DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I was about to graduate college, my grandfather committed suicide. He had been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and couldn’t face what his last few months would be.

At the time, his suicide was much more devastating to our family than his diagnosis had been. My mother took it especially hard, thinking she could have and should have done something to prevent it.

Last month, the mother of a good friend of mine took her own life. She had a history of severe depression and some personal circumstances pushed her over the edge. She left a letter asking her family to forgive her and not blame themselves. She said she had thought about doing this many times over the years and was just waiting for her family to be grown-up and living their own lives to act on it.

My friend is now deeply depressed. Like my mother, she said she should have seen it coming and done something. She is supposed to be getting married in the fall, and now is thinking she ought to delay the wedding, which I believe would be a mistake.

I’ve tried to console and counsel her, since I too had to face having a loved one kill themselves, but she keeps telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about. A grandfather isn’t a mother. An old sick man isn’t a healthy middle-aged woman. When I gently reminded her her mother wasn’t entirely healthy, she just got madder at me.

I know I can help my friend, but at this point I don’t know how. Everything I say seems to just make her madder and sadder. What else can I do? --- NEED TO HELP MY FRIEND

DEAR NEED TO HELP MY FRIEND: For now, rather than trying to treat her, you should just be her friend. Listen to what she has to say and be as available as possible to her when she wants to talk to you. By keeping close, you can better be on the lookout for signs of worsening depression.

If you see any, you should alert someone else in her family and/or circle of close friends. Together or individually, in addition to being there for her, you might convince her to seek professional grief counseling or other behavioral health services.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend has this thing about not being able to fall asleep at night without the TV on. He is a paramedic and sees some truly bad stuff on a daily basis. So, I can get how the TV playing helps him fall asleep because it helps block out the thoughts that otherwise keep him awake. But what works for him, makes it hard for me to fall or stay asleep.

I have tried different things to block out the TV, including buying a $70 pair of noise cancelling earbuds and a couple different sleep masks. I find both the earbuds and the masks uncomfortable to sleep with, so I gave up using them.

I love my boyfriend and want to spend as much time with him as I can, but how do we get around this difference in what we need to sleep? --- NEED SOME SLEEP

DEAR NEED SOME SLEEP: I know a few people who, like your boyfriend, use the TV to help them fall asleep. Perhaps your boyfriend could explore alternate ways to block his busy mind when it’s bedtime.

For instance, if he hasn’t yet, he could try listening to music or reading something not connected to his job. There are studies that suggest exercising later in the day helps facilitate dozing off at bedtime. If his TV has a sleep timer, setting it may help you both get better sleep if it turns off after he’s dozed off. His being the one to use Bluetooth earbuds or headphones to listen to whatever he’s watching might at least eliminate one of the issues causing you to lose sleep.

There are many tried-and-true ways to ease people into sleep. It will likely take some experimentation to find something you can both live with — and successfully sleep to.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I just moved into my first apartment and have two other roommates. We all get along pretty good, and sometimes hangout together in the living room or on the deck before, during, and after meals.

One of my roommates has an incredibly hot brother. He seems to be a real nice guy as well. I think he at least kind of likes me, but I am afraid that if he asks me out, I will have to turn him down, because I think it would be kind of weird for his sister if we start hooking up.

I do not feel I know my new roommate all that well to feel her out on the subject, especially if I am reading her brother wrong.

Do you think I should bring the whole situation up and ask her permission to go out with her brother if he asks me? I also worry how weird it would be if we started seeing each other and then it did not work out. I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend right now, but I like where I am living and want to be able to stay here. --- CRUSHING ON MY ROOMMATE’S BROTHER

DEAR CRUSHING ON MY ROOMMATE’S BROTHER: I agree with you that this entire situation could lead to any number of awkward outcomes.

My advice would be to take things slow and give yourself time to settle into your new living arrangement and get to know your roommates better. It’s probably a pretty good guess that if there’s a mutual attraction between your roomie’s brother and you, your other roommates will pick up on it, and you can take your lead from their reactions.