DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After over 12 years living in a remote location, my husband and I are moving into a subdivision with a socially active community. While my extroverted husband is excited about this, I am very reluctant.
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As an introvert, I enjoy the company of others in very small doses. The community we are moving into has lots of amenities for physically active people, which my husband and I both are. But as an introvert, I usually don’t want company on a hike, run, etc., as these are important opportunities for me to recharge so I can be friendly and enthusiastic when I rejoin society. It’s important that I have alone-time every day so I can continue to be engaging and compassionate in my leadership role at work.
I’m wondering if you have tips on how I can meet and befriend people in the community, while also maintaining some personal space. --- PART-TIME INTROVERT
DEAR PART-TIME INTROVERT: Since you’re clearly aware of your limited tolerance for people time, as well as your husband’s more gregarious nature, my advice is for you to each follow your inclinations in the new community.
Your husband will most likely readily make friends. That’ll in turn widen your own pool of acquaintances, which might lead to friendships if you find yourself clicking with any of them.
Simply exploring your neighborhood on foot is another way to be introduced to new people in a lowkey manner. From the kind of brief conversations you casually strike up in passing, you may find not only the sort of interactions you’re more comfortable with, but which also give you a glimpse of potential connections that could eventually deepen.
As to being able to maintain your solitary hikes and runs, I’d say try to locate parks in the area — but not too close to your new subdivision — where you’re likely to find the anonymity you crave while you recharge your batteries.