DEAR NATALIE: I let my sister move in with me during Covid so that she could get back on her feet. She had lost her job and things were challenging financially. But for the past four months, she has been working full-time and seems to be doing fine. I feel bad asking her to leave, but my husband and I would like to have our space back. It was only supposed to be temporary, but she is already talking about staying through the end of the year. How can I gently ask her to go without causing a rift? I love her, however this has to end at some point. -TIME TO GO

DEAR TIME TO GO: Family dynamics can be tricky in any situation, let alone when you pile on a pandemic and a job loss. While I feel for your sister, wearing out one’s welcome is never a good look. Now that she has a job, it may be a good time to sit down and just ask her about that timeline she proposed. Maybe you can bump it up a month or two, bringing it closer to mid or early November? Offer to help her look for an apartment or house for rent if she is open to it. These things can be overwhelming and can feel paralyzing. She may just feel so safe, loved and comfortable with you that she is afraid to leap. Approach her with love and respect. Share that you want her to move forward while knowing that she has a safe place to land should she need it. With that approach, it may feel less like you are throwing her out and more like you are propelling her forward into a new adventure.  

DEAR NATALIE: I’ve recently reconnected with an old flame that I dated about thirty years ago. My intentions are purely platonic, but she seems to think that there is a chance we may get back together. I have explained to her that since losing my wife five years ago, I don’t want to be with anyone again. She was the love of my life, but nothing seems to deter this woman from wanting to see me. Do you think it’s a bad idea if we get together and catch up? I don’t want to lead her on but I also wouldn’t mind seeing an old friend. What do you think? My son says that I am allowed to have friends, but not if they have feelings that aren’t reciprocated. Thoughts? —PURELY PLATONIC

DEAR PURELY PLATONIC: If you have any curiosity at all, why not meet up with her? Do you think maybe you are afraid of what you might feel? If you do have even the tiniest desire to date again, it doesn’t mean that you love your wife any less or that your memories are any less valuable. You are allowed to seek companionship, friendship -- and yes -- even romance. If you aren’t ready for that, continue to be honest with your old flame and let her know. Go ahead and set up a coffee date or a lunch. Those are usually a little less romantically charged than dinner or drinks. And who knows what is around the corner for any of us? Keep an open mind and heart. You may not end up dating, but perhaps a real friendship can blossom.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

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DEAR NATALIE: I slept with this guy on the first date. Not my proudest moment; I got pretty drunk at the bar when we went out the other night and stumbled back to my place. You know the rest. Anyway, he didn’t call me afterwards and my friend said it was because I was acting “too easy” and “now he won’t see me as girlfriend material.” I’m not sure I even want to be his girlfriend, but I would like to see him again. What should I do? If I call or text him first, do I look desperate? It’s been a few days and no word from him. Should I just let it go? -GIVING IT AWAY

DEAR GIVING IT AWAY: There are no rules when it comes to when and if and how you share your sexuality with someone. The only thing you have to keep in mind is that your expectations after the fact may not be in line with your partner’s. In this case, it seems as though you were hoping for a follow up action from him, and he hasn’t given that to you. So, now you have two options. Either reach out to him or don’t. But regardless of what you decide, please don’t let your friend’s ridiculous comments get in your head. I would be mindful of getting drunk around men you don’t know because they may try to harm you or push you into things you weren’t consenting to do. Regardless, if he is the kind of guy thinks you were “easy” why would you want to entertain seeing him again? Doesn’t that make him “easy,” too? Why are we giving him the power here? Anyone who tries to use your sexuality as a weapon against you doesn’t deserve another minute of your time. Reach out to him if and only if you want to because it’s your choice. Not because you feel as though you have to prove something. 

DEAR NATALIE: As we all know, the pandemic has made everyone’s finances feel rather unstable. Recently, my husband was laid off because his office downsized due to Covid-19. On the other hand, my business is booming. He has become moody lately and not interested in having much sex with me. I keep telling myself he’s just depressed about losing his job, but every now and then he will make a snide comment about what I do for a living. I’m not sure how to handle him right now. I love him, of course, but he is being really difficult. Any advice on how to help him through this rough patch? —PUNISHED FOR SUCCESS

DEAR PUNISHED FOR SUCCESS:The pandemic has taken a toll on so many lives in so many ways, but for some people, the past 16 months have been good financially. Why should you shrink your successes down just because your husband is feeling inadequate? I’m certainly not suggesting that you rub anything in his face, but if he is lashing out at you for what is going on with him professionally, that is unfair to you and to your relationship. Being married -- or in a committed partnership -- means building each other up and also supporting each other through the tough times. He is clearly going through it right now and I’m sure having you by his side means a lot whether he can admit that or not. But, if he continues to berate and belittle you, please let him know that it is hurtful. You don’t deserve to be emotionally abused just because he is having a tough time. Support him as best you can, but also protect your space from his negativity. You deserve to shine.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

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DEAR NATALIE: I have reconnected with my old boyfriend from college after 20-plus years. During that time, we both married. He is divorced and has two kids that are in college now. I married and lost my husband to cancer six years ago. We had one daughter who is in high school. My college sweetheart was the “one that got away” in a lot of ways. I often wondered what happened to him and if he was happy. He found me on Facebook a few months ago and we have started to chat. He lives out of state but we have fallen right back into love it seems. My daughter is unhappy about this -- I don’t think she understands how lonely I’ve been since my husband died. I feel this new lease on life and I feel guilty because of that. Do you think it is possible to have a second chance at love with your first love? At the time, we were just kids and not ready but I think we really are in a different place now. What do you think? Is this just a pipe dream or do you think people can come back together if the timing works? -SECOND CHANCES

DEAR SECOND CHANCES: Isn’t love grand? Isn’t it seriously amazing how it can find you? You never know what is around the corner and that is what makes life so terrifying and amazing all at once. I get giddy when I receive letters like this because it reinforces the idea that love is for everyone. No matter the stage of life, no matter the circumstances, it can find you. And in this case, it seems like it has found you again. What a gift to reconnect with someone who knew you so intimately when you were this younger woman and who is wanting to get to know you in this present moment. I do think it is possible to have a second chance at love with someone you knew long ago. In fact, if you are coming back together now, it could either serve as a new chapter, or to close the first one. Either way, it is powerful and romantic. I am sorry that your daughter is having a hard time with this, but it may be worth sitting down and discussing it with her openly and honestly. Express to her that you feel lonely sometimes and that her dad wouldn’t want you to be alone forever. Share with her that no one can ever replace her father and that you aren’t trying to do that. You are just looking for someone to share experiences with and enjoy life together. She may need some words of reassurance. Remind her that as she moves along on her journey, you are always there for her, but that life is made up of chapters. This may be a new one for you and you hope she can keep an open mind and heart. This is your moment. Don’t worry it away.

DEAR NATALIE: My 10-year-old son is suffering from severe anxiety brought on by his fears around school and Covid-19. I tell my husband that he is too young to be watching the news with him, but they are glued to the computer most afternoons when they are together. My husband works from home and he is online all day long. My son is scared now to go to school and is afraid of getting sick and dying. He is seeing all these images of kids with Covid and when I try to explain to him that it is a rare thing for kids to get sick, he doesn’t believe me. What’s worse, some of his friends’ parents are anti-vaxxers and so he is afraid to hang out with his friends. He stays at home a lot and I think it’s making him depressed. He has no issue wearing a mask -- none of his friends do and they wear them too without question -- but I am really worrying about his mental health. Do you have any thoughts on how we can better support our kids right now? —FEELING HELPLESS

DEAR FEELING HELPLESS: I can’t even imagine how scary the world would seem right now to a 10-year-old. This is an age where they start to become very concerned about rules and societal order. To see the world unfolding the way that it is -- and to feel that adults are not protecting them -- would be anxiety-inducing. While I agree with you that he shouldn’t be watching so much news in order to help reduce his anxiety, we all know that kids are going to find out information one way or another. Instead, it might be worth sitting him down and have him write out his top five questions about the pandemic. Then, you can work on answering them together. This may help him to feel empowered and teach him how to research. If you sit with him, you can guide him along, using reputable and age-appropriate materials. If he is comfortable being outside with his friends while wearing masks, that may be another good compromise because children need to socialize. You are right. He may be depressed because he isn’t interacting with his friends and also because he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. There are also activities that you could do that help others -- like volunteering at a community garden or fostering a pet to help ground him. Speaking of grounding, you can do fun activities to reduce anxiety like cooking, stretching and taking nature walks. Finding ways to connect in tangible ways and keeping him off line as much as possible can help reduce his fears overall. Watching a funny show or movie before bed or reading a good book together may help, as well. Hugs are the best, too.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter

@NatalieBenci and on Instagram @NatalieBenci