DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I share an office with Carson, who has been in his current position for at least as long as I’ve been with the company, which is just over three years.
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When I started I was hired as a research assistant. My promotion to marketing was the result of an opening coming available right around the time of my annual review, during which I expressed an interest in moving into that area, especially since I majored in PR/marketing. My review numbers were high and I successfully interviewed for the opening with the head of marketing, who thought I would be a natural fit, and so I got the job.
He hasn’t said anything directly to me, but I have heard from more than one coworker that Carson is saying I played politics and pulled “my race card” to get my promotion into marketing. He said there were several other more qualified people from my old department, and they should have been given the promotion.
I have never played politics in my working life, and I most certainly have never made an issue of my race. I worked hard for two and a half years at my job to prove myself and improve my overall skills. I have no doubt the promotion was entirely legit.
My boyfriend said Carson is insecure and jealous that I moved up probably quicker than he did, and Carson also sees that I am killing the new job, at least based on my 90-day review.
There is a growing tension between me and Carson. I am just out of my probation period, so I don’t want to push for a different workspace. There aren’t that many. Remote work isn’t possible at this time either.
My boyfriend told me to confront Carson and tell him to stop spreading lies about me. But I look at it as I have to share a space with and work with this man and don’t want to make those hours any more difficult.
Do you think I should continue to let it go, or do what my boyfriend said? --- HAVE TO WORK WITH THE MAN
DEAR HAVE TO WORK WITH THE MAN: Although there are some advantages to following your boyfriend’s advice to clear the air with Carson, as you mentioned, you do have to spend your workweek with him.
Your company believed you were ready for your promotion, and your reviews back up their confidence in you.
I think the way to shut down your officemate’s covert criticisms isn’t by confronting him, but rather by continuing to do well in your job. That should help others see that you’re where you’re supposed to be based on your merit and hard work, thereby discrediting Carson’s malicious tales.