Archives

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’ve stumbled upon your blog and account every now and then. I always end up reading at least one of your posts, sometimes more. Never as a subscriber though because some of this ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: This is really only somewhat related to dating but I hope you can help me anyway. I’m a recent college graduate, new resident in a large midwestern city and I just turned 25 and I... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your articles and your perspective regarding dating. You are probably one of the only people I bother reading on the internet these days... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: When I (17 F, 16) started dating my boyfriend (17 M, call him Ben), I was reluctant to get into a relationship, but willing to try it out after talking to my mom about it. I knew ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I had an on again, off again marriage with an emotionally abusive and alcoholic man for 20 years. I divorced him 4 years ago, took him back a year later, he cheated last year and ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE:  I’ve been officially with my boyfriend for 6 months now. So we’re still in the honeymoon phase. Everything has been perfect from the start. We met through university, which we bot... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE:  Thank you for running this column. I’ve gotten useful advice from it many times in the past.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE:  I am not an ugly man, but my appearance is far from normal. Now, what I mean by that isn’t that I’m bald or overweight or anything, but if you’ve taken a look at college-age men t... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: Since I found your site I’ve read a number of your articles, especially the ones about fear of failure and rejection, the abundance mindset, your deconstruction of male beauty stan... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I (23F) have been dating “Bill” (25M) for almost 6 months. I’ve always felt a little insecure because he’s a bit out of my league and I was the one to first ask him out, back when ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: When I met my now-husband, I was very young ignorant and naïve. He wasn’t my first nor second though, I had this habit of changing boyfriends cos I didn’t know what I was doing. Th... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’ve dealt with this pretty odd issue for years. Every time a woman shows that they’re attracted to me it always makes me feel uncomfortable, creeped out, or angry. My brain automa... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I had met a guy and we exchanged phone numbers. We are both around the age of 40. I probably texted him first and then he and I hung out at his place. But then he started texting m... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I want to start by thanking you for your column and podcast that have really helpful and insightful. I really believe if I hadn’t found you 7 years ago, I might have become more bi... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: So, I’m a bi woman in my 30s. I’m also on the spectrum, to make things just a little trickier.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: Okay, so, I am going to preface this by saying that I have, like, the world’s strongest vasovagal response. If needles or any sort of other bodily intrusions are involved, I start ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m a teenage adult, former virgin, in his first actual relationship with a woman I love deeply. One big difference between us is our vastly different sexual past. Before her, I wa... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I am finding myself struggling with dating in our ever-increasingly digital world. I am 22 and am not super “online” as it is (I’m barely on Bluesky and that is my most used social... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m female, over 30 and have never dated. I’ve consciously known for at least 5 years that I’m bisexual.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I have gotten myself in a bit of a feedback loop and have, quite honestly, been in a version of that same loop on some level my whole life.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: How do I cope with other people putting their expectations on how soon I should be getting dates? Some of my friends act as if getting dates is as easy as going to buy something at... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: With the new year just beginning, I’d like to really push through the chest beating and knee shaking that comes with approaching women. I’ve become FAR better at it but now I’m try... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I don’t know if this is a question as much as my not knowing how to feel or what to do but here goes: ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m 20F, almost 21, a junior in college and I’ve been working my first job as a barista for about three months. Before I started this job, I didn’t think I was bad looking, not a 1... more

DOCTOR’S NOTE: Today, we’re going to do things a little differently. Since both of today’s letters have similar questions and cover similar complaints, rather than repeat the reply or spread it across... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I could use some advice. There is a guy that I was introduced to me about four months ago and I know he has been in a bad headspace, mentally. His ex-girlfriend was emotionally abu... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: For the past two years, I’ve had two girls who liked me. Yet I barely found them sexually attractive. I enjoyed their company as a friend and set that boundary with them. However, ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: So gonna be very upfront. I’m beneath perhaps a of women in a lot of terms and women don’t date down. ... more