DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I have been invited to the wedding of his boss. It will be a second marriage for the groom, but not for the bride, who is a few years younger.

The venue is a very formal, upscale restaurant, but the groom keeps insisting they’re keeping it casual. I’m just afraid that’s the “guy” view, and not what the bride and her family have in mind.

How do we know how to dress for this mixed message wedding? Since it’s my husband’s boss, we want to get it right! --- TO DRESS OR NOT TO DRESS

DEAR TO DRESS OR NOT TO DRESS: It’s possible you might be able to get a feel from the invitation about how formal or informal the affair is going to be. If the invite is traditional, the safer bet may be to go more formal; if it’s fun and very contemporary, a little less dressy may be the uniform of the day, but personally, I’d rather err on the side of being a bit overdressed than underdressed, especially at what is indirectly a work event for your husband.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It always annoyed me when my mother or mother-in-law would offer unasked for opinions on how I raised my kids. Because of that I have a no interference policy with my own daughter, whose children are three and nearly seven.

The younger girl is still sweet, but her big sister is another story. She cusses and yells at her parents and at my husband and me, and at pretty much anyone else she feels like treating that way. Her baby sister watches it all and has started trying the same behavior out for herself.

Neither my daughter nor son-in-law do anything to stop this behavior, they seem to think it’s just a phase and ignore it. When we have the kids at our house, my husband and I try to establish rules, with mixed results.

For the sake of our grandchildren, do you think I should break my butt out policy and say something to my daughter? --- TROUBLED GRANDMA

DEAR TROUBLED GRANDMA: As you already well know, sometimes the hardest part about being a mother is knowing when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut.

While it’s certainly your daughter’s job to raise her own kids, I think you need to mention to her your concerns that the way your older granddaughter acts ─ “just a phase” or not ─ is rubbing off on her little sister, who’s old enough to follow the leader, no matter what example that leader is setting.

That you have set rules for behavior in your own home or when you’re taking care of your grandchildren is a good thing, and might help them understand there are indeed limits and expectations they need to respect.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There’s a guy in my dorm who I like. He seems pretty sweet, but he hangs with a couple of wild guys who party way more than I like to.

I’m a junior and this is the first time I could actually get away on spring break, and this guy I’m crushing on has asked me if I want to go with him and his buds to Florida on break. I want to spend time with the guy but not his friends, who are trouble. How do I tell him it’s him, not his friends I want to hang out with? --- LIKE THE GUY, NOT HIS FRIENDS

DEAR LIKE THE GUY: Unless you have reason to believe the trip would be more about you and the guy having time together, rather than you just being part of a partying caravan, I’d say take a pass on this one. It will be too easy for your crush to get caught-up in the inevitable shenanigans and it doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re normally into.

It’s not easy getting to know someone as part of a crowd. Instead, find another way to spend some one-to-one time with him, so you can figure if he’s right for you.