DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandmother passed two weeks ago, and my aunt and her husband submitted the information for the obituary. When it got to the part about survivors, it reads, “nine great-grandchildren, including,” and then it gives the names of my aunt’s grandkids, but not my kids or my sisters’ kids. This bugs and hurts me.

My sisters and I all mentioned it to her right before the viewing, and she said putting in all the kids’ names would have driven up the price of the obituary, and they were trying to keep costs down.

Then she did what she always does, made us feel like second-class citizens because she thinks she’s the queen of the family and always does the right thing.

In honor of my grandmother’s and mother’s memories, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but is she full of crap or not? --- FORGOTTEN SIDE OF THE FAMILY

DEAR FORGOTTEN SIDE OF THE FAMILY: Since it’s common practice for newspapers to charge according to the size of an obituary, your aunt may have, strictly speaking, been telling the truth. However, it’s hard to believe the cost would have been so prohibitive as to prevent her from listing more names. The fairer thing to do would have been to just leave out all the great-grandkids’ names.

I think your goal of honoring your mom’s and grandmother’s memories by letting it go is one way to put a hurtful situation behind you. If you and your sisters want more immediate relief, you might consider placing a memorial ad in the same paper where the obituary ran. In it you could name whomever you wanted. Please just don’t take the low road and purposely exclude anyone, since you know how it feels.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It may be because I’m from Boston and my coworker is a Midwesterner, or it could be she is the biggest suck-up ever, but I’m just having a hard time believing anyone can be so nice with our demanding, often nasty boss.

Is there a way to tell if someone is genuine or not? --- IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE?

DEAR IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE?: It’s good that you give your coworker the benefit of the doubt based on regional personality differences. But this may be a case of watch and wait. If she’s the real thing, my guess is it’ll be apparent over time. If not, eventually even the best-applied veneers tend to crack, and a less than sunny side may show through.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband is our lawn maintenance guy by choice, which since I have loads of allergies, works just fine for me.

What doesn’t work fine for me is that two of our neighbor’s trees hang over the fence, with one of the big old branches practically resting on the top of it. I’m nervous that if this branch or any of the other ones go, they’ll take the fence on our property down with it.

I want my husband to talk to the neighbors about this, but he doesn’t want to cause any hard feelings with them, which I don’t think will happen. They seem reasonable, so I think my husband is just making excuses.

What would be so wrong about talking to the neighbors about this problem? --- MY HUSBAND NEEDS A PUSH

DEAR MY HUSBAND NEEDS A PUSH: It’s understandable that you have concerns about the overhanging branches. Your homeowner’s policy may only cover certain kinds of damage, under certain conditions, and a fence can be an expensive repair project. Property laws also govern how the rights and obligations are assigned in circumstances like these.

Check your insurance policy and local laws, and then offer your husband some reasonable, solid arguments that might help persuade him to take preventative steps to avoid bigger problems down the road. Perhaps you can also offer to go with him when he’s ready to talk with your neighbors.