DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work with a guy who is probably a true genius when it comes to engineering, but has the least amount of common sense I’ve ever seen, I think. He’s generally great to work with and a good guy, but he has three small kids, all of them in school, all of them bringing home every germ known to medicine, which my coworker then brings into our office. We work in pretty tight quarters, and his sneezing and coughing is not only gross, it keeps getting the rest of us sick.

I know the guy doesn’t want to take PTO every time he gets a cold, but our boss has already told him he can work from home for a day or two if he needs to when he’s not feeling well, but he just never does.

Who’s the unreasonable one here? --- TIRED OF SNEEZING

DEAR TIRED OF SNEEZING: The first thing your letter made me think is that your coworker doesn’t want to telecommute because then he’ll be stuck home all day with his sick kids.

Maybe your boss’s offering “permission” to stay out of the office when ill needs to become “strongly urged” to not come in. Your coworker might be further persuaded if the boss’s directive is seconded by those most affected by his germ-sharing the next time the sneezes start.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandmother passed two weeks ago, and my aunt and her husband submitted the information for the obituary. When it got to the part about survivors, it reads, “nine great-grandchildren, including,” and then it gives the names of my aunt’s grandkids, but not my kids or my sisters’ kids. This bugs and hurts me.

My sisters and I all mentioned it to her right before the viewing, and she said putting in all the kids’ names would have driven up the price of the obituary, and they were trying to keep costs down.

Then she did what she always does, made us feel like second-class citizens because she thinks she’s the queen of the family and always does the right thing.

In honor of my grandmother’s and mother’s memories, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but is she full of crap or not? --- FORGOTTEN SIDE OF THE FAMILY

DEAR FORGOTTEN SIDE OF THE FAMILY: Since it’s common practice for newspapers to charge according to the size of an obituary, your aunt may have, strictly speaking, been telling the truth. However, it’s hard to believe the cost would have been so prohibitive as to prevent her from listing more names. The fairer thing to do would have been to just leave out all the great-grandkids’ names.

I think your goal of honoring your mom’s and grandmother’s memories by letting it go is one way to put a hurtful situation behind you. If you and your sisters want more immediate relief, you might consider placing a memorial ad in the same paper where the obituary ran. In it you could name whomever you wanted. Please just don’t take the low road and purposely exclude anyone, since you know how it feels.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It may be because I’m from Boston and my coworker is a Midwesterner, or it could be she is the biggest suck-up ever, but I’m just having a hard time believing anyone can be so nice with our demanding, often nasty boss.

Is there a way to tell if someone is genuine or not? --- IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE?

DEAR IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE?: It’s good that you give your coworker the benefit of the doubt based on regional personality differences. But this may be a case of watch and wait. If she’s the real thing, my guess is it’ll be apparent over time. If not, eventually even the best-applied veneers tend to crack, and a less than sunny side may show through.