DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter was laid off last spring when the movie theatre where she worked shut down. She was working fulltime there, so she was able to collect unemployment, which was helpful. Now, that may be running out and the theatre has no immediate plans to reopen, but other places in our area are starting to hire. The trouble is, she shows no interest in applying anywhere. Her father and I have been helping with her car payments, and she is still under my car insurance, but my income is also down, and it is becoming a stretch to cover her too.

I get that she is probably a little depressed, like so many others who have lost their jobs, but I also think the cure is to get busy.

How do I push her in the right direction when she keeps pushing back? --- NEEDS MOTIVATION

DEAR NEEDS MOTIVATION: Your daughter is indeed far from alone in finding herself demoralized by the events of the last year.

If her health insurance situation allows, perhaps she could get into individual or group therapy with other young people facing similar challenges.

I also agree with you that being busy is generally good medicine. If she isn’t emotionally up to fulltime work, and the unemployment benefits are running out, it might help if you strongly encourage her to take on useful work of any kind, to segue her back into a regular routine. If her movie theatre isn’t going to reopen, she might find at least parttime work with a different employer that is either getting back on track or replacing staff that couldn’t wait out a partial or total temporary shutdown.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and her mother are super close and always have been. Sometimes I wish, though, that they were a little less close, because my mother-in-law is constantly giving my wife her “advice” on how to raise our two children. Our son is four and our daughter is almost two. It’s like my wife has zero confidence in her own abilities, and can’t make a move without consulting with her mom. We have had more than one fight over this, and she thinks I don’t like her mother, which is absolutely not true. I just want for her and me to raise our own kids.

How do I break this habit of reliance? --- TOO MUCH MIL

DEAR TOO MUCH MIL: What might help is if you ask your wife how she herself would handle particular situations as soon as they crop up. If you feel that her plan is reasonable and sound, let her know that and strongly support her following through on it. Keep trying that tactic until she realizes she can make good parenting decisions on her own.

She may still confer with her mother, but perhaps she’ll be more self-assured and less reliant on Mom as the only source of knowledge and wisdom if she fully believes and understands that you have confidence in her abilities to parent your children.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend reports to basic training next month, and I’m having a hard time knowing what to do. Some of my friends think we should break up, since she’s going to be away for at least five years. We’ve been together since sophomore year of high school and I really love her, but I don’t know if we can survive so long apart.

Is it cleaner to just break up now, keep in touch, and see what happens in five years? --- NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

DEAR NOT SURE WHAT TO DO: Military service can be as hard on those left behind as it is for those who go in. You mention what your friends’ opinions are, but what about your girlfriend’s? Have you spoken with her about what she thinks is the best way to handle your relationship at this point? Remember, she’s the one leaving everything familiar behind, and from what I’ve heard of bootcamp, having a good support system from back home can be a critical component of a recruit’s success.

Talk to her and work it out for yourselves. You may find that for the time being, playing it by ear is the way to go. Whatever you decide, please let it be your and your girlfriend’s decision — not your friends’.