he is dreading an extended family vacation soon after the election. Another is worried her relationship with her mother will never recover, based on what she's seen her mom post.

It's similar to the relationship strain people reported after the unrest in Ferguson. Views on police shootings are often influenced by one's own experience with the police, which can vary dramatically by race. Social media laid bare these differences.

In some ways, the fallout from this rancorous, deeply polarizing election has been even harder to take. Sharing one's views on politics, race and religious beliefs always runs the risk of offending those who disagree with you. For ordinary citizens, elections are when beliefs translate into actions that can influence the society in which we live. This is why it can feel like a betrayal when those close to us don't see what we see; we see their actions impacting our lives and our children's futures.

It's hurtful to see a friend or relative share bigoted or sexist views publicly, but even more so if you happen to belong to the targeted group, whether it is Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants or African Americans. It's hard to look at people the same way after learning they believe debunked conspiracy theories.

Often, it's best to limit the mental and emotional toll these interactions can take: No need to engage people of little consequence in your life. High school classmates you haven't spoken to in years? Let them go. Fringe social acquaintances you rarely see in person? Forget about it. The "mute," "unfriend" and "unfollow" features on social media are especially handy this time of year.

But relationships that you want to maintain -- spouses, parents, children, close friends and neighbors -- require a different approach.

A dinner guest recently started railing against illegal immigrants "living off the government" during a family meal. I suppose I could have tried to offer a facts-based argument about the percentage of crimes committed by various groups of people, or shared which demographic group in America is actually most likely to be "living off the government." But I don't think facts would have influenced her opinion. More likely, any counter-argument would have inflamed the situation. So I changed the topic to Mexican desserts.

Gracias, tres leches, for the pivot.

Then there are those who can manage political difference in the most aspirational way.

Alex Kaminski, 32, lives in Maryland Heights, Missouri, and says his family is a mixed lot, politically. He refuses to argue with those "whose information is solely based on political ads on TV and pounded into their heads." There are people on Facebook whose posts he will ignore until the election is over.

He does, however, try to understand and engage with those willing to agree to his ground rules.

"If you really want to talk about this, let's agree to a few rules," he has said to family members. No interrupting, you can't get mad at the other person and you have to listen to one another respectfully.

"You have to try to separate your emotions from what you believe in trying to understand the other person's point of view," he explained. These conversations have actually changed his mind on how he plans to vote in this election.

He had planned to vote for a third party, since he isn't a fan of either major party's candidate.

"Conversations with my mom and sister have convinced me otherwise," he said.

These dinner table discussions show us how civil society functions best.

You ignore the loudmouths, listen to reason and if all else fails, pass the dessert.

Jessica Hall's youngest daughter got lice from a catcher's helmet early this summer.

She didn't panic when she discovered the bugs in her 5-year-old's straight blond hair. Her eldest had once caught lice about a decade ago in elementary school, and it was fairly easy to get rid of.

Hall, an elementary teacher in Independence, Kansas, knew that catching the highly contagious parasite had nothing to do with the cleanliness of her home or children. While there isn't reliable data on how many people get head lice each year in the United States, the CDC estimates 6 million to 12 million infestations occur each year among children 3 to 11 years of age.

So, Hall tried the same approach that worked last time. She bought Nix Lice Treatment, an over-the-counter cream, and applied it. After that, she combed through her daughter's hair and did it again less than a week later. The itching kept coming back.

She treated her kindergartner six or seven times this summer, switching between Rid and Nix, and spending hours combing through her hair each week. The week before school started, her middle child caught it.

Hall started treating them both. She braided both girls' hair and sprayed them with a natural rosemary spray she bought from the hairdresser. She cleaned and washed everything in the house. She treated them with the OTC chemical formulas every week. She spent 10 to 15 hours a week combing out their hair and picking out eggs or bugs. She bought special combs with lights on them, replaced all the hairbrushes, tried special shampoos.

This went on for months. She used the chemical treatments on their scalps anywhere from 15 to 20 times.

She called her pediatrician, who prescribed a thick cream used to treat scabies. She lathered her kids' scalps with it.

The lice came back.

As soon as she would see one of the girls scratch their heads, she would call them over and inspect their scalps. They each would have to sit for an hour and a half each time she combed through their hair.

By October, the family had spent nearly $1,000 and countless hours fighting these bugs. Finally, she said to her husband: "I am done doing this. I am not getting it out. It's not working. All this stuff I'm buying, it's not working."

Her husband searched online and found Heartland Healthy Heads in Liberty, Missouri. It's a lice-removal clinic that uses the FDA-approved device AirAlle, which blows hot air to destroy lice and their eggs. It's been shown to be safe and effective at treating lice.

"I didn't know there was such a place," Hall said. "I would have done it the very first thing."

Her husband took the first available appointment, took the girls out of school and drove 150 miles each way to have them treated.

Cherie Parker, a nurse practitioner and owner of Heartland Health Heads, says she has treated a lot of desperate people. Lice bugs have adapted to the over-the-counter treatments, which don't work anymore. This new strain of super lice has to be treated with different prescription medications or the AirAlle. Their treatment costs $159, which includes a re-check and 30-day guarantee.

Parker says they do about 100 treatments a month. For those who do not live near a treatment center, it's best to get a prescription from a doctor to treat resistent lice.

"Lice has nothing to do with income level or cleanliness," she said.

A study published in the Journal of Medical Entomology earlier this year found almost all lice collected and tested from 48 states had mutations responsible for resistance to the active ingredients in widely used OTC treatments.

"We know the resistance is here," Parker said.

Oh, the resistance was known in the Hall household for the past four months.

Hall says her husband was very excited to see an end to the evenings she had to spend picking bugs out of their daughters' hair.

"It was a little crazy," she said.

They have been lice-free for more than a week, but Hall knows far too well not to start celebrating too soon.

She lost several battles against super lice, but may have won the war.

Unless, of course, someone catches it at school again.

This column has nothing to do with politics.

It has everything to do with our culture.

It's a discussion prompted by the now-infamous words of the GOP presidential nominee. An 11-year-old "Access Hollywood" video shows Donald Trump saying these words: "You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful (women) -- I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. ... Grab them by the p---y. You can do anything."

He has since defended his comments as "locker-room talk."

This is what the actions he described look like outside a locker room.

Writer, director and actor Amber Tamblyn posted her story on Instagram last week. She described a scene involving an ex-boyfriend who found her in a club, where she was with her girlfriends.

"He's a big guy, taller than me. The minute he saw me, he picked me up with one hand by my hair and with his other hand, he grabbed me under my skirt by my vagina -- my

p---y? -- and lifted me up off the floor, literally, and carried me, like something he owned, like a piece of trash, out of the club. His fingers were practically inside of me, his other hand wrapped tightly around my hair. I screamed and kicked and cried. He carried me this way, suspended by his hands, all the way across the room, pushing past people until he got to the front door ... That part of my body, which the current Presidential Nominee of the United States Donald Trump recently described as something he'd like to grab a woman by, was bruised from my ex-boyfriend's violence for at least the next week."

Jennifer Conti, an ob-gyn, shared her own experience in an essay published on Slate. When she was 10 years old, a grown man reached between her legs and squeezed.

"I was at a local toy store. My father was in the next aisle and heard me scream. The man got away, but the memory of this event has stayed with me ever since. ... These memories lie dormant for most of the time, tucked away in a place I choose consciously not to acknowledge. But the Taser I own, the keys I keep clutched between my knuckles when walking alone, and the fear I feel for my own daughter are testaments to how you can never truly erase this kind of violation."

After the "Trump tapes" were released, Canadian writer Kelly Oxford began tweeting about the times men had sexually assaulted her, starting with: "Old man on city bus grabs my 'p---y' and smiles at me, I'm 12."

She asked women to tweet about their sexual assaults. The next day, she posted this update: "Women have tweeted me sexual assault stories for 14 hours straight. Minimum 50 per minute. harrowing. do not ignore." Many used the hashtag #notokay.

Millions of people have had visceral reactions to the laughing and lewd talk on that video, partly because it makes them relive a moment when they've been bullied, humiliated or violated in some way.

An NBC/WSJ poll taken soon after the release of the tapes, but before the second presidential debate, revealed some interesting context. Prior to the video release on Oct. 7, 45 percent of likely men voters said they did not think Trump respects women. That number jumped 10 points to 55 percent after the recording became public.

The majority of men recognized it for what it is. You don't have to be a husband, a father or a brother of a woman to condemn sexual violence.

Only 31 percent of voters said Trump's comments about women were "inappropriate, but typical of how some men talk in private with other men," according to the survey. So, if you commonly hear talk or jokes about assaulting women, you are in the minority. If you defend predatory remarks about women, you reveal far more than your political affiliations.

In a 2010 survey, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 44 percent of U.S. women have experienced sexual violence victimization other than rape at some point in their lives, and nearly one in five has been raped.

Women are constantly fighting for their own bodily integrity, but we are not the only victims of sexual violence. Boys and men are sexually abused and assaulted, as well.

Our bodies are not objects for anyone to grab. Not if they are more powerful, not if they are wealthy and not if they are bigger.

A friend -- a 63-year-old man who has heard his share of lewd talk among friends -- reminded me that this is a message that transcends this brutally divisive election: Consent is a human right.